Speech by Bevan Botha

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Bevan Botha
Speech Date: Mar2005
Announce the bride and groom :

Would everyone please stand to welcome the bride and groom.

Welcome speech :

Good afternoon and welcome everyone,

Before we get the festivities under way, I should probably introduce myself as a lot of you don't know me and I will be performing the role of MC for the evening. … My name is Bevan, but it must be said that in the past few hours I have discovered that my full name is in fact Bevan WhatcanIgetyou. For those of you that I meet in the bar a little latter, your sensitivity to this will be greatly appreciated ..

Before saying a few words, the bridal couple have asked that I request, for health and safety sake, that none of you get up onto the tables and chairs during my standing ovation, please …..…

Let me begin by thanking everyone, on behalf of Gareth and Tamar, for your presence, in both senses of the word. Thank you for choosing to be part of their special day and making it that bit more special. It's a wonderful feeling to look around and see our families and friends chating so freely together, as though there were something good to celebrate, and I feel a little humbled by it because it means that you approve of Gareth and Tamar being entrusted to each others care. It makes me think though Gareth, that if you let Tamar down in the future, you will be letting all of these special down too, so you can see how valuable your presence is everyone. Thank you.

Right, a few words about the man himself. However, before I do that I must emphasise that Gareth is a gifted liar and I would ask you to bear that in mind when considering anything his speech may allege about me………..… besides, I wasn't even there …… and the sheep concerned dropped the charges …… and whatever he's done with rubber chickens in the past ..… well frankly, that's his own business.

The lads and I are quite surprised that he ever got near making it to the venue today. He used to be so afraid of marriage that he wouldn't go out during leap year. He knew so little about the opposite sex that we decided to give him tuition. We started outside the toilets where they have a figure of a man on the one door and a woman on the other, and we made him play “ spot the difference” You have evidence today that that our efforts paid off. He has hit the jackpot. It used to be Gareth that was a little green and now it is us who are green with envy.

Now I can tell you that apart from what you see for yourselves about Gareth, his good looks, poise and charm, he's also the most kind, generous , noble, courageous and modest young gentleman that you could ever meet. I could go on and on in that vein, but then you'd think that I was indulging a little. But I wouldn't be because my folks have always said that Gareth takes after me …

To bring Tamar into this, after the ceremony I asked Gareth how he was coping. He said to me that he thought that he had prepared himself adequately for today, but nothing could have prepared him enough for when he saw Tamar walking down the aisle. To quote Gareth directly, “ Never have I seen her looking so beautiful. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I should be used to it by now because Tamar always dresses to kill, it's just unfortunate that she cooks the same way …

Apart from slating Gareth's and Tamar's characters, I wanted to say a word or two about Gareth and Tamar as a couple. Ever since day one, I think it's been clear that they were meant to be together. In Tamar, Gareth's found someone that is beautiful, intelligent and caring …… and in Gareth, Tamar has found …….well ……Gareth … !!

I believe it is customary to offer some wisdom on marriage. Without presuming to being qualified to give advice, I asked some people what they thought the ingredients were to a successful marriage, so here are a few ..…

Firstly, there is something that every man will have to learn to live with, because no man has yet found a remedy for it, and that is the unfathomable female mind. It can be summed up by one simple instance. A woman bought her husband two ties for his birthday, one red and one blue. He was undecided which one to wear at his party that evening, but he nevertheless appeared in the read one. As soon as his wife saw him she said , “Oh, you're wearing the red tie. Don't you like the blue one ..… ? Gareth, you can't win boet..

Secondally, never be afraid Gareth, that Tamar will leave you …… she has spent too much time and effort training you, and she is not going to throw that away lightly.

Finally, remember Gareth, that the best way to remember your anniversary, is to forget it, once.

I think it's time now for me to turn the tables on myself, because, if there is such a thing as the moment of truth, then we've all just witnessed it at today's ceremony. The union of Tamar and Gareth says too much about these two individuals for my snide remarks to have any effect..

There's not many MC's or best men for that matter who can describe both the bride and groom as a true friend, and in that, I think I am very lucky. You both bless and enrich all our lives more than you will ever know. Gareth, throughout the years you have proven to be the best brother a guy could hope for, and I know that you will prove to be an even better husband. We are honoured to be part of your day today, and even more excited to being part of your future as it unfolds for the both of you.
We love you, god bless you, and may the life ahead of you be all you have ever dreamed of.

Ladies and gents, I'd like to thank you all for attending once more, and making today even more special for the newly weds, and it is with great pleasure, that I ask you all to charge your glasses and be upstanding with me as I toast to the bride and groom …

“ May your joys be as deep as the ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam, cheers .… “

Speeches introduction :

Okay, that's about enough from me as it's now time for the main speeches. First up we will have the best man Craig, followed by Tamar and then the groom himself.

I recently read that public speaking was one of things that people fear the most, above things like spiders and heights. Now the speekers to follow are no different, suffice to say that this isn't going to be the first time today they have risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in their hands.

Craig, the floors yours ….