Speech by James

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: James
Speech Date: 08/09/2015 17:38:12

INTRO

Thanks Dean for your kind words. My speech, on the other hand will be a bit like my Dad… Short and not very funny. But seriously writing this speech has been a bit of challenge for me. I mean… how can I possibly fit 12 years into a matter of minutes? So I spoke to Kelly (the bride) about it and she kindly reassured me and said… “Even if it was for only a few minutes, she'd be more than happy…” Which is great for me… but a part of me thinks she‘ll end up regretting those words later tonight! …

Anyway.… aside from the sleazy jokes…… IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE… TO SAY… ON BEHALF OF MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND I … We would like to thank you all for coming today. It's great to see all our favourite people in one place on our special day. All your Kind words.… Best Wishes… and Generosity throughout has been amazing I t means a lot to us so thank you everyone!

PARENTS

Ok… our second big thank you has to go to our parents and we thank them for all their help and contribution for today. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Kelly's family for everything they have done for us over the last 12 years… But… If I'm honest it's been that long ago I can't really remember what my life was like without you all… or how we first met… but what I do know it was a very different picture back then… Dean had hair… Loz had a perm (a very beautiful one I may add)… Stace was still playing with Power Rangers… Alf wasn't even born… And Jord stood as high as my shoulders. These days I could probably run through his legs without him noticing…

So a lot has changed but from those early days you have been so welcoming… you are all wonderful people and I couldn't have married into a nicer family… And even though I am an arrogant Chelsea fan you still accepted m and for that I am truly grateful…

I would also like to extend my appreciation to Loz and Dean… For raising such a wonderful daughter, I know you already know this but Kelly is so kind and caring… Beautiful… Funny… Intelligent (kind of)… The list is endless… But unfortunately I can't read the rest of her writing… But on a serious note all these things are testament to you both as parents… We appreciate everything you have done for us over the years… You have both been like second parents to me and I'm so pleased to “finally” be your son-in-law… I do hope the feeling is mutual but to avoid any doubt… I just want you to know my main ambition in life is to make Kelly happy and give her the best life I can…

This leads me onto two other people not yet mentioned.… my parents Ali and Pete. I can't let today go by without thanking them for all their love and support over the years.… Welcoming Kelly into our family.… And of course bringing up such a handsome.… hardworking.… and successful son… I know you missed out with Ad (bless him) but you got one right…

I really couldn't have asked for a better Mum & Dad… they are brilliant in every way… And for me… it's quite humbling to get on in life and to realise what good friends your parents become…But also sadly for me as I have come to realise I'm becoming more and more… like my dad everyday.… Dancing… DIY.… you name it…! Thankfully not the hairline just yet! But I think everyone who knows my mum and dad will agree with me when I say… They are such a fantastic couple… They are the perfect role models for me and Kelly… And if in 30 years’ time we could be half as happy as you guys are then we would count ourselves as truly blessed…

On that note Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to propose a toast… Please could I ask you to raise your glasses TO THE PARENTS…

BRIDESMAIDS

Right the next thank you is to the beautiful bridesmaids… I am sure everyone agrees with me when I say you all look absolutely stunning today… I know I am briefed to tell you this but I do truly mean it, you all look amazing!

But there is so much we want to thank you girls for…

Firstly thank you for all you help in the lead up for today, and especially for keeping Kelly calm and composed over the last 24 hours or so… it's a job I do not envy in the slightest so well done!

Also a big thank you for organising the Hen-Do… Kelly was completely blown away with the amount of effort… that went into it… As was I seeing my mug shot plastered everywhere..… But judging by the photos it looked like you gave her a great send-off, so much so Kelly came back with… No voice.… endless bruises.… a broken engagement ring.… and her tail between her legs… and I thought you girls were tame ay…!!!

But more importantly and above all… We just want to thank you for being the best friends and sisters Kelly could possibly ask for! So ladies and gentlemen another toast if I may.… Please could I ask you to raise your glasses… TO THE GIRLS!

PAGE BOYS

Now for the Boys… Firstly our page boys… Although they can't understand what I am saying right now, we just wanted to say.… we are both honoured to have these two handsome chaps as our Pageboys today…Both of them looking very dashing in their suits.… And of course very well behaved… Which is more than I can say for some of the Groomsmen today…

USHER

Now to the Usher… Alf… For those of you that didn't know Kelly and I were actually dating before Alfie entered the world… And in spite of being a Man United fan like his old man it's amazing to see what a lovely young man he has become…

He's a brilliant lad in every way and also a second brother to me… When we're together I always have to remind myself… that I am supposed to be… the older… more mature… cleverer one… But it never seems to be the way….  He looks after me… Out smarts me… And beats me at most things…And I'm sure it won't be long until he's the other bigger brother looking down on me too. But thanks for all your help today Alf… I'm not sure what you actually did but we have a little gift for you as well.

BEST MEN

Well I am a lucky boy… to not have one but three Best men today… There is a bit of trend to my speech…  as I have mentioned how fortunate we both are to have wonderful friends and family.… And I am truly fortunate to have an amazing set of mates.… And for me each of them are my best men in their own right! … So cheers boys!

