Speech by David Seccombe

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: David Seccombe
Speech Date: Jan2007

Well , what can I say, Thankyou for those kind words JEFF and I hope 㿀 was enough.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history. This is the very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us.

I did have a great speech worked out for you, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead.

I recently read somewhere that a survey had been conducted
of things that people fear most, and top of the list above things like spiders and heights, was the fear of standing up and making a speech in public.

I'm no different, suffice to say that this isn't the first time today I've risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. , thankfully this time it was less painful.

Its great to see you all and I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you. It would also have been a lot cheaper without you, but that's beside the point.

I was going to create a poem for today describing all the loves of my life so everybody would know how truly happy I am but unfortunately I couldn't get lisa, Newbiggin golf club & stella to rhyme!

I hope you all agree what a great day its been so far, fantastic to see so many of you, all looking so well. Thank you to everyone for coming to our wedding, some of you have had to travel from the other end of the country You will notice that the wine today is served in bottles rather than carafes, we thought it was best served this way, as present today is a light fingered bald chap from Essex, ask him about it!!!

Tradition dictates that I now tell you an amusing story or two about Lisa unfortunately she dictates that I do no such thing. But I will say, that we've been living together now for 3 years, and in that time I've learned a very valuable lesson:

Whenever you're Wrong – Admit It!!
Whenever you're right – Keep Quiet!!
That's probably good advice for most men actually!!!

Many people thought this day would never come. That I'd be standing here making the speech of a Newly Married man, myself included.
Many people have also told me how lucky I am to be marrying Lisa, including Lisa in fact.

The one person in this room to which I owe the most thanks is Lisa, my wife. She almost single handedly organised today and she was worried about whether or not everything would fall into place. I just hope it's turned into the kind of day you were dreaming about. I am sure you will all agree how stunning she looks today. I can honestly say I was overwhelmed when Lisa walked through those doors today, and I would like everyone here today to know how happy I feel that Lisa agreed to be my wife. She is beautiful, intelligent, charming, caring, sophisticated – the list is endless but unfortunately I can't read the rest of her writing!! But seriously though, I would just like to say thank you for marrying me, making me very happy and for loving me as much as I love you.
Right, that's the crap out the way…

I know this is meant to be our day, but of course it wouldn't be as special a day if it wasn't for our family and friends being here with us, and I'm sure you'll all agree that we found the ideal setting for this memorable occasion.

We would also like to thank you all for your cards, kind thoughts and wonderful gifts.

we'd would both like to say a massive thankyou to our parents, for everything they have given us, including finances for todays activities and for bringing us up the way they did.

Lisa is especially grateful for this as she much prefers that I
do the ironing.

Most couples on their wedding day describe it as the happiest day of their lives. That worries me a bit because it implies that as from tomorrow there's a lifelong decline ahead, so I'm making the most of today.

A big thankyou goes to our bridesmaids, Andrea, Lyndsey, Alison & hannah we would like to say how lovely you look and thank you to you all for doing such a wonderful job today.

I want to say a thank-you to Kieran, Alex and Liam for being our pageboys and being so well behaved today. Also thanks to martin, nicky, ben willy grant & simon for agreeing to be our Ushers and in doing such a great job for us today. Although “You'll sit where you're bloody well told” wasn't the sort of comment I had in mind when I asked you to do it. I got told there is an unwritten wedding rule that no one is allowed to look more handsome than the groom. Thanks for sticking by it lads, I'll get you a baby sham later.

I also feel I should thank all of the lads who came on my stag weekend to Amsterdam , I'm told we had a great time, although I'm not sure I'd have agreed with that statement last Saturday. Some enjoyed themselves more than others but the less said about that the better, eh martin!!!!
I'd like to thank john for agreeing to be my Best Man. I've known john for 15 years and in that time he has proven to be and I hope will continue to be a great friend.

But of course that could all change in the next few minutes when HE starts speaking.

I can imagine that JOHn is getting impatient to make his speech .… Now….many people don't know that john suffers from a rare medical condition which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true and I thank you for humouring him during his speech.

Well , what can I say, Thankyou for those kind words JEFF and I hope 㿀 was enough.

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history. This is the very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us.

I did have a great speech worked out for you, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead.

