Speech by Lloyd Green

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Lloyd Green
Speech Date: Aug2004
Thanks Brad for those kind words.

My dearest Alice, Ruth and Leslie, Mum and Dad, Relatives and Friends.

My wife and I pause My wife and I would like to start with a big thank you to everyone here today especially those of you who have travelled some distance to be here. We are delighted and touched to see you all and thanks so much for all the wonderful gifts. I'm sure Alice will make good use of the black and decker power drill, as I will the deckchairs and remote TV.… But seriously it wouldn't be as special a day if it wasn't for all our friends and family being here, so again a big thank you.

Regrettably a few people can't be with us today due to poor health and we wish them all a speedy recovery. A few personal friends of mine were also unable to make it but Paul McCartney, Van Morrison and Bryan Ferry send their best regards.

On a more serious note I know how much all of our grandparents would have enjoyed today's celebrations and how happy they would have been for us. However, although not here in body, we feel that they are here in spirit and will be forever in our thoughts. I am so pleased that Alice got the chance to meet my nana Freda before she sadly passed away just after our engagement and how thrilled nana was at me finding such a wonderful girl. Alice now wears the diamond that was on her finger so in some way she is always with us.

Ruth and Leslie, I would like to thank you so much everything you have done and for welcoming me so openly into your family. I feel very proud to be able to say that I am your son-in-law and will always do my best to live up to your expectations and promise to continue taking good care of Alice. This whole day and everything else you have given us has been so overwhelming. You have both made us feel very special. I'm sure everyone will agree what a fantastic day it has been so far pause

I would like to thank you most importantly for giving me your blessing to marry your beautiful and obviously extremely intelligent daughter. I hope that you don't feel that you've lost a daughter, but instead have gained another regular visitor to Dad's cafe, as it is affectionately known. Thank you.
Mum and Dad, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for my upbringing and for pointing me in the right direction…usually only to watch me go off and do exactly the opposite, of course…but that's what sons are for and do best. I feel very privileged to be part of such a loving close-knit family. Dad has always been there with useful advice.… and not just about my golf swing and if it wasn't for me having to learn how to cope with dad's one-liners, gags and sharp wit I wouldn't be the comic genius that stands before you today. Also if it wasn't for dad I wouldn't be able to mix with the stars at showbiz parties, which of course you all know I hate. On a more serious note, Dad you gave us a real scare earlier this year and as most of you know I flew out to New Zealand to be with him. On the plane on the way over, I had a strange experience. I had gone to the toilet….no, that's not the strange experience…when I returned to my seat and looked at my TV screen Dad was staring at me. It was an old clip of him with Paul McCartney on the Later with Jools Holland show. It really comforted me and I felt it was a good omen, which it was. Dad and I spent over 6 weeks together in New Zealand and I know that neither of us will forget it. We learnt a lot and it was hard being away from our family and friends on the other side of the world, in particular hard for me being away from Alice.
I stayed in constant contact with both Alice and mum and many of you sent kind emails. You never know what's around the corner, but having a loving close knit family and a wonderful group of friends makes you able to face anything. As you might have expected, the reunion at Heathrow airport was a very emotional time and the whole experience further deepened the love that both Alice and I have for each other. Of course special mention must also be made to the Kiwis, in particular Craig and Steph and the rest of the Watts clan who put us up…or should that be put up with us… for 3 weeks. They were truly wonderful to us and asked for nothing in return. We thank them for everything that they did for us.
Dad, you never thought you'd be here, but you are, and we are all truly thankful for your recovery. I love you very much.
Mum, there is nothing that you wouldn't do for either Brad or myself. You are one of the most selfless people I have ever met and have always put the needs of your family before yourself. You are a wonderfully kind and thoughtful human being and I'm so lucky to have found in Alice someone who shares these traits with you. It can't be easy living with 3 male Greens…I think Alice is having a tough enough time with one. From the bottom of my heart, I feel proud to call you mum and you deserve the accolade of the ‘greatest mum’ in the world.
I know Ive made both you and dad proud of me through my various academic achievements and career and in particular my choice of wife. Both of you have welcomed Alice into the Green clan with open arms right from day one when we had that game of Balderdash and both look upon her as a daughter. Mum, it must be nice knowing that after 30 years you can finally go out shopping for girlie presents. Both Alice and I would like to thank both of you for your generosity today and for making it such a special day for us to remember.
I think Alice and I can learn a lot from both our parents’ marriages. Later this month, Ruth and Leslie will celebrate their Ruby anniversary pause and my parents have been married for over 32 years. I know…I've been there for 31 of them!

