Speech by Chris Livett

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Chris Livett
Speech Date: sep 2003
Thank you Gordon for your kind words.
The most popular after-dinner speech on record was made by a man dining with
his wife alone in the privacy of their home, and it consisted of one
sentence containing seven words of one syllable:
"You leave them, dear, I'll do them."
Mine will be a bit longer. As many of your will know I am normally a man of
very few words, who doesn't like to be the centre of attention.
Before I start I need to return something to one of our guests. Justine.
Here is your Garter. I think now is an appropriate time to return this. I
caught this at Andrew & Justine's wedding in Sep 2001. I have kept it for
good luck as I was supposed to. I haven't worn it honest. We are in fact
the next couple that you know to get married, is that right.
I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married
mans life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother in law and
not be interrupted…………………………….I may be here sometime
…………………

Planning a wedding is usually a stressful process, fraught with emotion.
Planning a wedding from a distance has been even more difficult. We would
like to thank you Margaret, Gordon, Dad & Jean for your support. (Bouquet
of flowers for both Mothers)

We have also had the support of two other people. My Best Man, who I would
incidentally like to thank for putting me in touch with my feminine side,
And also Lindsay's Bridesmaid, Jen.
Now choosing a Best Man is a difficult thing when you have many good
friends. You want someone dependable, reliable and supportive. I have known
Simon many years, and he has been a good friend, helping us both move into
our first house, and helping me home on numerous occasions in various states
of sobriety. But apart from that you want someone who can drink you under
the table so that he can get you home after the stag night.
Then there's Jen, the lovely bridesmaid. I have known Jen for almost as
long as Lindsay. Thank you for getting Lind's to Church and hiding her
running shoes. I hope you don't mind Jen but I have in my possession an
envelope with a time that I think you will come up to me in your usual
slurring way and say, "l Love You". I will be starting a book if anyone
else wants in.
So for my first Toast, "The Bridesmaid"

There are a few other people to thank. You. We have both been overwhelmed
that so many have travelled so far for our day and the present you have
bought. It was our first intention when we set the date last year, to have
a small affair. But when Lindsay and I sat down to put together the guest
list, there were so many people that have meant a lot to us while we have
been together. Were so glad you could all be here.

(Raise glass)

In fact without Margaret, my Auntie, none of you would be here. Margaret
put a great deal of time and effort into making by hand all our invitations
and Orders of Service. As an appreciation of our thanks we have got a little
something for you. Thank you. (Flowers for Margaret)

Unfortunately, not everyone that we would have liked to be here could make
it. Some for personal reasons, some for health reasons and some because they
are no longer with us. We know that they have been thinking of us and
looking down on us, as today has been wonderful. With those in mind, I would
like to make the toast……….… to Friends & Family.

Now to Lindsay, my wife. I like the sound that. My wife. Today is
actually the anniversary of our first encounter. 6 years ago today, Lindsay
uttered her first sweet nothings to me. She said, "If you shifted your
arse, my mates could sit down"

It certainly wasn't the worst thing she has ever said to me in 6 years. But
it made an impression. If it hadn't been for that, and the fact there
weren't any anti-stalking laws then, another story, we wouldn't be together
now. In fact I soon learnt the lesson, ‘Apologise to a man if you're wrong,
but to a woman even if you're right.’ & a little hoovering goes a long way.

You look so beautiful today. I can't imagine being any happier than I am
today having you as my wife, and knowing that you will be the first and last
face I see every day.

My last toast is to us both.

‘Here's to my mother-in-law's daughter,
here's to her father-in-law's son;
here's to the vows we've just taken
and the life we've just begun.’

To us.

George Eliot was quoted as saying ‘Blessed is the man who, having nothing
to say abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.’ With that in
mind, I'll take my seat.