Speech by Mark Sanderson

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Mark Sanderson
Speech Date: Sep2005
Hello everyone.

I am told that this is one of the few occasions in a married man's life when he can talk in the company of his wife and his mother-in-law and not be interrupted.

I could be here a while.

My wife and I … would first of all like to offer our sincere thanks to Frank and Eleanor for their generosity and for their help in making today possible. Without them we would not be here and we are very grateful for their support.

Personally, I am delighted to be your son in law and I would like to thank you and your family for making me feel so welcome. I know how precious your only daughter is to you and that she deserves a good husband.

So I thought I'd marry her before she found one.

Today seems to be going very well. Some of you know that I have a reputation for being clumsy, or, as the Hendersons like to say, I am the ‘Master of Disaster’, which I think is unfair. I prefer to say that I am a victim of circumstance because I am usually just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Happily, with Lesley today, I am in the right place at the right time and I am sure that everyone here is as relieved as I am that we survived the church service and this lovely meal without a major incident.

Mind you, it's still early and a lot can happen.

I would like to thank Frank and Eleanor for doing a great job of bringing up such a beautiful daughter and I'm sure everyone will agree that Lesley looks fabulous today.

But I think that every day.

And I would like to thank my parents for their love and encouragement and for the remarkable patience they have shown me over the years. I'm sure they must have wondered at times if today would ever come. They have often told me that they don't mind what I do as long as I am happy, and today, with Lesley and our families and friends gathered here, I am overjoyed.

Lesley would also like to thank my parents for domesticating me from an early age and enabling me to fully participate in household chores such as shopping, cooking and cleaning. What fun.

The service at All Saints church was wonderful and we would like to thank Jonathan for agreeing to marry us, for calming our nerves and for making the ceremony so enjoyable. Thanks also to the organist and to the choir and to Duncan for the reading.

We are very grateful to Lesley's cousins, Stevie and Stuart for playing the pipes for us today. The two of you played brilliantly and the residents of St Andrews must have thought, quite rightly, that something important was happening in town. So, thanks very much to you both.

We would like to thank everyone for coming. We know that many of you travelled long distances to be here and Lesley and I are delighted that you are able to share this special day with us.

We would also like to say thanks for the presents, the cards and the good luck wishes we have received. We are very grateful and I am sure Lesley and I will have a lot of fun deciding what to buy for our house when the time comes.

Love is blind, so they say, and it must be true for Lesley to have married me in spite of my many faults. Lesley has a good way of dealing with this which usually starts with "I don't mean to nag, but…" and my response is usually "Yes, darling."

On the other hand, Lesley has so many fine qualities that it's difficult to put them into words:

[Read slowly] Beauty, charm, compassion, intelligence, modesty …[PAUSE] … I can't read your writing, honey, what does that say?

When I first met Lesley just over two years ago I realised that I had met someone very special and I knew I had to see her again. Unfortunately, true to form, I forgot to ask for her phone number, but after some detective work I found Lesley's address and I sent a card with a romantic message written inside. We started going out a few days after that and suddenly here we are, husband and wife.

[Give tied roses to Lesley]

So I would like to propose a toast to romantic gestures.

Apart from formal duties, it is the best man's job to find something amusing and embarrassing to say about the groom. Well, my life is a catalogue of amusement and embarrassment, and with so much to choose from I can only hope that my best man, Brian, can find it within himself to show mercy, or to at least keep it clean.

Brian graciously agreed to be my best man one Saturday afternoon last December. Well, that's not quite true. We were enjoying a beer when I suggested the idea and Brian accepted — but then he changed his mind — so we had another beer and he changed it back again — but I felt he still had some doubts — so we had another four or five beers before I think I convinced him that he's the best man for the job.

He has certainly proved that today and I would like to take this opportunity to thank Brian for his help, for looking after me and for making sure I got here in one piece. Thank you Brian. Whae's like ye?

We would also like to say a very big thank you to Lesley's goddaughter, Gemma, who has done a wonderful job as a flower girl and who has looked after Lesley so well today.

And finally, since we have no bridesmaids, I would like to propose an alternative toast in the words of Robert Burns:

Now, here's to the lassies
In skirt, dress and sashies.
The kindest of mankind,
‘Til they change their mind!

We'd be lost without them,
just don't try to out-pout them!
But they're quick to concede
It's us that they need!

They tolerate our weakness
And our goofi- and geek-ness.
And they're there by our side,
Not just along for the ride.

So, lads, if you please,
Don't get down on your knees.
But stand and raise your glasses,
And we'll toast the bonnie lasses!