And today it's an honour to have three of them by my side…One of them being my brother… Ad… Probably the most laid back person I have ever known… Nothing seems to faze him and he takes everything in his stride…Which is actually a massive contrast to our younger days… When all I had to do was look at him and he would cry! But over the years he has blossomed into a lovely lad… And to have become more popular than his bigger brother is an achievement in itself… People now refer to me as “Ad's brother” or the little brother (as Adam likes to say) Which is fine by me I am man enough to take it… He can have the height because I'm certainly keeping the hair line… (and he hates it)… Anyway to be serious for a moment though I couldn't have asked for a better childhood with you.. We have had some amazing memories over the years and it's great to have grown up together and still be the best of mates…And regardless of what Mum and Dad say…You've turned out pretty well and I for one am very proud of you bro…

Then, we have… Andy… Probably the strangest… most complex chap I have ever met… After 15 years I still can't work him out… or his golf swing for that matter… but to put his golf swing into context though.. it's like watching Lurch from the Addams Family doing Gangnam style… As you can imagine… it's not a pretty sight! But thinking back we didn't actually see eye-to-eye when we first met at school… And before anyone says it wasn't because he was 4-foot taller than me… It was because he was jealous of my blond curtains…Anyway he got over it… eventually… And over the years we bonded… Accepted each other for who we are and shared many interests along the way… From football and golf to skipping lessons and gambling… Apart from the latter he's actually had such a positive influence on my life and a chap I know I can always rely on… He is a true friend… and I have a lot… to thank him for… so cheers mate!

Ok.… Kelly has always wanted a Harry Potter themed wedding… So you may have spotted Dumbledore… and his BEARD lurking around today… But to avoid any confusion that's actually my other Best Man… I have probably known Dan the longest out of all my mates… Where we met playing for our local football team at the tender age of 9… Dan has always been a bit special… and nothing short of self-confidence…He's a guy without limits and standards…From getting naked on dance floors to lifting twice his own body weight… Despite all this he is absolutely terrified of driving his van down the A14… I kid you not…

Over the years I have never met a “bubblier guy”… He's always the last man standing on a night out.… And always the first one to put his arm round you if you have a problem….He is a fiercely loyal friend and an even better Dad to two lovely girls… And like Andy I have a lot to thank him for…

But I would also like to thank him and Jamie for their contribution to the Stag Do… And even though you dressed me up as a… cat loving… Freddie Mercury look-alike… Dan… You still somehow managed to look worse than me!

STAG-DO

Talking of the stag do.… Thanks to everyone that made it it was an amazing send-off and a great laugh… So much so it deserves a few special mentions……..

Firstly I would like to thank the old boys for their performances….Seeing you two giving it large in Ibiza will be a memory I will never forget… And one of which deserves a prize…

Lastly.… There has to be a special mention for my good friend Steve… For yet again destroying his dignity.… self-respect.… and… ANOTHER MATTRESS.… I won't go into detail now but for anyone interested I am sure one of the lads can… WET….… your appetite…

On that bombshell ladies and gentlemen… Please can I ask to raise your glasses TO THE BOYS KELLY

Now for the star of the show… my wife… my bride… and my BREAST friend……..… sorry BEST friend.

I thought I had prepared myself quite well for this day… But nothing could have prepared me for when you walked down the aisle… You always seem to have a knack of making me fall for you over and over again…  And today was no different…I am so fortunate to have you in my life… And I am so excited to spend the rest of my days by your side.… I love you…

I must also thank Kelly for her incredible effort in making this day so perfect for us… Her planning… creativity… attention to detail.… and SPENDING POWER… has been beyond words…She has worked so hard in making today so special…I say ‘WORK’…quite literally… As she has single handily planned this entire wedding from her desk at work…To this day… I don't know how she's achieved it (or how she still has a job for that matter)… She says its multi-tasking and ‘being a bloke I will never understand… So…like any other bloke I had to prove her wrong……… But playing Candy Crush whilst having a poo probably wasn't the best way to do it… She wasn't happy…   Ok… in any groom speech it is traditional at this point to tell you all how Kelly and I both met…I wish I had an interesting… romantic story to tell but I don't… We met in a much more conventional way.… I was 16… and Kelly was 14… (no comments please….) We met at a house party… I was drunk and Kelly was sober & she took advantage of the situation… To this day all I can remember was Kelly's friends… some of which are in this room today… Found it rather amusing to tie us both to a chair and pour bottles of cider over us… (PAUSE) I mean I know I was a catch but Kelly made sure I wasn't going anywhere AND I DIDN'T!… Anyway since that night… we have lived in each other's pockets and pretty much grown up together… Well not literally we are still as short as we were back then… But you get my point…

We have experienced so much together.… From passing our driving tests… and finishing school.… To getting our first jobs.… & buying our first home…But it hasn't always been plain sailing… The tough bit was when we both went to University… And although it was no further than an hour away it felt like a long distance relationship..… And to say it was tough… is an understatement…There were tears… arguments… more tears and more arguments… 5 years of sobbing at the train stations felt like forever and a day… And although we didn't embrace it at the time… We now look back with fond memories as this made us the couple we are today… And 12 years on here we now stand ON OUR WEDDING DAY!

Kelly I want to thank you for marrying me… And for making me the proudest man in the world… You're caring… Thoughtful….And always put others first… You challenge me….Support me… Love me for who I am … Whilst always… bringing out the best in me… I couldn't have found a more special person to take on life and grow old with… And I know.… That no matter what life throws at us you will always be there by my side…  And for that I am immensely grateful and love you very much…

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…PLEASE BE UPSTANDING… FOR ONE OF THE MOST.… IMPORTANT TOASTS… I WILL EVER MAKE… TO MY WIFE… AND ABSOLUTE WORLD… TO KELLY!