Speech by John

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: John
Speech Date: 24/01/2013 15:05:06

Thank you (Father of the Bride) for your kind words….

Distinguished guests, family, friends, on behalf of my beautiful wife — and myself, I would like to thank you all for coming here today.

For those of you that know me well, I am normally quite confident at speeches and presentations, but today has been the best day and the most surreal day of my life. I am overwhelmed, knowing that I am now finally married to the love of my life. And as if standing in front of you all today and speaking isn't bad enough, I've still got to stand up and dance in front of you all later on.  If there weren't kids present, this is the bit I would be swearing at.

I would first like to thank both parents, my new in-laws for welcoming me into the family as sincerely as you have, and allowing me to marry your amazing daughter.  Thank you for raising a beautiful, intelligent yet sometimes stubborn and bossy daughter, and of course, thank you for letting me have her hand in marriage, in fact if I remember correctly, the words you said when I asked you both was “at bloody last” wasn't it (Mother of the Bride), or that is the clean version at least anyway.  (Father of the Bride)’s first fatherly in law advice that day was that marriage is usually a 50/50 partnership, but he then went on to say anyone who thinks that, doesn't know women or is terrible at fractions.

I would also like to thank my Mum for her help and support over the years. You should be proud that you raised an intelligent, witty, dashing, handsome son, but unfortunately, you raised me, so thanks for putting up with me and been here today to support myself and (Bride). Will you raise a glass to both sets of parents…To the parents.

While you have your glasses in your hand, I would like you to raise it again to toast people who sadly while we wish they were, they could not be present today.  (Bride)’s Sister (Name), and my Maternal Grand-parents (Names), you are all sadly missed, and both myself and (Bride) dearly wish you could be here with us today…To absent friends.

A big  thank you also goes to (Son of the Bride), I know how proud your Mum was walking up that aisle with you earlier, thank you for making her day today, and for all the hard work and running around you have done for me today, and for contributing to this brilliant day the way you have.

I also want to thank (Best Man) my best man, for keeping me sane (and sober) last night and all this morning, re-assuring me that (bride) would actually turn up at the church today, and stopping me from drinking  that bottle of whiskey I spied on the bar in the hotel this morning.  (Best man) has been a great friend to (Bride) over the years, and to me recently also, and I look forward to many years of nights out in (Venue) as I continue to make a fool of myself trying to learn to dance. 

We also want to thank (Ushers) who made sure we had no gate-crashers today and yes (Usher), I do still remember what you said to me that first time we met, and I WILL be sticking to it.  I know you're a pussycat really, but you're still bigger and taller than me, so I will be a good boy, promise.

So please raise your glasses for The Boys…The Boys

Finally, now it's over to the most important person here today, the star of the show, my beautiful new wife (Bride).  It sounds great finally been able to say that, my wife (Bride), I can't stop grinning like a Cheshire cat every time I say it.  What can I say that I haven't said to most of you about her anyway? We are a perfect match for each other, she is great at giving orders, and I'm great at following them. Parker from Thunderbirds has nothing on me.

I've learnt in a very short space of time, that Whenever  she's right, and I'm wrong, admit it, Whenever she's wrong and I'm right, just keep quiet, she has one hell of an arm punch (that's your fault too (Father of the bride).  And thanks to (Bride), where once I was terrified of walking onto a dance floor in front of a big crowd, I'm afraid I still am, sorry dear. Oh how I dread that dance later, I know it's going to look like a drunk Homer Simpson blindfolded on the dance floor DOH!

But seriously, not only today, but the whole last (time together) have been so surreal, I have to pinch myself to realise that this woman next to me, is actually with me let alone now married to me, and how fantastic my life has been since we have been together.  There is a saying that you don't marry someone you can live with; you marry someone you can't live without.  I think that sums us up well.  Watching (Bride) walk up that aisle today made me realise just how lucky I am, I looked at myself, and realized it was definitely me getting the best part of this deal.  You always bring the best out of me, you understand me like no-one else and you are always fighting my corner.

We first met each other nearly 18 years ago, and I am very proud to say she has been the best friend I have ever had. I would like to think I have been a good friend to her as well, especially when I stopped her from a drunken fight with next-doors hedge when I walked her home one night from a nightclub all those years ago, not to mention I made the coffees the next morning (and as (ushers) will testify, I am not the world's best at making coffee), but luckily, (Bride) has made them most mornings since, and I don't have to sleep on the sofa this time.

I still haven't worked out quite why she agreed to marry me, but every day I wake up happy that she chose me, and I am really looking forward to the rest of my life next to this amazing lady, thank you (Bride), I love you in so many ways, and for so many reasons.  So I would like you to all join me in a toast to my best friend, and beautiful wife, (Bride)…… To (Bride)

So, that's enough from me, it now gives me great pleasure (I think) to hand over to my best man, (Best Man).  For those of you that know (Best man), I really am sorry, and for those that don't know (Best man), he actually lives in a parallel universe which may cause him to invent fanciful stories, particularly about myself and (Bride).  He really does believe these stories to be true and I thank you in advance for humouring him.  Just to get my revenge before he says anything about us, something that he likes to keep a secret from everyone apart from myself and (Bride) is his secret hobby, which is paving stones and drains, so keen is he with his hobby, that he regularly finishes a night out drinking inspecting them with his face at very close quarters.

So with great nervousness, I would like to hand you over to our best man and best mate (for now anyway), (Best man).