Speech by Arran Armitage

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Arran Armitage
Speech Date: Oct2006
Superman music plays…….…

I am sure that I can trust you all with my secret.

Icebreaker

I knew following johns speech would be a very difficult thing to do…… and I was right I couldn't follow a single word of it! Thank you for your kind words they will remain with me for as long as I live which after this speech may not be long!!

Thank you to all the guests

No in all seriousness I would like to thank you all for making the effort for travelling to Essex and on a Wednesday. To Rachel and I it means that you really wanted be here which makes the day all the more special for us. I would like to make a special mention to Uncle Paul and Auntie Sally who have travelled all the way from New Zealand that's 11,000 miles away. I should perhaps mention that they moved there in the first place to get rid of us. No we have great memories of our time with them when we were in New Zealand and are honoured to have them here to share in our special day.

Rachel's Parents

There are so many people that make your day special on your Wedding obviously Rachel is one!! So to her thank you for turning up. I would also like to thank both our parents for all there help and support.

John and Liz what can I say. Thank you bringing up such a wonderful daughter and for letting me marry her today. I know Liz has probably been dreading this as I have been teasing her with the content of my speech but she has no need to worry, it is all good. Thank you John and Liz for making me so welcome in your family. I am a shy person as you know, but you have both made it very easy for me to fit in. I hope I can be everything you want from a son-in-law because I expect a lot from you as parent in laws!

My Parents

To my own parents what a great job you have done in raising such a well rounded witty charming handsome young man – I think they deserve a round of applause. They have never been anything but accepting and have always let me live my own life respecting the choices I have made. So thank you for all you have done for me and for being here today to support me.

As a token of our appreciation for both parents we have some small gifts. Rachel do the honours!

Ladies and gentleman the parents!!

Bride
Now to my beautiful bride! Doesn't she look fantastic ladies and gentleman! I am sure there a lot of jealous men sitting in this room right now. Well no need to be as now she is mine I am selling her after the Wedding breakfast at very reasonable rates for her cooking skills.

We have been together now 8 years and I admit it took me a long time to ask her to marry me standing here today looking at her beautiful face I am kicking myself that I did not do it sooner. As you all know Rachel and I recently went on a round the world trip – hence the table names. They are all the countries that we visited so please enjoy the photos from them. This was my ultimate test to see if we were compatible 8 months just me and her and I figured if I came back alive then she must be right for me. It was touch and go for a while in a tent in the middle of the African jungle when we had a four hour tantrum about the mozzies, the tent leaking water and that the bed was lumpy. This was only day 3 of the 8 month trip and I think I was only about two more sobs away from taking a short walk towards the lions thinking at least it would be quicker and much less painful.

During our trip I picked up a special skill or reading peoples mind and being able to project there voice in front of a live audience. Today I would like to demonstrate this. I would like to split the room into male and females. Firstly I want all the men to look at Rachel and tell me through your mind no speaking what you would like to do!! It's coming, it's coming..… I wanna kiss the bride. See I knew you were all jealous.

Now my favourite part and may I suggest Rachel my dear you put your fingers in your ears. All the ladies focus on me, and tell me what you think of me, go on really let your self go wild. It's coming, it's coming..… Sexy song. Well your only human!!

I would like to make a toast to my new wife Rachel. To the bride!

Best man

Now as most of you know my brother Jason is currently in Afghan on a 6 month stint with the royal marines. Unfortunately he is unable to be here today and I am sure his great drinking skills and smooth dancing moves will be greatly missed. Rachel and I would like you to charge your glasses to Jason and wish him a safe return home. However in his absence I have found someone much cuter who will probably make a better speech to replace him – to my mini best man and Jason son Ben!

Now to the best man who will in about 20 minutes make his speech. However I am not worried about the speech as he only ever talks about himself!! No seriously Colin and I have been friends for a very long time over 13 years. He has been nothing but a supportive friend and could think of no one better to fill the shoes of brother in being my best man. So Rachel and I would like to say a big thank you for all your support and help over the last 8 years.

Give him a gift – Rachel

Ushers

Both the ushers are very close friends. I could not wish for better people to have been involved in my day. Simon and Lee. By the way now that you have been introduced avoid Simon at all costs as I am sure sitting in his pocket is his sponsor ship form for the NY Marathon he is about to run. So my advice when you see him walking towards you is to run! Thank you both for help making the day run smoothly – you have both done a great job today.

Give out gifts

Bridesmaids
Finally we have the bridesmaids and I am sure you will agree that they both look fantastic. Sarah and Natalie are both big parts of Rachel's life and she is so thrilled that are part of her day. So can I ask you all once last time to raise your glasses and toast the Bridesmaids.

Well you will be glad to know that this is the end of my speech and with great honour I pass you over to the Best Man Colin Dixon, can I get a woo hoo!