Speech by David Greenwood

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: David Greenwood
Speech Date: Aug2005
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. You are all about to witness a unique event in history – the 1st and last time that my “Wife” is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us!

So, finally, Nic's inherited the initials I believe she was always destined to have……N.A.G! You didn't really think I wasn't going to point that out did you?!

July 16th is actually a very historic day. On this day in 1969, Apollo 11, the 1st manned moon landing was launched. And on this day in 2005, you attended this wedding reception and heard the finest wedding speech of your entire lifetime….that will come a little later from my best man!

Anyway, on behalf of my beautiful wife and I, I'd like to start by thanking everyone here for sharing our very special day with us. It would have been a damn site cheaper if you hadn't come…..but it wouldn't have been as good either. I know some of you have travelled long distances to get here and the effort you have made is very much appreciated. We'd also like to thank you all for the lovely cards and gifts….oh, and no doubt the 1000’s of pounds worth of holiday vouchers you've no doubt kindly donated!

We'd also like to thank the Ushers – Ian, Dave, Craig and Grandad for doing absolutely nothing! Only joking guys, thanks for all your help today. Special thanks also go to Kathy and Claire for their superb jobs with the readings. I know Claire was really nervous about doing a reading, but I can guarantee that she wasn't half as nervous as my Best Man is right now! Are you alright John?! The toilets just through there if you need it! Don't feel sorry for him, I had to go through all this when he got married 5 years ago! We'd also like to thank Melissa, Hoghton Tower's wedding co-ordinator – she's given us some great advice and helped to ensure the day runs as smoothly as possible.

My own personal first thank you goes to my wife….my “bride and joy” (do you see what I did there?!) Firstly, thanks for all your efforts co-ordinating our big day. The way you delegated all the work to me was just fantastic! Seriously though, thank you for all the time and effort you've put in to making sure today was a major success. Your creativity, attention to detail and preparation was outstanding and you should take all the credit for what has been an incredible day. I'd also like to thank you for agreeing to spend the rest of your life with me – it truly is an honour. I feel so lucky to have married someone who's intelligent, good-looking, has a great sense of humour and….sorry darling, I can't read your writing – what does that say?! Seriously though, I have so much to thank you for – namely for making me the happiest and proudest man in the world today! I feel blessed to be able to spend the rest of my life with someone who puts a smile on my face every single day. You look amazing today – but then in my eyes you look amazing every day. Not just because of how gorgeous you are but because of this constant “glow” you seem to carry with you wherever you go. You have this incredible ability to light up any room. You bring happiness to all that you come in to contact with and there is no sweeter site in my eyes than to see that smile on your face. There is no doubt about it; I'm officially the luckiest man in the world and I promise you I will do everything humanly possible to keep you safe and happy at all times.

I thought I had prepared myself quite well for today but nothing could have prepared me for when I saw Nic walk down the aisle. I've never seen her looking so beautiful. I really was overwhelmed. In fact, I can honestly say it is the single most beautiful sight I have ever seen….well, after that wonderful free kick Beckham scored against Greece that is! Mind you, I should be used to how good Nic looks – she always dresses to kill….it's just a shame she cooks the same way too!

As most of you will know by now, Nic and I met on a speed-dating event nearly 2 years ago. For anyone that's not familiar with the set-up, you spend 3 minutes with 30 people of the opposite sex in the hope to find a connection. They say it only takes 7 seconds to make a 1st impression of someone so I spent the remaining 2 minutes and 53 seconds thinking, how on earth can I shut this woman up!

For our 1st proper date we arranged to meet up halfway between our 2 houses at a pub just off Junction 22 of the M6. I actually turned up 2 minutes late and was convinced she was going to get her revenge today by turning up late for the wedding – so another thank you is due for keeping my sanity intact! We walked into the pub and within literally 10 minutes I knew we had something special. I say “I” cos we spoke about this a few weeks later and it took Nic 2 whole dates to get to that point. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that though, she always has been a bit slower on the up-take than me! In true Nic style she played it very cool on the night and left me convinced that I would never see her again. But within weeks we were talking about marriage and within months we were engaged. A lot of people naturally thought we were rushing into things but we didn't care, it just felt right so we went for it. And here we are now, hopefully showing everyone that we're as perfect a match as we always knew we were.

