Speech by Andy Martin

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Andy Martin
Speech Date: Aug 2008
Thanks for those kind words Chris. I'm glad I impressed you with my ability to polish off a burger and chips in record time. After many family BBQs, I'm sure you have since realised that it wasn't a one off feat!

When I saw Chez in her wedding dress for the first time today I was absolutely speechless. Unfortunately I am no longer speechless so you guys will have to put up with me talking for the next 20 minutes!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, on behalf of my beautiful wife and I…….I'd like to thank you all for joining us today to celebrate our marriage! It's a privilege to be in the company of so many people that are important in our lives and we're delighted to welcome you here to share our special day with us. We're touched that many of you have chosen spend today with us instead of at the office! Many of you have travelled a long way too – Amy and Christian have come all the way from Colorado! It's great to see all of you!
My wife and I ….I'll never get bored of that! would also like to thank you all for your generosity and all the fantastic gifts you have bought for us. I can't tell you how much they mean to us – but I should have a better idea after the honeymoon, once I've had chance to list them on eBay! Apart from the frying pan, which Chez will need for cooking my breakfast! Or for beating me round the head for making lame jokes like that!

Chez and I have a long list of people who have helped make today special and I would like to take this opportunity to say a few thank yous I'm very experienced at saying thank you – since meeting Chez I have spent every day thanking my lucky my stars!

Anyone not mentioned by name, please be assured that Chez and I are very grateful for your contribution.

First of all thanks to Cliff, Shirley and all the staff at Cranleigh for their hard work in making our ideas a reality. If you haven't already noticed, no animals were harmed in the making of this wedding as it is a vegetarian wedding. Not that everyone hear is a vegetarian Chez can only dream!, but all the food is suitable for vegetarians. I heard that a few of you were worried by this so I have been asked to point out that they sell Pork Scratchings behind the bar!
Thanks to Jean who loaned us the beautiful crockery we used for the afternoon tea today. Matt was particularly impressed by the Afternoon Tea he said to me earlier that he had never seen so many cups before. Understandable, since he is a Coventry City fan!

Thanks in advance to the barn dance band Thingumajig, who will be making sure we all go home tonight with tired feet. Just to point out – I don't have a bad memory – they're actually called “Thingumajig”!

After the band have finished, Rory will be our DJ for the rest of the evening, and will keep the party going. Chez wouldn't let me DJ our wedding myself which is a bit of result for all of you as Rory is far better on the decks than I am! Thanks Rory. And thanks to Steve for acting as ‘Roadie’ and making sure we have a 1000 Watt sound system for Rory's set later. I hope Cliff didn‘t hear me say that!

Thanks Hannah and Pete for your readings during the ceremony.

Kate and Ciarron – thanks for being our photographers for the day. I know you've both been working extremely hard since very early this morning to ensure we have lots of amazing pictures to look back on in years to come. Chez and I have a gift for both of you..…
[GIVE FLOWERS TO KATE &amp CIZ]

Thanks Tim for video recording the ceremony for us and for recording the speeches right now too. Hopefully you have has mastered the use of the record button on your video camera since my Stag Do – on part of our helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon Tim held the camera pointed at the helicopter floor whilst it was recording, and then switched it off as he pointed it out of the window at the amazing scenery!

Thanks to the Ushers Ricky, James and Tim. You were all a great help in planning the finer details of the day, and you've done a superb job of making sure the day proceeds as planned. Thanks guys. Chez and I have something for each of you as a token of our appreciation..…
[GIVE GIFTS TO RICKY, TIM &amp JAMES]

We'd like to thank Nina and George, Chez's grandparents, for our beautiful wedding cake I'd like to personally thank them for the 6 slices I am going to eat! We have a little something for you too……
[GIVE ENVELOPE TO GEORGE AND NINA]
And Jo and Luca, our gorgeous bridesmaids! Thank you both for all your help today. You performed your duties to perfection and looked absolutely beautiful as you did so. Jo – thanks also for organising such a fantastic Hen Do for Chez, especially as organising all her friends can be a bit like herding cats! Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding and join me in a toast to the bridesmaids. The bridesmaids! Jo, Luca – Chez and I have a gift for you both.…
[GIVE GIFTS TO JOANNE &amp LUCA]

There are two people without whom I would not be here today – one is the taxi driver who gave me a lift this morning, the other is my Mom. Mom, thanks for all your love and support and for all the opportunities you gave me that made for such a great start in life and led me to today. This is for you…
[GIVE ENVELOPE TO MOM]

