Speech by Graham Scott

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Graham Scott
Speech Date: Oct 2001
Richard.., thank you very much for those kind words… I've been told that
you should be able to find some solace in the thought that you're not so
much losing a daughter as re-gaining a telephone.

I would like firstly to break with tradition and say something to my
beautiful bride.., (and I would ask that any Burns aficionados present
forgive my paraphrasing) This was written a little over two hundred years ago in the next town to my hometown, Troon…

"…As fair art thou my bonnie lass,
So deep in love am I,
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till all the seas gang dry…
…’Till all the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt with the sun,
And I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands of life shall run…"

Now then.., tradition dictates that I tell a story or two about Julia now…

Unfortunately Julia dictates that I do no such thing.., which is a pity..,
given the amount of material available… Most of you will know Julia as
somewhat accident prone.

I had actually thought of recounting the tale of when Julia first met my Mum & Dad and she managed to get her bottom stuck in the door of my Dad's Jeep. Then, I thought about the story where Julia mistook Super-glue for eyewash and managed to glue her eye shut whilst standing in just her underwear in the changing room of our local gym.

But, I think my own personal favourite was when we were on holiday in
Florence: Julia had gone off to wash her hair and after a wee while I could
hear sounds of general disgruntlement coming from the bathroom & then her
shouting "This shampoo of your is rubbish… I knew I should have brought my own..! It's made my hair all dry and sticky.:!" – My Gillette Shaving
Gel…!! So, after Julia had finished washing her hair with my Shaving Gel we went out and bought pretty much every bottle of Conditioner in Northern Italy in an attempt to save her hair before it all dissolved…!?!

(There's a really good story about Julia trying to buy a knitted
Willy-Warmer from a kilt shop in Glasgow…but I digress… I had told her
it would be just the thing for those frosty winter months – she's very
trusting… bless her heart…)

Anyway.., as I say: I'm not allowed to tell any of these stories.

I must say thank you again to Richard and Susan for their daughter's hand.
There's never a dull moment in Julia's company. Julia is quite the most
amazing person I've ever known and I promise I'll take very good care of
her. Sweetheart, you look absolutely stunning today…

On behalf of my beautiful new wife and myself, I.., we.., would like to say
thank you to a few people [get Julia to run about delivering thank-you
prezzies]:

– Firstly, to Julia's parents and to my own parents… We could never thank
you enough for all your very generous help and the tremendous love and
support you've always given us, but in particular in the last few months.

-To our two lovely Bridesmaids (& my new sisters!), Rachel and Clare, for
taking such good care of Julia and getting her to the church on time.

– To my three ushers, Chris, Keith & Richard, for looking after me so well
today ( and for stopping last night becoming a runaway drinking session
u8nder the auspices of calming my nerves).

– To Bob, for keeping us all in line and organised today as Master of
Ceremonies.

– To my best man Iain, for calming my nerves on the run-up to the wedding
(mostly by plying me with whisky) and for looking after me so well today.

– To Cindy and Jane for all the help and hard work that they've put into all the lovely flowers and decorations that you see around you today.

– To everybody for all your cards, kind thoughts and wonderful presents. I
must say we've been quite staggered by the generosity shown us.

– And finally I would like to say thanks very much for all of you for
attending and sharing this special day with us. A great many of you have
travelled hundreds of miles to be here and several of you – Tom, Janice and
Tom, have travelled thousands of miles to be here – It's been am amazing day and having you all here has helped to make this the most memorable and
happiest day of our lives.

– In conclusion, I would also like to thank my best friend for agreeing to
marry me today – thank you sweetheart! [give Julia her prezzie].

That was quite nice; having Julia run about at my beck and call…
For those of you who might think that that's how our relationship generally
is – it isn't..! I can assure you that I'll not be so much bossing the house as housing the Boss.
I've noticed already that Julia has been trying to get rid of some of my
less endearing habits: she hasn't managed to stop my biting my nails yet but she has at least managed to persuade me to put my socks back on afterwards..

Now if you'll all please charge your glasses I would like to propose an old
toast to two young ladies.., Rachel and Clare…
"And nature swears, the lovely dears,
Her noblest work she classes,
Her apprentice hand she tried on man,
And then she made the lasses" …ladies and gentlemen: The Lasses – The
Bridesmaids!

Before I sit down and hand over to my Best Man and great friend Iain I'd
just like to stress that he's never been one to let the truth get in the way of a good story…

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Best Man Iain…