Speech by Campbell

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Campbell
Speech Date: 22/05/2014 08:42:33

Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't really do public speaking so I'm going to keep this very short. Thanks for coming, the bride looks great. Thank you! (sit down)

Now for the real one, and this isn't the first time today I have stood up from a warm seat clutching a pile of paper, but we won't go into that! You are about to witness a very unique moment in history. This is the first time that I have been allowed to speak on behalf of Fiona and I, it will also be the last!

So, lets get this out the way nice and early. On behalf of my new wife and I, thank you for coming to our wedding and for all the wonderful gifts we have received. We never expected to be so lucky. This speech will contain several thank you's and toasts so don't down your drink in 1 go at the first one…Cathy!

Firstly I need to thank Alan and Marilyn for the kind words and allowing me to marry your daughter. Without both of you none of this would of been possible. I promise I will love her and take care of her. Most of you will know that tomorrow is Alan and Marilyn's Ruby wedding anniversary. I'm hoping our marriage will still be as strong 40 years down the line as yours is today. Alan gave me some advice about how to keep a happy marriage going for all those years. When you are wrong, admit it and when you are right, keep quiet. As an only child and a mediocre cook I'm sure she will be returning on a regular basis for meals, especially when I'm at work and not there to cook for her. You have brought her up to be a polite, courteous and thoughtful girl, if not a little stubborn at times. A few more kitchen skills wouldn't of went a miss though. Fiona is still the only person I know that has nearly set her kitchen on fire by attempting to make toast in a microwave!

As this speech is on behalf of both of us, I also need to thank my parents, Nan and Drew, for bringing up such a handsome, good natured, easy going son (Fiona's words, not mine!) As the middle child I could easily of been forgotten about, but how could anyone forget about someone like me? They have both given me plenty of advice,whether it be on the latest Trespass jackets or how to play the “world famous” 4 iron from the side of the green or something more serious, and I have always taken it on board. They have always been there for not only me, but John and Carolyn and the grandchildren too. I must also thank John and Kathryn for being here today all the way from Australia.

As a token of our appreciation we have vases to present to our mothers. And since tomorrow is Mother's Day they might not stay empty for long. Our extended families have both been very welcoming to both of us as well, I know it must of been very difficult for a St. Mirren family to welcome a Morton fan into the fold but they all have.  Can I raise a toast to our parents and families.

I'm sure everyone here knows Fiona loves organising, and really does love a list. This is where I'm glad she chose the 2 bridesmaids she did, Nicola and Colette. They have been great friends to the pair of us for many years now and are definitely not scared to tell Fiona to keep her hair on when she starts stressing. I'm sure they would both agree with me and for this I thank you personally. Both of them have done a great job and look fantastic today. They also organised 2 great hen nights for her in Belfast and Glasgow. I'm sure a great time was had at both, although I suspect the food might of been dodgy at the Glasgow one going by the amount of spew stories I've been hearing. Isn't that right? Mum? Cathy? Fiona? Can I raise a toast to the bridesmaids

A rule of wedding etiquette is that no female should look better than the bride and no male better than the groom. I must thank my 3 ushers for sticking to this rule. Andrew, Craig and Bill (to give them their Sunday names!) have all been close friends since primary school. We have shared many days and nights, whether it be watching the football or on the golf course or just in the pub, and its always great banter. They have done a great job today making sure everybody was in the right place at the right time and for this I am very grateful, as it stopped Fiona worrying about it…a bit! Could I ask them to come forward to collect a gift on behalf of Fiona and I.

My best man tried his hardest to break this unwritten rule but no amount of hair product was going to do it for you today! Tommy has done a great job in every duty he has been given. He organised a great stag weekend in Hamburg, which I'm sure all the boys would agree with. From the Friday night pub golf to the Saturday butchers night where everyone was dressed as butchers except for me, who was dressed up in a pig onesie being led to the slaughter! It was a top weekend with a great bunch of guys. Everybody returned surprisingly fresh as well. A Sunday morning beer bike ride would do that for anyone! I could tell you a few stories about him but there wouldn't be mush room in this speech for them. He also has a few songs about him and I'm sure they will get an airing later! He does have a tendency to fabricate the truth though so don't pay too much attention to his stories in his speech. As everyone knows the Ryder Cup takes place at Gleneagles this year and a few of our friends were successful in getting tickets, but not Tommy. I was guaranteed a ticket as I will be volunteering at it so I couldn't think of a better way of saying thank you for everything he has done than to get him a ticket for the Friday matches. Could I ask him forward to collect a gift on behalf of us. Instead of a toast, can we raise a whaaayy to the boys. Whaaayyy!

Now I should talk about my beautiful new wife. They say you don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without. I think this sums us up perfectly. When i seen her walking down the aisle she took my breath away. I came prepared incase I done the same to her and brought her inhaler! We very rarely argue and usually these are over in minutes, usually as I either admit I'm wrong or just keep quiet (following your advice there Alan!). In the 6 years we have been together I believe we have helped change each other and make each other a better person. Could anyone here imagine Fiona attending T in the Park a few years ago? I managed to persuade her to go last year. Ok, we had to stay in a house, and it was the driest Summer, and she had to have plenty of hand gel, but every time she came out one of the portaloos I thought we were going home! As she is now officially a McKenzie, we look forward seeing her in the butchers this Christmas to help sell turkeys and steak pies. There's a coat with your name on it! Fiona is a keen amateur dramatist and today she definitely was the star of the show. She has put lots of work into making sure today was perfect and she has definitely done that, and more. Could you all please raise yourselves and your glasses to my new wife, Fiona.

Now I could stand here and bore you with stale old jokes and stories, but thats the best mans job so I'll pass you over to him now.

Thank You