Speech by Danny H

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Danny H
Speech Date: 07/09/2010 20:13:23

It's now time for the bridegroom's speech,

It's the part of the day I have dreaded,

but tradition says that I have to do it,

It's the price that you pay to get wedded.

Conventional speeches are boring,

I can't think of much that is worse,

So I've decided to flout convention,

And deliver this speech all in verse.

To assist you in keeping awake,

And staying quite fully alert,

I intend this speech to resemble,

An extremely short mini-skirt.

Just long enough to cover,

The things that I'd like revealing,

But short enough to keep your attention,

Because it's awfully appealing.

I'll keep this speech very short,

And I trust you'll find I'm not wrong,

As King Henry VIII said to his wives,

I shall not be keeping you long.

Well the wait to get wed is now over,

Our day has arrived at long last,

The planning is finished – it all went OK,

But how did the time go so fast??

All you guests who have so kindly gathered,

To witness the events of today,

And I find myself feeling quite nervous,

About making a speech in this way.

My nerves have been jangling all morning,

My stomache's been churning away,

Because making a speech in public,

Is not something I do every day.

It's not the first time today I assure you,

That I've needed to rise from my seat,

With some sheets of paper in my hand,

And a feeling that all's not complete.

My task is now to express our thanks,

On behalf of myself and my wife,

And the biggest thanks are due to you all,

For sharing this day in our life.

With special thanks to those friends,

Who've come here from so far away,

We are delighted to have you here with us,

It has really made our big day.

A conventional bridegrooms speech,

Would now thank our parents and best man,

And since this speech still has a way to go,

I will continue as best as I can.

From childhood to adulthood and all of my days,

Mum and dad have stood by my side,

Im so happy they're beside me again today,

Me and my beautiful bride,

But thick ears they've given me plenty,

And the odd rocket where the sun dont shine,

But I wouldnt change them for all the world,

I'm so proud and grateful that they're mine.

Now I wish to thank Mark,

My best man and friend for 30 plus years,

I'm not sure WHERE to start with him,

Many nights out we've shared and god knows how many beers.

I COULD stand up here and talk about police,

Amsterdam, night clubs or girls,

But I think I'll leave those stories ’till later,

After we discover what HIS speech unfurls.

With the formal ceremony now complete,

At last we are husband and wife,

To love and cherish but NOT to obey,

Each day for the rest of our life.

You can't imagine how happy it's made me,

It is truly a wonderful thing,

And I'm feeling oh so very proud,

To be wearing my new wedding ring.

I'm told that a secret of marriage,

And for us men a good rule of thumb,

Is whenever you're wrong just admit it,

And on those times your right just stay Shtum.

All the photos being taken today,

I am finding a bit of a strain,

It's tough when you're getting wrinkly like me,

To keep smiling again and again.

But the photos will help us remember,

All you friends who gave up your time,

To spend this wedding day with us,

And be subjected to this god-awful rhyme.

I think that Nikki looks stunning,

And the bridesmaids look fabulous too,

They make me feel quite under dressed,

Even though this suit is brand new.

Nikki arranged all the bouquets,

And planned how the ladies be dressed,

I have to admit it was worth it,

And I trust that like me, you're impressed.

I guess that you all know our history,

And the unusual way that we met,

At a Butlins camp down in Bognor,

So as you can imagine, it was rainy and wet.

We then exchanged some phone texts,

But quickly got frustrated by that,

So we decided to jump in the deep end,

And we met for a meal and a chat.

But I honestly never expected,

Such a major change in my life,

And that a few years and months later,

That Nikki would be my new wife.

To me Nikki is beautiful,

She's understanding, gentle and smart,

With a lovely sweet caring nature,

That truly touches your heart.

She's all that a man could wish for,

A partner that's truly exciting,

I could go on and on with such plaudits,

But I'm actually struggling to read her writing.

Joking apart – on a serious note,

I have meant every last word,

And I'm now going to repeat it all,

To make sure that everyone heard.

To me Nikki is beautiful,She's understanding,gentle and smart,

With a lovely sweet caring nature,

That truly touches my heart.

She's all that I could wish for,

A partner that's truly exciting,

These are not Nikki's words they're mine now,

And this is definitely my hand writing.

So now that I've made it quite clear,

That my words were exactly what I meant,

It's time for the toast – so please be upstanding,

All of you good ladies and gents.

PEOPLE STAND

Now I trust that my lovely Nikki,

Will not feel uncomfortable or coy,

When we all drink a toast together,

TO NIKKI – MY NEW BRIDE AND MY JOY.

THE TOAST

Now, It's not just a wife that I've gained,

but a loving family for free,

And I am truly grateful for the way,

Jim and Michelle have warmly welcomed me.

Even though there are some big differences,

Not least of all on the football pitch,

On Jim and Michelle we can rely for support,

If only from Arsenal I could get them to switch.

We deferred the date of this wedding,

Until a football free day of the season,

When Tottenham Hotspur weren't playing,

And it was done for a jolly good reason.

Just imagine the gnashing of teeth,

If Spurs were at White Hart Lane today,

So we decided to avoid any conflict,

With no games either at Home or Away.

NOW, Thanks also are due to this Club and the staff,

For the excellent service today,

They've helped the day go so smoothly,

And they kept all the gremlins away.

Thank you all for making this day,

One we will surely remember,

It was last September we got engaged,

And we've been planning this day since December.

But the work and planning were all worth it,

And the pleasure has been extensive,

May our future days be as happy as this,

But hopefully a tad less expensive!

Now that the wedding is over,

We should be going away for a week,

Maybe to the island of Majorca,

For some sun and relaxation to seek.

We will remember this day with affection,

A great pleasure it will be to recall,

It means so much for us to share it with you,

SO, THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS ONE AND ALL.