Speech by Mark Horn

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Mark Horn
Speech Date: 10/07/2014 16:31:02

Thank you or those kind words eddie, I really appreciate it and for gifting your daughters hand in marriage today.  I'm just hoping I get a chance to unwrap the gift later tonight.

Now as is custom, your arm will starting rising and falling soon like a fiddlers elbow for the toasts.  Please fully charge your glasses and no downing in one go, mentioning no names, Mr Alastair Pace!

Now I can assure you I has a great speach prepared for today, but now I'm married my new wife has told me what to say!

Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, on behalf of my wife and I, it's truly fantastic to see so many of you here today to help us celebrate one of the happiest day in our lives.

Some of you have travelled a long way to be here even as far away as Hong Kong (thank you David).  It really is making our big day that bit more special having you all here.

Our thanks too for all the lovely wedding presents and good will messages, we really appreciate it.

We hope that you're enjoying yourself and that will continue well into this evening.

So, first toast.  Here's to you all – to family and friends.

Unfortunately, it's not been possible to have everyone we would have loved to be here with us today, but we know they are here in Spirit.

So, with them in mind, please raise you glass again to the “gone but not forgotten”

First off we'd like to thank Eddie and Catherine for all their hard work in making today possible. 

Also can I personally thank you both and your extended families for accepting me into your family and making me feel so welcome.

Particularly so when despite knowing me for a number of years it must have been quite a shock when we broke the news to you back in 2004 that you were going to be grandparents again! That and also ruining your new cream carpet.

Picture the scene, you visit your future in laws, who proudly point out their recently fitted cream carpet.  They all nip out for a message leaving me alone with toddler nathan and a mug of coffee on the windowsill.

Resting comfortably in an armchair watching sky sports lightning speed toddler nathan scambles up my torso, grabs the blinds and yanks them forward projecting the entire mugs contents across the entire carpet.

Panic ensues, cupboards are rifled for cleaning agents, but despite what I think is a valient effort at world record speed I admit defeat.  The carpet is ruined.  I then rehearse the before you come in I need to tell you something speech!

The reply was not to worry “accidents happen”.

As you can see then not just an understanding couple but a very tolerant one too!

Thanks Eddie and Catherine for all your love, support and generosity over the years. Particularly today!!  Eddie maybe going down from working a 5 to 3 day week wasn't such a good idea after all!!

Thanks too for how well you have brought up Susan to be the beautiful, caring and intelligent woman I've the pleasure of marrying today.  Can I also say your fantastic grandparents too.

I really couldn't have asked for nicer in laws.

As a token of our appreciation please accept these flowers.

Please raise your glasses again, here's to Eddie and Catherine.

Now over to my mum and dad, May and Ricky.

I'm sure it must have been a challenge bringing up Johnny and I, that's possibly and understatement!

Frankly though, I couldn't have wished for better parents and for the values you have taught me.  I'll always be thankful for the childhood you gave me and support throughout my adult life.

Mum for always being there for me whatver I needed.  Maybe a special thanks for all those delicious rolls you made me for T in the Park over the past 20 years. I'm sure Mr Leslie who helped me eat them would second that!

Dad, for the endless hours you spent ferrying me around the country for swimming, football and golf which was never a problem to you.  Mind you Dad, good job it was a company car and company petrol though eh!

I'd also like to thank you both and our extended families on behalf of Susan for making her feel so welcome over the years.  We also thank you both for being such fantastic grandparents too.

Mum and Dad, I love you very much, I'm maybe bias but I think you've done a fantastic job!

As a token of our appreciation, please accept these flowers.

Please raise you glasses, here's to Ricky & May!

Now, over to my gorgeous wife.  Mrs Horn you look amazing today, when I saw you coming down the aisle I realised how lucky I am and it's definately me that's getting the best deal today.

For those that know Susan and I well it seems like we've gone the last 11 years in reverse order to get where we are today, however I firmly believe what's for you will never go past you which is the reason why we are here today.  I'll now explain in more detail.

