Speech by Anon

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Anon
Speech Date: Jul2004
Firstly, I'd like to thank Eric for his kind words, and I'll settle with you as promised at the bar later!

I decided that I would give you what's known in the trade as the “miniskirt” speech, that is it's short enough to keep you interested but long enough to cover the essentials.

Many people thought that this day would never come, that I'd be stood here making the speech of a newly married man, myself included in fact! Although the fact is that since I met Sharon, It has been a life changing experience. Ever since I first met her on the 15th Nov 2002 I knew instantly that she was the one for me and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We have two beautiful children together and I recently decided to give up working to become a full time househusband. Something my colleagues at first couldn't believe, two years ago I wouldn't have believed it! What I'm trying to say is “Sharon you are the best thing ever to happen to me and I love you with all of my heart.

I would like you all including my new bride to know how happy and proud I am to be stood here speaking to you today as her husband. And for the very first time can I say on behalf of my new wife and I, Thank you for all the cards, kind words and wonderful presents.

I/We have many people here today that we need to thank, but I'd like to start with my beautiful wife Sharon, thank you for agreeing to marry me, you know all of my annoying habits yet you still agreed to marry me. Nothing could have prepared me for how beautiful you looked the first time I turned around in that church today. As most of you could tell I was completely overwhelmed and totally speechless. (That doesn't happen often)

As you're all aware, the first people I should be thanking are Sharon's parents, Des & Norma(deceased). And, although I never met them I feel I know them through Sharon & Ellie. I only wish I'd had the opportunity to meet them, if only to thank them for the privilege of marrying their beautiful daughter Sharon. I know that they would be very proud parents today. We are very fortunate to have a wonderful auntie & uncle in Eric & Nelda, and my wife and I would like to thank them for everything they've done to make our day so special. As some of you will know Eric worked for BT most of his working life and here I have a card of condolences from BT to Eric, which reads, “now the weddings here, your shares have peaked,” signed Busby.

I also have a huge thank you for my parents, for all the love and support they've given me over the years. For all the advice, for putting up with me and pointing me in the right direction. I am so proud to have you as my parents.

I'd like to thank Andrew for agreeing to be my best man, we've been friends for about 20 years, and I feel it is my duty to point out to you NOW that Andrew has a very rare medical condition that he picked up in Greece some years ago that makes him prone to embellishment. This means he often invents the most bizarre stories and believes them to be totally true. So please please bear this in mind when he starts to speak shortly.

Another job well done today was by our two ushers, “dumb and dumber” Stuart and Wayne. Thank you both for everything. And there's one other dashing young man I must thank and that's our pageboy “Matthew”. I think he's still smiling from the ride in the Porsche this morning.

Finally, I'd like to thank our bridesmaids today.

I'm sure you'll agree they are all absolutely stunning and they've done an excellent job looking after my beautiful bride today.

So, ladies and gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses in a toast to…

‘The Bridesmaids’

I could stand here all day and bore you with stale jokes but I'll leave that job to my best man Andrew.

I nearly forgot that there are two, no three people who couldn't be here with us today. I'm glad to say that the reason they couldn't be here is a very good one, perhaps the best. Because on Wednesday, Sharon's best friend gave birth to a bouncing baby boy who weighed in at a healthy 7lb 1oz. So I'd like to propose another toast to the proud parents Paul & Sharon on the birth of their first child…

To Jake Ellis