Speech by Jason Dackins

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Jason Dackins
Speech Date: oct 2003

Thank you Norman for the kind words!

I had prepared a really funny speech for you today, but unfortunately, now that I am married, –I've been told to read this one instead.

As if I'm not already speaking with a big enough handicap as it is; —I'm also sober. —

I would like to start my speech by saying to Pamela; –How gorgeous you look today. –I expected you to look wonderful, but nothing prepared me for what I saw, as you walked up the aisle. –. I think everyone will agree that Pam does look beautiful today.

I now have a new phrase, which I have been dying to use. So here goes.—On behalf of my wife and I,—I would like to give our warmest greetings to all of you, the friends and relatives of both families; Especially those who have travelled long distances, to be here with us today. Ian and Kelly who have travelled all the way from Boston in the States, and my brother for getting out of bed before lunchtime on a Saturday , I know that was a big task for you mate !

I would next like to give a very warm thank you to Pam's Mum and Dad, Norman and Christine, for the greatest gift of them all; —Allowing me to take their daughter's hand in marriage. — Norman I hope I live up to your expectations, but I'm afraid that I will never support Arsenal!
Since Pam and myself have been living together now for a few years, we've started to call Norman the exorcist. This is because every time he comes round our house he rids us of all our spirits..!

I would like to move on now, to thanking my Mum and Dad, Kerry and Jeanette, for all the happy years we have had together and for their continued love and support.— (you have always showed me the right direction in life to take and most of the time I always went the other etc, etc)

On behalf of Pam and myself, I would like to thank both sets of parents, for their generous contributions to this lovely wedding and reception.

This is the part of the speech, where I am supposed to relate about Pam.—She is looking worried now.—What can I say about Pam;–or What dare I say about her.—
As it's her Wedding day, I am going to let her off lightly.—

It doesn't seem five minutes since Pam and I met in Charmonds nightclub in Porth; My John Travolta style dancing resulted in Pam begging me for my phone number….well that's my version anyway ! We were also in the same technical college , so it was a combination of Charmonds night club and Ponty technical college that brought us together. Over 10years ago now !

The next big milestone after that fateful meeting, was my romantic proposal to Pam in Thailand in August 2000. We were having a meal at a cliff top restaurant, on the last night of the holiday; I'd kept the ring in my pocket for 2 weeks. How I didn't lose it I'll never know..
Suitably impressed Pam said, “Yes“, and the rest as they say is now history.

So what is Pam like to be with?

As most of you will know Pam is a dancing teacher; And among her most glorious moments have been; representing Great Britain and Wales, appearing on Come dancing, and dancing at Elton John's 50th birthday party (to name but a few!) I think she's been on TV more times that Ant and Dec !.

Also about 8 years ago Pam and her friend Lisa decided to be backing dancers for a rap/dance group. They were going to be the next big thing allegedly; And I think Pam thought that she was going to get on top of the pops and go on world tours.–Unfortunately in the groups case, the word rap was preceded with a C;—And they didn't make the big time.—

Another of Pam's claims to fame is that she won Ready Steady Cook;-And we now have the golden winners rolling pin in our kitchen.—
How Pam won it, I will never know; She is well known for dressing to kill;–And she cooks the same way.–
Pam is the only person I know, who has held corn on the cobs up on their end and burnt her fingers;–Because it said on the packet, ‘stand for 5 minutes’.—

Pam also love shopping, especially for shoes and boots;—She has more pairs than Imelda Marcos and Elton John put together.—

I now have a big list here of my wife's qualities. They are her great beauty, her intelligence, her strength of character, her charm, (Look puzzled)—–I am afraid that I am struggling to read her writing, so I will have to move on.—

Being serious now, Pam has all of those good qualities and many more.
She is my soul mate and definitely the love of my life.–I am a very fortunate man and I would like to take this opportunity to say to Pam;– How much I am looking forward, to spending the rest of my life with you.–

If you want to know any more about Pam, you will have to wait for my autobiography.–

I would now like to thank the beautiful Bridesmaids, Emma and Bella For attending and supporting Pam today.—They both look gorgeous..
Ladies and Gentlemen would you please raise your glasses, while I propose a toast;—”To the Bridesmaids”.——Thank you.

Right who is next;–It's Lee the Best man.
What can I tell you about Lee, that you haven't already thought?–

When you choose a Best Man, I have heard that you choose someone with good organisational skills, a sense of humour, the ability to speak publicly and someone who's willing to lie about how nice you are.—-Well I chose Lee.—
He has managed all of those things and more, up until now;–
Obviously though we still have to hear his speech.—

Both Lee and I like our sports and last year as some of you will know, we did the London Marathon together. To be truthful I was struggling to stay behind him;—Although in the end he beat me by 20 minutes. So we go running together, cycling and drinking; Although not always in that order.—

Lee also used to play a lot of rugby; Especially rugby league when he was in Uni. He gave up though because he couldn't take the knocks. He claims he was too small and the aches started lasting longer and longer.—However despite all these problems, I am sure Lee is probably still good enough to get into the current Welsh team.—
One final thing I will say about Lee, is it's his 30th birthday in a few days time, so I would like you all to join me in wishing him a very happy birthday;—-Happy birthday Lee!

That is all I intend to say about Lee; so if you want to know any more, we can discuss him over a drink later.

On a more sincere note now; Thank you very much Lee,–I am very proud and very pleased, that you have been my Best Man today.

I will now move onto thanking the ushers.

The first is my brother Justin.
Justin is a Cardiff city fan, and a Sunday league footballer. I use the word footballer loosely as his mates tells me he spends most of the time being ill on the touch line.
He also likes to think he's a bit of a ladies man;—
Although what the ladies think I am not too sure.—

The second Usher, is another mate of mine Darren.
If he has a bit of a haggard look about him; It is either because he has just became a dad for the first time, to a baby boy called Kyle;—Or he is a Liverpool FC fan;—
Both can lead to lots of sleepless nights.—

Thank you both very much, for your assistance and support today.—

Okay before I finish up , I'll hand out some thank you gifts to the people who without their help we couldn't have made today possible – (hand out gifts)

Well that is about it now, apart from thanking you all very sincerely
on behalf of Pam and myself, for being here today, and for all your kind thoughts, nice cards and wonderful presents.—
Thank you very much.