Susan and I first crossed paths more than 20 years ago. I think it's fair to say from the first time we met there was a strong chemistry between us.  Although we dated in our 20s and were very fond of each other, we were both quite independent people and weren't ready to settle down.  That's maybe short for we liked to party!

That all changed in August 2003. As was usual at the time I was sinking a few tiger beers in behind the wall on a saturday night with my wing man Paul Reilly upstairs in Behind the Wall.  We leaft BTW in our usual distinguished manner and the “Sliding Doors” moment happened.

“Chicken Pakora and home or up to Rosies nightclub” I said to Paul. “Rosies” was the reply.  To be fair anything to keep the night going is normally Paul's standard response so I was feeling confident.

So, I ensured I made a beeline for Susan that night, insisting that we should get back together.  Feeling sorry for me, she agreed and the rest as you say is history.

For those that don't know Susan too well, I've wrote a short poem about her.

Susan doesn't believe in shooting stars

More like shoes and her next membership card

Up falkirk town you will often find her, best friend mum not far behind her.

Cup of tea in Marksy's a mums diary is filled with the week ahead, normally a wee bonus of their food keeps up all well fed.

A midwife, a mum, a wife a busy life you'd say, although enver misses her episodes of soap on telly each day.

Sensitive Susan, Stubborn Susan she can often be, but her best quality is always honesty.

One thing for sure Susan's love for family is always number one, Nathan's lucky to have her as a mum.

Now my wife, our family is complete, for as many years as we have togther each one will be a treat.

Now as is tradition for the Horn brothers we've managed to choose a date when the World Cup is on, so apologies to all the football fans out there.

Apologies too to all the Rod Stewart fans who are missing out on the concert at Falkirk Stadium tonight.  Susan and I were also really disappointed to miss out.  Don't worry though I've sent him a message on Facebook so I'm hoping he will make it down for the encore.

With the Rod Stewart theme in mind, perhaps a few words to my new wife from Rod are suitable for the occasion.  So Susan, here we go.

“have I told you lately that I love you”

“have I told lately that there is no one else above you”

“you fill my heart with gladness”

“take away all my sadness”

“ease my troubles that's what you do”

They say you don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without and I think that sums us up perfectly.

Ladies and Gentlemen would you please be upstanding and raise a glass to my new wife “to Susan”

Now to the Bridesmaids.

To my new sister in law Clare and one of Susan's best friends Alison. You both look amazing today.  I'm sure everyone will agree on that.

Thanks for all the love and support you have given Susan over the years and for trying to keep her calm in the lead up to the wedding and over the last 24hrs.  A job I wouldn't envy in the slightest.

Now, I'm not allowed to talk much about the hendoo in Malaga and the one in Glasgow, but I've managed to find pictures from them both on my laptop, so if anyone wants to see them then catch up with me later.

Personally I'm really grateful to you both for the help in all the things I wanted to be involved in but couldn't find the time like Shoes, dresses, hair and flowers etc etc

So, please raise your glasses again for a toast “to the Bridemaids”

Ok, nearly there you'll be glad to know.

To the ushers. Ryan and Freddie and to my new brother in law David who was keeping an eye on the boys.  You all did a great job today!

Your all looking really smart and I'm sure Ryan and Freddie will be popular on the dance floor tonight.  You too David!

Now before I hand you over to the best man, there's one special person I must mention.  Our son Nathan.  It's much more common these days, but it really is special having our son here with us today to celebrate our wedding.

Nathan as your name suggest your truly a gift to us and we love you very much.  You have really helped us reach this day today.

Just remember though, best behaviour for the rest of today, the World Cup Sticker album isn't finished yet or getting that PSG strip that you wanrt from our trip to Paris!  If you're good for the rest of today we might get both of them sorted for you!

Last toast then, to our son “to nathan”

So, that's more than enough from me, it now gives me great pleasure to hand you over to my brother Johnny.

Although can I point out it's a brother from a parallel universe, which cause him to invent stories of another brother from another planet and not me!  He does however believe these stories to be true and I thank you in advance for humouring him during his speech.

Thank you everyone!