Speech by Ian Dodd

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Ian Dodd
Speech Date: 17/07/2011 07:32:14

Hello again everyone,

I myself had a great speech worked out for you today, but as I'm now married, my wife told me exactly what to say instead.

First of all, on behalf of myself and my brand new wife welcome and thanks for joining us on our special day. Thanks for all the cards and gifts. Also thanks to some of you who have travelled quite a distance to join us its much appreciated.

I know its abit of an old cliché but today definitely wouldn't be so special if it wasn't for all you guys, friends and family and new family now!

I read somewhere earlier this week that a grooms speech should be likened to a mini skirt – It should be short enough to be interesting – but just long enough to cover the important bits.

So here we go….

I've got loads of thank yous to go through, so apologies if I miss anyone out.

Firstly I'd like to say a huge thank you to My Mam and Dad and Helen's Mam Pauline for their financial support and assistance with today, it's certainly not the first time…and probably won't be the last!!

But, if it wasn't for them I think we'd all be sat in our front garden in Corbridge fighting over the gazebo! So thanks a lot. It really is very much appreciated.

We have got gifts to show our appreciation which we'll dish out later.

I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my Mam and Dad for their continued love, support and guidance, things have been a little challenging to say the least over the last couple of years, but I know that no matter what, your both always there should I need you.

I'd like to say thanks to Pauline also, what everyone says about their new mother in laws certainly isn't true in your case.

You've Always make me feel welcome in the family home, and always one of the family.  I'm not so sure Shaun and Tony felt quite the same way at the start like!, Shaun used to just kind of grunted  at  me in the beginning and it took Tony a little time to warm to me. But I'm pleased to say that two people I consider to be friends, I can now call my new brother's in law.

Thanks also to Shaun for escorting Helen down the aisle and giving her away. You can have her back anytime!

I don't want to dwell on this to much, but unfortunately I never got the chance to meet Helens Dad, but I'm certain from all the stories I've heard and from what people have said today that he would be absolutely beaming, and as proud as punch of his only daughter today. He's a big miss!

So please raise your glasses for the first toast of the day –

‘To Helens Dad, Billy and of course to absent friends’

I'm really not so sure what he'd make of Helens choice of husband though!!!

Back to the Thank You's

Thanks to Auntie Dot for assistance with the flowers and endless phone calls

 Not forgetting Anne who did an amazing job with the cake, I'll tell you all how it tastes later! I'm definitely not sharing that beauty!!

Well maybe a little bit from the bottom if that's the fruit bit

Thanks to Anne's daughter Karen who did the table favours… they're for washing yourself with… Not for eating Terry.

Thanks to all that helped clean and prepare the church, and to DJ Michael on the decks who played the music during the ceremony.

Thanks to Ernest for his chauffeuring skills, and to Liz who I'm sure supervised the cleaning and decorating of the car. The in car refreshments were lovely.

Thanks also to Helen's uncle Rodger for transporting the brides maids.

Speaking of the bridesmaids, Thank you to Stef, Sarah and Lyndsay who I am sure you will all agree look amazing today and have done a brilliant job helping out with the wedding and making sure Helen didn't run off somewhere at the last minute.

Looking at those 3 makes me wish I had shares in the fake tan shop in Hexham!!

We've also got presents for you all as tokens of our appreciation.

Thank you also to the Tony & Jonny for being our ushers today and making sure the right bums were on the right seats, I was particularly impressed by the way you all managed to search handbags and frisk pockets on the way into church with such discretion. Top marks there. And for staying reasonably sober Jonny.

A special thank you to Louise who's stopped Helen becoming an absolute psycho over the past few months. You've been a real tower of strength and your organisational skilled are second to none. Today definitely wouldn't have gone so smoothly without you help and the reading was lovely. So Thanks again.

We've also got a gift for you to show our appreciation

I've also got to mention my cousin Julie, where is she? If I'd helped with the seating plan I would know!!!

If it wasn't for her match making we definitely wouldn't be here today.

NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE GONE AND DONE

I'll have a special word with you later!

Helen and I hadn't been together that long when we went on our first holiday to Egypt. We'd only been there a couple of days when we both developed stomach pains and acute diarrhoea. Now I don't want to go into graphic detail, but we both used to take it in turn to make use of the toilet whilst the other used to stand out on the balcony to help maintain a little dignity. Now needless to say there was no double glazing on the patio windows, and although she never said anything at the time, I'm sure some of the sound effects were pretty horrendous. There were definitely no secrets left between us after that holiday. Our relationship definitely moved on to the next level.

I remember on the plane home I asked her what her favourite part of the holiday was?

Was it seeing the pyramids? Or tuttenkamoons tomb? I asked

Was it having lunch on a Floating restaurant on the Nile?

Was it the 45 degree heat with uninterrupted sunshine?

She simply looked herself up and down and replied ‘well, I quite like the way I've lost weight this holiday………… and won't have to listen to you on the toilet anymore’ 

I'm thinking if she can put up with that then she can pretty much put up with anything!!!

When I heard Beyonce singing and saw Helen walk down the isle, everything just made sense.

You're the one person who knows all my faults, knows everything about me and love me just the same. You look absolutely beautiful today and I feel like I'm the luckiest Fella in the world to call you my wife.

Now I'll be the first to admit that you've planned this day to perfection without much help from me, so a huge thanks for holding everything together. I know this is the start of a lifetime with you and I, and a wonderful future ahead of us.

You are definitely my Bride and Joy!! (Did you see what I did there???)

Bride and joy??

Please ladies and gents hold your glasses high and toast Helen, my gorgeous bride. Cheers

Now, for those who don't know him, let me introduce me to my best man Terry, before he speaks just let me tell you one thing. Terry suffers from an illness quite common amongst Allendale men and that's a tendency to bend the truth and exaggerate things in order to get a laugh. I have shown symptoms of the disease myself from time to time. So please bear that in mind when he makes his speech. The nice bits are true and any entertaining and funny bits are complete fiction. He's a top man and was delighted when he agreed to be my best man. We have got a gift for you also, but, I think I'll wait till after you've spoken before deciding whether to give it to you or not.

Thanks again everyone and please enjoy the rest of your day. Cheers!