And now to the best man who simply is ‘the best’. As a young boy of 7, I nagged my parents for a baby brother and after a while they caved in and Bradley promptly arrived. Of course at the time I wasn't sure how exactly he arrived ‘biological speaking’ so after my dad's failed attempt at explaining the birds and the bees, a brand new copy of ‘The Body book’ by Clare Rayner found its way into my room and it made it all a lot clearer. You see although Brad has his tough guy/gangster image to uphold, he is still affectionately referred to by all of us as ‘The Booby’ pause. Actually I've got to be slightly careful what I say here….Would you mess with someone who has Danger as their middle name?…Quite literally Brad changed his middle name to Danger by deed poll and so is now officially called Brad Danger Green and coupled with the fact that the legendary gangster Dave Courtenay is one of his closest friends, he is not a guy to be messed with. Over the years Brad and I have grown very close and the 8-year age gap seems to get smaller and smaller…or maybe that's just me pretending I'm still in my twenties. In recent years we have started socializing more and spent last New Years Eve together, which was great.

Brad, I know that life has been tough for you but you've always strived to achieve the things that are important to you and are now a successful businessman who runs his own company. I've never known anyone work harder or put more effort into things than you do and I'm very proud to have you as my brother.

I'm sure Brad has received a few PGBY comments today by that of course, I mean ‘please god by you’. Well let me say this Brad has never been short of female attention…something he must have inherited from his older brother and normally has 2 or 3 girls on the go, in fact he once had the cheek to say to me ‘Lloyd if there's anything you want to know about women just let me know’…he was 12 at the time. So let me assure you all that when the time is right, Brad will find the ‘one’ and I also hope that he inherits from his brother, the good luck I had in finding someone as special as Alice. I know how much Alice loves Brad and views him as her little brother too.

Thanks also for organising a superb stag do. It was a great weekend and I know all of us had a wonderful time. Its not often you get 8 men standing in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere at 2am playing the light of shame. Anyway the less said the better. Thanks for everything Brad. You are the best man.

And now I turn to the most important person in my life my beautiful wife Alice…Ali G. They say you don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without which is very true with Alice and while looking forward to and preparing myself for today I wasn't prepared enough for when I saw her walk down the aisle in the shul shining with sheer elegance and grace. I was overwhelmed to the say the least by how beautiful Alice looked this afternoon. I am so proud to say that you are my wife and I love you very much.

Alice and I originally met 11 years ago back in 1993. My songwriting partner Dave had arranged for us to meet up with a guitarist called Richard for a rehearsal and Richard was bringing his little sister who was going to play drums. That's where Alice and I first met. A dingy rehearsal studio in the backstreets of Dagenham. It may not have been love at first sight but I did think…great drummer!

Alice and I then didn't see each other for years. We did start to bump into each other a lot at local parties and always flirted. We always referred to each other as ‘flirting partners’ but never quite got it together. One of us was always in another relationship so the timing was never right until one day……

It was at a party in North London back in September 2001. Once again Alice and I were flirting and as it happened neither of us were seeing anyone else. I played it cool and handed Alice my business card leaving the ball in Alice's court. When I returned to work on the Monday I found an email from Alice that she had written the next day explaining how much she enjoyed the party and of course my company and how she would like to go for a drink with me one evening. Blimey she's keen I thought…and what good taste she has!
We haven't looked back since then.

Alice is very kind, caring and thoughtful. Alice is also very ladylike and has impeccable manners, which is an indication of what a great job Ruth and Leslie have done in her upbringing. In fact it was a colleague of Alice's that once described her as a ‘Jeune Fille’ and I couldn't agree more. I love introducing her to my friends and work colleagues alike. She is so easy to talk to and friendly and everyone always says ‘Isnt she a nice girl!’.
Alice is also very studious and her list of qualifications is endless she practically has a whole alphabet after her name. She is currently studying for her doctorate in psychology, which is no mean task especially while preparing for a wedding and moving house at the same time. Who'd have thought it me marrying a doctor….and Alice marrying a patient!

Alice is also very devoted her budgie, Flotsam..in fact so much so that I sometimes feel that there's three of us in the relationship. When I originally told my friends that Alice was into birds, they stared at me open mouthed and said ‘you lucky git’ until I explained that the birds she was into were of the feathered variety.

Now how could any speech of mine be complete without mentioning the ‘C’ word…Curry! Whilst Alice has introduced me to herbal tea and healthy foods I have introduced her to Tandoori Butter Chicken and Kobra Beer. It would have been on the menu today but I fancied a change.

Alice and I have grown together and have been through so much in the last couple of years ..not everyone decides to move house, change jobs and get married within 5 months of each other. Alice was also a rock of support when I was in New Zealand. Togetherness is our strength and we make a strong team. She is my soul mate and the person I want to spend the rest of my life. Alice, I love you very much and am so thrilled that you want to spend the rest of your life with me pause

I must just make a special mention of young Natasha and Samuel who both did a superb job today as Bridesmaid and Pageboy. You made us all very proud. Thank You.

Ladies and Gentlemen, could I ask you to be upstanding and join with me in drinking a toast to our parents Ruth and Leslie and mum and dad who have made our dream come true today.