I'd like to thank Chris for giving away his daughter. After all his generosity in making today possible, Chez was about all he had left to give away! Chris &amp Lynne – thank you both so much for everything you have done for us. We are extremely grateful. Personally, I want to assure you both that I'll look after Chez and do everything I can to make her happy. I'll even wash my own sailing gear after day out in the “family” boat! Chez and I have something for you both.…
[GIVE ENVELOPE TO CHRIS &amp LYNNE]

With regards my new family in general I really couldn't have married in to a better family. Things were looking good right from the start the very first time I went round to Chris &amp Lynne's I was greeted with a glass of champagne. A few minutes later Rick. gave me a lift into town to go out for a meal with Chez. And at the end of the night Uncle Joe drove me home when I was bit worse for wear. Everyone made me feel so welcome. To all the Yates’ and Nina, George, Sally, Byron, Sam and Freya – it's an honour to be officially related to all of you!

And now to Chez, my Angel!
It's tradition that I say a few words about how my wife and I met. Since we have to be out of here at midnight I won't present the screenplay version as I so often do and I'll try to be brief!
Chez and I met through an agency – an Estate Agency! As Chris mentioned, My house was on the market and Chez came to look round as a prospective buyer. My first impression of Chez that day was that she spoke a bit posh and was absolutely gorgeous! There was no chance of Chez thinking the same about me – speaking posh I mean!
A few days later Chez made an offer on the house which I accepted I thought for a while that maybe it was my good looks and charming character that clinched the deal. I later found out that it was because the house had a cat flap, and Chez had plans to get cats!

It wasn't until a few weeks after that first meeting that we met again when Chez came in to the club where I was DJing. I spotted her across the dance floor and immediately raced over to talk to her with the opening chat up line “Aren't you the girl buying my house!?”

I took the traditional approach in making sure Chez knew that I was keen on her, one that was guaranteed not to fail I told one of her friends that I thought Chez was amazing and that I really liked her – and then asked her not to let on to Chez!

Chez and I swapped numbers and soon after arranged to go out for a drink. I got an excited text message from Chez approximately 10 seconds after arranging to meet for a drink that said “Hot date arranged for Monday!” quickly followed by another message saying “Ooops, that wasn't meant for you!”. From that point, I knew she was keen on me too!

Several dates later it was official – we we're “going out”. I remember it well the sun was shining, the birds were singing, I had a spring in my step and a song in my heart – the song was “You'll Never Walk Alone” as Liverpool had just been crowned Champions of Europe for the 5th time!

My friend Steve then came up with a great idea. He said to me “If you marry her, you'll get your house back!”. And here we are today!

Chez, I love you so much, the words I love you just don't seem enough. But I'm not worried by that, as I intend to spend every day of the rest our lives showing you just how much I love you and in being the husband that you deserve. I'm excited about our future together there will be so many good times that we'll share, and we'll face every challenge side by side and grow stronger together – and of course there are the 2 spare bedrooms in the new house that we need to fill! Chez, thank you for marrying me and making my whole world complete. I love you.

As you all know, Chez has another man in her life – our son Fin. If there was anything to symbolize just how much Chez and I feel about each other then it's this little man. Fin, mummy and daddy love you very much and want to thank you for being the greatest son we could have ever wished for, and for being such a great page boy today. We've got a little something for you mate.…
[GIVE PRESENT TO FIN]

And now, the moment you have all been waiting for and I have been dreading.

But before I handover to Matt to administer my ritual humiliation, a few words about my best man. Matt and I have been friends for over 12 years. When writing my speech I thought about what is meant by the word “friend”. Turning to the dictionary a friend is defined as someone to whom you are attached through affection and esteem, who is a favored companion, a supporter and an ally. After checking that I hadn””t looked up the word ””knob”” by mistake, I concluded that Matt was indeed a true friend.

As a true friend, Matt and I have shared some great times through the years, and he has always been there for me as somebody I can rely on.

I recently relied on Matt to organise my Stag Do – nothing too grand, just 5 days in Las Vegas! Mate, you did an amazing job. It was the best Stag Do I could have ever wished for and exceeded all my expectations. Nice one mate! Not only did Matt pull off the Stag Do of the century, but all of this only weeks after the arrival of his baby daughter Amelia. Although I think Matt saw Vegas as time away to catch up on lost sleep on the Saturday night we went clubbing and he was asked to leave the club by a bouncer for falling asleep in our VIP area!

Thanks for being a great best man and best friend. This is for you mate..…
[GIVE GIFT TO MATT]

One final thing, most people don't know this, but Matt lives in a parallel universe which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true so please humour him during his speech!

Ladies and gentleman, the Best Man!