Speech by Colin J Marr

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Colin J Marr
Speech Date: oct 2004
Ladies & Gentlemen,
I'd like to start by thanking you all on behalf of my wife and I, for sharing our special day. Thank you all for your kind wishes, cards and presents. Susan and I have been worrying about this day for weeks and it means a great deal to us that you have all managed to make it, especially those of you have travelled from other continents to be here today, and no Garry, Bankfield Park doesn't count! We hope you are all having a great time and continue too.
Most couples on their wedding day describe it as the happiest day of their
lives. That worries me because it implies that as from tomorrow there's a
lifelong decline ahead, so believe you me I am going to be making the most
of today. However, I must say that today I'm so happy that even days less
happy could still be blissful.
I did have a great speech worked out for you, but as I am now married, my
wife has told me what to say instead. Fortunately, that means that today I'm not going to stand here and give you a load of stale old jokes, I'm going to leave that to my best man, Chris. Just under 2 years ago I was best man at Chris's wedding, and it has to be said that I thought that was the most terrifying experience of my life.
Yet, I now feel as though I've moved from the witness box to the dock…
And therefore, with that thought fresh in my mind, I would like to start the thanks with you, Chris.
Thank you for agreeing to be my best man. I've known Chris for a lot of
years now, and he has been and will continue to be a great friend. Knowing
him so well, I know that he will be extremely nervous about his speech right now, so much so that I'm sure it will not be the first time today that you've stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in your hand. But don't worry mate, I've seen you make a fool of yourself in front of a crowd every Friday / Saturday night for umpteen years, so just imagine you're in the pub. But the kind of pub where you keep your trousers / kilt ON.
We'd like to say a big thank you to Steve and Margaret for making this day possible. Without their help and support, none of us would be here today. I have to thank them both for bringing up such a beautiful and intelligent daughter, I'll leave you to argue over which trait comes from who. Thank you to you both for making me so welcome in your family. You see Steve has written out a receipt for me, it says:
Received one daughter in perfect condition, fully guaranteed, fully
warranted. Comes complete with all extras.
Warning: has tendency to get irritable if doesn't have final say on
EVERYTHING
Care notes: gets bored easily, keep busy with constant supply of chores.
But not to be outdone my mum has a receipt for Susan, it says:
Received one son, sold as seen, no refunds under any circumstances. I've
re-decorated the room and changed the locks so you're stuck with him.
Warning: the slight discolouration is dirt, which may come off with vigorous scrubbing. But don't count on it as it's been there that long.
Care Notes: de-hydrates easily, top up regularly with beer. Thanks mum!
As many of you will know my dad passed away 5 years ago and therefore I would like to thank my mum and my late dad for all the love, help, guidance and support, not to mention the beers tokens sorry I mean financial support that they have offered me throughout my life and also with Susan. I know that my dad would have liked Susan and I believe that he has been with us in spirit on our big day.
Thanks to you all.…
I would also like to thank the bridesmaids, Mandy & Jan, I am sure that you will all agree that they both look lovely today and have carried out their duties perfectly.
Ladies and Gentleman, please be upstanding, I would like to propose a
toast… to the bridesmaids.
I would like to thank our flower girl, Kerri, our two page boys, Callum & Gregor and the two usher, Russell, who I glad to say returned safely from Chile even if his luggage didn't and Ian.
The one person in the room to which I owe the most thanks, is Susan, my wife. I still can't believe that such a wonderful woman chose to marry me. She looks absolutely stunning today, as I'm sure you'll agree.
So, to my wife, my bride and joy – thank-you for everything you have done and for making me the happiest man alive. You know everything about me and love me just the same, I have my faults, yet you still agreed to marry me. I am extremely lucky today to be the one to marry you – and I hope this is the start of many happy years together.