Speech by Anon

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Anon
Speech Date: Jul2007
Firstly, Jonathan, can I say thanks for those kind words I'm honoured to be your son-in-law. As you know, I'm truly besotted with Katherine and I'll always cherish her and take care of her …and of course do everything she tells me to do…now I'm not saying she's bossy…but I do know my place! PAUSE My only hope is that I can live up to the image that Katherine has painted of me, or failing that at least keep the illusion going a little bit longer! PAUSE

I'd like to say a big thank you to both you and Hazel for welcoming me and supporting us right from the start. And after spending 12 months living with the in-laws I can't claim that I didn't know what I was getting myself into! PAUSE Honestly, I feel very lucky to be a part of your wonderful family.

I'd also like to take this once in a lifetime opportunity to say a few things about my own parents, Cathy and Chris. Firstly, I'd like to thank my Mum. You really are an inspiration. You've proved that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything. Maybe changing car propshafts was a step too far, but I must say the old Cortina worked quite well for a while. PAUSE For all the times you went without for us and for all your love, I thank you Mum.

Dad, what can I say?! Thanks for all your help, advice, support, financing, and most importantly of all, for being such a hero on the stag do! PAUSE Thanks for being a great Dad I know it's not easy having such a perfect son! PAUSE. I should also say thanks for encouraging me to go to university, for without which Katherine and I might not have met. For that I am eternally grateful and I hope that Katherine is too PAUSE!

Now, my wife and I PAUSE AND BE TAKEN BACK We're overwhelmed that we could be joined today with so many friends and family – it wouldn't have been the same without you – well ok, it would have been an awful lot cheaper! PAUSE Seriously, every one of you has played a part in our lives – we would like to say thanks for those great memories and for those yet to come. I'd also like to say thank you for your generous gifts – it really is amazing the bargains that you can get off Ebay!

Now, I'd like to attempt to express how absolutely stunning my gorgeous bride looks today. I can honestly say the extra effort has not gone un-noticed. You really have surpassed any expectations I could possibly have had.

But before I continue to describe Katherine's other alluring qualities, I'd like to recount how we first met for those that aren't familiar with the story.

Our first meeting was a fleeting affair, when in the first year at University, Katherine, together with an entourage from my neighbour's room, burst in, interrupting my sleep. Even in my weary state, I knew that this chance meeting would not be the last. PAUSE

Both Katherine and I were experts in tactical flirtation and when she moved into a household with my good university friends, it was only a matter of time until things flourished. The decisive kiss occurred after a cup of tea, an afternoon chat and another sitting of Channel 4’s Fifteen to One. And yes I was sober. PAUSE

From that day forth Katherine and I have been inseparable. Charming, witty, intelligent and good looking – I think you can all agree that Katherine has done quite well for herself!

Despite our shared good-looks PAUSE and SMILE Katherine has a host of qualities that I can only mirror in an imperfect way She is kind and affectionate, she is strong-willed but fair she does not envy nor want for much – ok, she does have rather expensive tastes PAUSE

She is patient and a good friend and about as selfless as it gets. She means everything to me. I couldn't have wished for a more perfect wife. And what I really mean is that we are a perfect match.

Despite appearances ! we aren't perfect but our imperfections are really the good bits – the idiosyncrasies that only our most intimate companions know about. Those are the things that make Katherine my wife and me her husband. And no, I'll not be sharing any of that! PAUSE

Here's to our future together in the words of the poet, Robert Burns:

””Grow old along with me, The best is yet to be.””

Now that I am married I will admit one final thing – I have some catching up to do in certain domestic matters I must learn to cook like Katherine and with the same frequency, but I'm sure after another year or two of watching how Katherine does it, I'll get the idea PAUSE.

As husband and wife, we'd like to thank all of you that have made this day possible – Jonathan and Hazel especially Hazel for making our fantastic wedding cake – I hope you all like brandy!

Cathy and Chris for the gorgeous flowers that are in abundance today.

The bridesmaids – Emma, Charlotte, Zoe and Alison –you all look amazing. You've all been a terrific help to Katherine, not just today but throughout the lengthy preparations

Our good friend Esther, for doing a wonderful job co-ordinating the hen do and the many occasions styling all of the girls’ hair.

The Ushers – firstly, Paul WHAY! and Michelle to whom I'd like to especially thank for coming all the way from New Zealand for today, and to Tom and Matthew for our emotional church readings and first-class ushering.

We'd also like to thank Andrew for coming from Canada and we're sorry that Ashley couldn't make the journey for today.

I'd like us all to spare a thought for those that are not able to be with us today – my grandparents, Stanley and Myrtle and Gordon and Katherine. And also Katherine's grandparents Eileen and Len. The day's celebrations are in honour of them too.

Well, I'm almost ready to pass you over to my best man, my brother, Matthew, whom I'm sure is keen to tell you all my imperfections – I mean the really good bits!! PAUSE

But before I do, I'd like to say a big thanks for organizing the stag do, it was definitely one to remember – although you can probably remember a lot more than I can as you weren't downing the pints!! PAUSE And thanks for being a great role model over the years – it's easier to avoid mistakes when your older brother has just made them – Well, this time around you're the lucky one! Joking aside, you've always been there for me and I couldn't have wished for a closer or better brother or best man.

Finally then, can I please ask you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to the bridesmaids.

Well, that's me all done. All I need to do is pass you over to the best man, my brother Matthew.