Speech by kabeer kher

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: kabeer kher
Speech Date: 06/06/2011 16:11:25

Groom's Speech

To start off I'd like to say, Serife you look absolutely stunning today, I'm so proud of you. In fact, as we're in Limavady I should really say “You scrub up well darlin”!

Thanks to everyone for coming today, I know a lot of you have travelled a long way and we really appreciate the effort you've all made to be here. I'm pretty sure Kanika tops that list as she's travelled here from Thailand, so well done you. But others have travelled from Scotland, England, Norway and Switzerland, so thanks to all of you.

Thanks so much for all the generous gifts, I can't tell you how much they mean to us. Of course, I'll have a better idea after the car boot sale tomorrow.

I'm sure you'll all agree today is a very special day that we've all been looking forward to for a long time. I am of course referring to the FA Cup Final. Only joking, I meant the Eurovision song contest. But if any of you are feeling like you're missing out, rest assured our very own Eurovision entry from Northern Ireland, Mr Shane O'Reilly will be performing later tonight. He's been trying to get to the Eurovision finals with the same two songs for the last 25 years, Honky Tonk Woman and Back in the USSR, and he's trying again tonight so make sure you give him all your support.

There is of course the small matter of the wedding, and I have a short list of people I'd like to thank.

Thanks to Mum for all your work in making today possible with all those hours trekking round pretty much the whole of the Punjab looking for saris and turbans. You covered so much ground it's a wonder you didn't find Bin Laden yourself!

Thanks to Dad for following her all the way round and writing all those cheques. I'm surprised you don't have writer's cramp by now.

To Christine, or should I say mum, thank you for welcoming me with such open arms. You've really made me feel part of the family, and I feel so at home in Costa del Norfolk. At this point I was going to say there is a pile of dirty washing back at the house for you, but as you spent most of Thursday ironing my boxers I think we're past that stage. Unfortunately Nan couldn't make the trip today, it's quite a trek for a 97 year old, but she is in all of our hearts, and I'm sure she'll enjoy the video after I've deleted out the second half of the evening.

Thanks to Leah for designing the invitations and for baking the cake, it really looks great. From what I hear it is absolutely filled to the brim with brandy, so I'm sure it's going to be a massive hit with this crowd. Thanks to all the Grooms Men and Bridesmaids, you've done a great job in your duties.

At this point I should let you in on a little secret about Serife and I. When we met it wasn't exactly love at first sight. We first met on my second day at BT in Croydon. Her call centre manager introduced me, a fresh new graduate, eager to learn and unable to take my eyes off this 5ft 10 stunner. I think I caught her attention for a total of 4 milli seconds before she turned on her heels and marched off. She clearly had bigger fish to fry, and I spent most of the next 4 years finding any excuse to be near her until she finally agreed to go out with me on New Years Eve 2009.

After about a year of dating I decided I should pop the question, and so I told Serife we were going away for Valentines day. Just to make sure I threw her off the scent I told her we were going to Killarney, when I'd actually booked a trip to Paris. I fully expected to get rumbled at departures, but Serife's trust in me in so great that we got all the way through check in and to the gate without her checking once to see which flight we were catching. Eventually when they called our flight I had to spill the beans so I leaned over and said, do you know where we're really going this weekend?
She looked up, and saw two flights on the board, and was so afraid we were going to Liverpool that she couldn't actually say the word Paris. Needless to say she said yes and made me the happiest man on earth.

That's not to say that we haven‘t had our ups and downs, like any couple. However I have come to realise with Serife there is one golden rule. Whenever I'm Wrong… Admit it immediately!! Whenever I'm Right… Keep Quiet!! And if I could just stick to that rule I think I would do well.

At this point I'd like to toast the bride. Serife, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever known, you are my soul mate, my best friend, and you would definitely be my phone a friend. Ladies and Gentlemen, Please raise your glasses

“To the Bride”

Now, for those of you who haven't yet heard, Serife and I are expecting a baby this winter and we're very much looking forward to it. I'm pretty sure my reaction was the same as it is for most guys, I can't believe it actually works.

But I have to say, starting a family is something I've dreamed of my whole life and I couldn't imagine a better mother for my children than Serife. And I definitely can't imagine a better excuse for even more time off work, so thanks again Dad.

Now I know many of you will be wondering if it's a boy or a girl. Well the truth is so are we! Not because we wanted to wait, oh no! We've got a Doctor who thinks it's a boy, and a Radiologist who thinks it's a girl! All I can say is, as long as it is one or the other and not both I'll be a happy man. We're still mulling over possible names, needless to say there is plenty of debate in my family, after all we are Punjabi's, but if it's a girl it will be called Yasmin, which is Jackie's middle name, and is also the brand of pill that Serife was on when she got pregnant. We're still debating over a boy's name but if you find out my son ends up being called Microgynan you'll know where I got the idea from.

There a few people close to our hearts who can't be with us today on both sides of our family. For some of them the trip was too far, and for some it came too late. Serife's father, and my grandparents in India are among those sorely missed today. So if you would please raise your glasses.

“To Absent and Lost Family and Friends”

Finally we come to the speech you've all been waiting for. When I first set the wedding day I instantly knew who I wanted to be my best man but unfortunately he couldn't make it, so Vikram has kindly stepped in. When I spoke to him last week he said he was on his 4th draft, so be sure to heckle him wherever possible and don't believe a word he says.

Vik, believe me when I say I'd like to thank you from the heart of my bottom in advance of your kind words. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Best Man”