Speech by Dave Byrne

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Dave Byrne
Speech Date: Jul2007
Well, thank you Gordon for your kind words, and obviously thanks to Mary for writing them.

As most of you know, I'm quite a shy person, so I prepared a few lines……………….but having snorted them I feel absolutely fine.

So, good afternoon everyone, I would just like to say on behalf of my absolutely stunning wife and I……..that we are delighted that everyone could make it out here to share in our special day.

When myself and the new Mrs Bryne pause were doing the guest list, I was thinking to myself – there is no way any of these jokers are going to knock back a free meal. And, 8 weeks later, here we all are.

I actually get the easy job. I get to stand up and thank everyone and say how great everyone looks, and if you have a look around this top table –you will all agree that this is going to be a very easy job. However, don't quote me, but we had a wedding rehearsal last Sunday and I'm pretty sure Fr Gerry wore exactly the same shirt and tie combo. PAUSE.
Personally, if it was my wee brother's wedding, I would have made the effort.

In true wedding tradition, my first thanks will be to all who have travelled far to share in our special day. Firstly to John and Caroline who have come from sunny Milton Keynes via Canada, I believe, and also a big thanks to Kevin and Lee who have travelled up from Southampton, and who can forget George and Sinead, who have come all the way from Tollcross. For anyone who doesn't know George, anything out of the city centre boundary is ‘a wee bit oot his road’.

Also, a big thanks to Andy Clark for coming out here on his bday. It's actually Andy's 30th today – so a big happy birthday to him. wait for Andys reaction as hes only 28 Im sure he isn't too happy about heading out on his birthday, but I'm sure Kirsty is thinking, jackpot – I don't need to take him out for dinner.

So, onto the story of how we met.

For those of you who don't know it, myself and Suzanne's 10 year anniversary was yesterday. ……………PAUSE………..I've never really been one for urgency. I didn't start walking until I was about one and a half………I knew perfectly well how to, I just couldn't be bothered.

Our first date was in Whiskey Joe's boozer in Clydebank, followed by the very classy Irish night in the Maltings in Duntocher.

Yes, romance is indeed, not dead.

Obviously, I had a couple of pints so the finer details are a bit hazy, but being the Irish night – there is a high possibility our 1st kiss was to the fields of Athenry. Although I daresay Suzanne's version of the story is slightly different.

We actually met through a band that Suzanne was singing in at the time, and I was asked to join on guitar. The band turned out to be utter garbage *turn to Suzanne – ‘nae offence hen, you were quality’, but I managed to leave the band taking the best thing about it with me. PAUSE. I'm talking about Suzanne, just in case no-one got that reference there………

I really do love her with all my heart, and she is the most important person in my life. In the weeks coming up to a wedding you are always asked the same question ‘are you nervous?’. I can honestly say absolutely not, as I have been looking forward to marrying Suzanne for a very long time now, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.

Suzanne has also done a tremendous job in organising today's events and everything about the day so far has been absolutely perfect, and it literally is all down to her. Not to say she was the only one involved in the wedding plans, I also think I have done a great job nodding a smiling for the last year and a half. So, a big thanks to me for that.

The classic line is that you don't marry someone who you can live with, it's who you cant live without, and for me that sums it up perfectly. And thankyou very much to www.hitched.co.uk for providing me with that line.

So, in slightly breaking with tradition – my first toast of the day, please raise your glasses, to my stunning wife Suzanne.

So, that's the hard one out the road, so I'm semi relaxed already. Onto the easy ones.

Parents.
So, first of all a big thank you to my parents Pat and Annette for bringing up a sensible, balanced young man, and a thanks to Gordon and Mary doll for achieving the exact opposite with Suzanne. A huge thanks for the contribution they have given to this wedding, and I don't just mean financially. As some of you will know, it is a very stressful time planning a wedding so Suzanne has told me, and both sets of parents have both been there in offering emotional support as well. So a big thank`you to them. PAUSE. Obviously, you can't buy a plasma telly with a hug………………….so I'm a big fan of the financial, myself…….…

Also, thanks for helping us decorate the flat, it has been a long job but we finally have it done. A special mention must go to Pat for not painting the couch. That was an added bonus. We actually got a wee cheap couch in before the proper one, just in case. And, again a special mention to Gordon for attempting to fit all the dimmer switches. Apparently it's the thought that counts……………..as they say, if you want a job doing right…………

So, I will now ask my glamorous assistant Suzanne to hand out some gifts to the parents.

Ushers.

A big thanks to Paul and Paul for being the ushers today and doing such a great job – especially the way they searched handbags and frisked pockets on the way into church with such discretion. Thanks to you both for doing the readings today as well guys – a job well done. Reading out something in public, that someone else wrote for you – I wonder what that is like……………***turn to Suzanne.

Offertory processors.
I have to say thank you to our 2 young offertory processors as well. I phone up my nana and papa the other week to ask them if they wanted to do the offertory. They started getting a wee bit emotional and I thought they were going to start greeting. For those of you that know me quite well, me and awkward silences don't really go very well together – and I'm not sure how my comment of ‘remember, that means you both cannae fall’ went down. Either way, they both turned up and did a grand job.

Priest.
A big thank you to Fr Gerry for celebrating the mass with us today, and a big thanks for not adding in any Gregorian chant. Normally when your brother marries you its considered incest pause………… but today it seemed appropriate. Seriously though, it really was a lovely service and thank you very much for marrying us, and I stayed awake the whole time, so it was a big improvement on your ordination……

Musicians
I'm sure you will all agree that the music was absolutely fantastic during the service. People don't realise the importance of the music during the service until they hear how it should be done and I didn't doubt they would perform on the day. They put a great deal of work into it and that we both really appreciated. Well done guys and thank you so much for doing it.

Bridesmaids
Onto the bridesmaids. Some of you are thinking, ‘excellent, that means he's almost done – Ahm pure starving’. I say ‘everyone’, I mean John.

One of the easiest duties I have is to say how good these girls look. Louise my new sister and Marie, you both look amazing – and I'm sure everyone will agree. Yes? Excellent, that could have turned awkward.

They have both did a great job and keeping Suzanne calm and stress free today………..aye, cracking job ladies. Only kidding, you have done a great job today and although Suzanne got to pick the bridesmaids, there isn't 2 other people in the world that I want doing it. So, I will ask everyone to stand up and raise your glasses………..to the bridesmaids.

On another note, it is also the 1st time Marie has turned up for a night out, seen another girl wear the same dress as her, and not bitched about her for the remainder of the evening. I'm sure you will all agree, she has made fantastic progress today.

A big final thankyou to everyone who has given us gifts – we have been absolutely overwhelmed with what we have received and we thank everyone so much.

Well, I'm actually beginning to bore masel’ here, so I'll need to pass over to the best man. When I met John about 13 years ago, he was an immature wee boy who was a big fan of schoolboy humour. 13 years on, it is very refreshing to see that he is…………….an immature wee boy who is a big fan of schoolboy humour. He did a great job in organising the stag do, and I'm sure all the boys will agree. I just really hope he has washed that jinky top he wore for the entire weekend.

On a more serious note, I should mention that John suffers from a rare medical condition which, makes him prone to embellishment. He often invents the most bizarre stories, which he sincerely believes to be true. I hope you bear this in mind when he stands up to speak now.

So, without further ado, I give you John Paul William, my best man.