I recently read somewhere that a survey had been conducted of things that people fear most, and top of the list above things like spiders and heights, was the fear of standing up and making a speech in public.

I'm no different, suffice to say that this isn't the first time today I've risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. , thankfully this time it was less painful.

Its great to see you all and I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you. It would also have been a lot cheaper without you, but that's beside the point.

I was going to create a poem for today describing all the loves of my life so everybody would know how truly happy I am but unfortunately I couldn't get lisa, Newbiggin golf club & stella to rhyme!

I hope you all agree what a great day its been so far, fantastic to see so many of you, all looking so well. Thank you to everyone for coming to our wedding, some of you have had to travel from the other end of the country You will notice that the wine today is served in bottles rather than carafes, we thought it was best served this way, as present today is a light fingered bald chap from Essex, ask him about it!!!

Tradition dictates that I now tell you an amusing story or two about Lisa unfortunately she dictates that I do no such thing. But I will say, that we've been living together now for 3 years, and in that time I've learned a very valuable lesson:

Whenever you're Wrong – Admit It!!
Whenever you're right – Keep Quiet!!
That's probably good advice for most men actually!!!

Many people thought this day would never come. That I'd be standing here making the speech of a Newly Married man, myself included.

Many people have also told me how lucky I am to be marrying Lisa, including Lisa in fact.

The one person in this room to which I owe the most thanks is Lisa, my wife. She almost single handedly organised today and she was worried about whether or not everything would fall into place. I just hope it's turned into the kind of day you were dreaming about. I am sure you will all agree how stunning she looks today. I can honestly say I was overwhelmed when Lisa walked through those doors today, and I would like everyone here today to know how happy I feel that Lisa agreed to be my wife. She is beautiful, intelligent, charming, caring, sophisticated – the list is endless but unfortunately I can't read the rest of her writing!! But seriously though, I would just like to say thank you for marrying me, making me very happy and for loving me as much as I love you.
Right, that's the crap out the way…

I know this is meant to be our day, but of course it wouldn't be as special a day if it wasn't for our family and friends being here with us, and I'm sure you'll all agree that we found the ideal setting for this memorable occasion.

We would also like to thank you all for your cards, kind thoughts and wonderful gifts.

We would both like to say a massive thankyou to our parents, for everything they have given us, including finances for todays activities and for bringing us up the way they did.

Lisa is especially grateful for this as she much prefers that I do the ironing.

Most couples on their wedding day describe it as the happiest day of their lives. That worries me a bit because it implies that as from tomorrow there's a lifelong decline ahead, so I'm making the most of today.

A big thankyou goes to our bridesmaids, Andrea, Lyndsey, Alison & hannah we would like to say how lovely you look and thank you to you all for doing such a wonderful job today.

I want to say a thank-you to Kieran, Alex and Liam for being our pageboys and being so well behaved today. Also thanks to martin, nicky, ben willy grant & simon for agreeing to be our Ushers and in doing such a great job for us today. Although “You'll sit where you're bloody well told” wasn't the sort of comment I had in mind when I asked you to do it. I got told there is an unwritten wedding rule that no one is allowed to look more handsome than the groom. Thanks for sticking by it lads, I'll get you a baby sham later.

I also feel I should thank all of the lads who came on my stag weekend to Amsterdam , I'm told we had a great time, although I'm not sure I'd have agreed with that statement last Saturday. Some enjoyed themselves more than others but the less said about that the better, eh martin!!!!

I'd like to thank john for agreeing to be my Best Man. I've known john for 15 years and in that time he has proven to be and I hope will continue to be a great friend.

But of course that could all change in the next few minutes when HE starts speaking.

I can imagine that JOHn is getting impatient to make his speech .… Now….many people don't know that john suffers from a rare medical condition which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true and I thank you for humouring him during his speech.

I would like to end with a few suggestions to LISA for our future life together. These are taken from the book “The differences between man and wife”:

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up – you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar and remind us frequently beforehand BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.

To finish off, I must say – isn't it funny how history repeats itself? 30 years ago jeff and brenda were putting lisa to bed with a dummy – and now it's happening all over again!

Ladies and Gentleman, please be upstanding, I would like to propose a toast… to the bridesmaids.