Speech by Anon

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Anon
Speech Date: Jul2005
Thank you, Brian, for your kind words, I hope I1ll live up to your
expectations as your Son-in-Law.

As you can tell, this isn't the first time today I've risen from a warm
seat with a piece of paper in my hand! and I don1t think it1s going to
be the last!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Friends, Relations and any stray golfers who may
have wandered in, on behalf of my wife and I… or as I prefer to call
her "my most recent ex-girlfriend", welcome.

I hope you're all enjoying yourselves on this special day and it1s
great to see you all.

I would like to start this endless list of thank-you1s by saying a
special thank you to everyone who has travelled here today from as far
as London, (repeat if no one cheers!!) Ireland, Devon, Norfolk, New
Zealand and even Wigan!

I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you. It would
also have been a lot cheaper without you, but that's beside the point!

There are two people very dear to us who were unable to make it here
today, my Nan and Colette1s Uncle John, they are both in our thoughts
today and missed very much. Please raise your glasses to absent friends.

I would sincerely like to thank Brian and Maureen, for always making me
feel very welcome and for giving us this wonderful wedding, and
reception. Most of all, thank you for giving me your blessing, to marry
your lovely daughter.

I have to admit that I was a bit nervous about meeting Colette1s dad
for the first time as I knew that he was very protective about his only
daughter.
But once he1d sent the lads round to straighten out a few things we get
on just fine now …er don1t we Mr Colvin, erm…lads?

Speaking of the lads… The ushers, my brother Andrew and inlaws Tony
and Andrew have done a great job today and look great. I felt they
leant a certain nightclub doorman respectability to the whole occasion
and I admired the way they searched the ladies handbags going into the
church with such discretion. Thank you boys.

(GIVE PRESENTS TO USHERS)

We would like to thank both sets of parents as we wouldn't be here
today if it wasn't for them. Thank you for all of your love and support
over the years. For all the advice you have given us. For putting up
with us and pointing us in the right direction and in return I can
assure you that only the finest nursing homes await you!

Mum, you look lovely and I can see that being bullied around the shops
by Colette really did pay off – she1s very persuasive isn1t she?!!!

I would like to say a special thank you to Colette1s mum for everything
but most of all for supporting her through the tribulations of planning
this wedding, taking over when I no longer had the strength to discuss
pew ends or the importance of matching ribbon. Due to the number of
phone calls between Colette and her mother, BT would also like to thank
you both and they1ve sent some lovely flowers

(GIVE FLOWERS TO MUMS)

Thanks must go to everyone involved in the ceremony, Fr Melly did a
wonderful job as did my Dad and Nicky with their readings.

Nicky also has a special day today, I1d like to take this opportuntiy
on behalf of my wife and I to wish Nicky a happy birthday if you1d
please raise your glasses…to Nicky…Happy Birthday!

I1d also like to thank our gorgeous bridesmaids, Kate, Erin and Amy who
were beautifully behaved

And to the lovely Donna, thanks for keeping Colette sane and in check
for the past couple of months, or is it years now? You must let me in
on your secret!

(Give presents to bridesmaids)

So, tradition dictates that I now tell you an amusing story or two
about Colette and myself…

…unfortunately, she dictates that I do no such thing.

Although as soon as I saw Colette for the first time, I knew that I had
to speak to her as she was the one person that could give me something
that I needed and wanted, I confidently walked up to her, looked into
her eyes and said.… 3can I have 2 pints of fosters please2 .…
sorry, did I not mention that she worked in my local? She managed to
ply me with enough dutch courage masquerading under the brand of
carlsberg that I finally asked her out. And now we1re here!

But what I will say is that we've been together now for nearly 3 years,
and in that time I've learned a very valuable lesson:

Whenever you're Wrong – Admit It!!
Whenever you're Right – Shut it!
They say you don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the
person who you cannot live without which is very true with Colette, and
while looking forward and preparing myself for today I wasn't prepared
enough for when I saw her walk down the aisle radiant with sheer
elegance, grace and beauty. I am overwhelmed to say the least by how
beautiful Colette looks this afternoon. I feel so proud and honoured to be married to her.
I thank you Colette for everything you have done for me and all the
love you have given me. I cannot begin to show just how much you mean
to me. I love you and promise that I will be there for you until the
day we part. You are everything I have ever dreamed of… and more!

Now, moving on swiftly to Leon, I'd like to thank you for agreeing to
be my Best Man.
Most of you won't know him, but we met at university about 6 or 7 years
ago, and in that time he has proven to be and I hope will continue to
be a great friend to both me and Colette…

… of course that could all change in the next few minutes!

Before I leave you in the capable hands of my best man t I1d like you
to charge your glasses and toast our lovely bridesmaids.
Ladies and Gentleman, Kate, Erin, Amy and Donna, the bridesmaids.

Oh and some words of advice that my dear dad gave to me ….1Son1, he
said, always have the last word…1Yes, Dear1.