As most of you will know, Nic was born in 1974. Well I thought I'd do some research to find out what special events occurred in that year. Now it turns out it was actually the year Gillette invented the disposable plastic razor. Quite ironic then that Nic still isn't aware that they were ever invented and continues to ruin my precious Mach 3 Turbo's!!

When we were choosing the venue for our reception, Hoghton Tower was the 1st place we looked at. As soon as we walked in we knew instantly that this is where we wanted to have it…well I say "we", "I" knew straight away – it took Nic a couple of days – but again, cos she's slower on the uptake than me though!. I'm sure you'll all agree it's a beautiful place. As you can imagine with a building this old, it carries a lot of history. It was built in the 1500’s and over the years has entertained many distinguished guests including King James 1st, George 5th and the Duke of Edinburgh…and funnily enough, if you go in the bogs now you'll find a really big Richard the 3rd!

My next thank you goes to my Mum. Thank you for everything that you have given me during my life. I know it wasn't easy raising two troublesome sons on your own but you did a fantastic job nonetheless.

On that point I'd also like to thank Harry for all the support he's given to Mum over the last 20 plus years. I'm sure it wasn't easy taking on Paul and I, and you must have really loved Mum to put yourself through that!

Thanks Mum for bringing me up the way you have, for all of your encouragement and support. But most of all thank you for instilling in me whatever it is that convinced Nic that she wanted to marry me; on that score alone, I think you can be justifiably proud of yourself: I am certainly proud to have you as my Mum. When I used to receive gifts at Christmas and on my Birthday my Mum always used to say to me “you know what your problem is David, you're never satisfied” which I suppose is true because I always want the best of everything. There is however one person who's given me a gift that will never be topped, and that's Rob. Letting me take his daughter off his hands….I mean letting me have his daughter's hand in marriage…..is the best gift ever. Although I'm not sure he sees it that way cos he seems reluctant to give me a receipt!

And on that note I'd like to thank both Rob and Ange for raising such an incredible daughter. I thank them both for bringing such a beautiful and intelligent daughter into the world…I'll leave you to argue over which trait comes from who. I'd also like to thank you both for making me so welcome into your family. I hope I can be everything you want from a son-in-law and I promise you both I will look after Nic………………and of course do everything she tells me to!

At this point I would like to give a gift to both of our Mum's. Tradition says we should give flowers, but Nic and I wanted to give you something more permanent – so we're getting each of you a tattoo! Only kidding, these are just a small token of our thanks for always being there

Rob, I'd like to thank you for giving your daughter away. I'm sure it was a very difficult thing to do – I have no idea why you were practically pushing her down the aisle! But I promise you I'll take good care of her and make her very happy.

This speech wouldn't be complete without saying a few words on my Grandad. Quite ironic really that saying a few words is something he is completely incapable of! If you've ever heard a story from my Grandad you'll know that they never actually have any end, in fact they just go on and on and on….… I did actually think about letting him say a few words today but had I done that, not only would he have completely embarrassed me with the story of coming out of some restaurant toilets when I was 4 with my pants around my ankles shouting “Grandad, there's no toilet paper!” (damn, I've just told you that now anyway!) but we'd have also ended up missing our flight…..which isn't until tomorrow evening! Seriously though Grandad, thank you. Not just for being a brilliant Grandad but also for being a great friend. Some of your stories will stick in my mind for ever – some more than others – the guys that came on the stag do will know which ones I'm talking about!

I'd now like to thank the 2 people who are responsible for Nic and I meeting – I say 2 people because they both insist on taking the credit for putting the idea of speed dating to Nic! The 1st is Julie who's also done a great job as bridesmaid today and the other is one of her work colleagues, Tom, who wasn't important enough to invite…..so, actually, Julie, you can take all the credit and as a token of my appreciation I've got a little something for you if you'd like to come up and collect it (Round of applause for Julie please!)

We'd like to thank the bridesmaids Julie and Hayley for their help and support and I'm sure you'll all agree, they both look beautiful today. Can I now please ask you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to the bridesmaids. We also have some gifts for the bridesmaids if you'd like to come up and get them.

And now, I'd like to introduce you all to my best man, John. As some of you will know, I had the honour of being John's Best Man a few years ago, and needless to say I ripped him to pieces. I've never admitted this before, but my speech consisted of endless fabricated stories and was a complete pack of lies. I'd ask you all to please bear this in mind when he regales all his hilarious tales to you and no doubt has you all rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter – again, no pressure John! Can I please now ask you all to give a warm welcome to my best man and best friend, John Hinchliffe…………….