Speech by Mark Stone

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Mark Stone
Speech Date: 19/02/2012 09:06:22

My wife and I would like to say a big thank you to everyone here today, I know this is meant to be our day, but it wouldn't be as special without all of you here. It makes it even more special to know how far nearly half of this room have travelled to be here, from Liverpool, Middlesbrough, Warwickshire, Northants, Wales, Dorset, London, Guernsey and even as far afield as California!! It's around this time when I'd make the joke of ‘it's amazing how far some people will travel for a free meal’ but as I used that at my brothers wedding, for the risk of repeating myself, I'll leave it! But we're both absolutely made up that you could all be here.

We'd also like to thank you in advance for all of your kind cards and gifts, and I would personally like to say in advance of opening them….how amazingly generous you've all been!! But genuinely, thanks.So I'd like to start by thanking my mum and dad, not only for their love and support over the years but also for their financial help with today. I'm sure I had my moments growing up, but they were always there, with patience, to listen and give advice that would set me on the right path. Now I know I rarely, if ever say it, so I thought what better time than in front of all these witnesses than to say I love you both very much, and for those that didn't know, it's actually my mums birthday today, so if we could all raise a glass and wish her a happy birthday, I'm sure it will make her day!

Now anyone who has got married will know how much work and effort is involved in the preparation and planning of a wedding, but I've gotta say, Sarah has been brilliant at it, pretty much doing it single handedly, I mean, I did look up from the tv here and there to nod an approval or two but she has been incredible.

So I'd like to say a couple of thank you's on sarahs behalf, firstly to uncle Phil for agreeing to the honour of giving Sarah away today, it's been a tough time for all the family but I know that she was so pleased you said that you'd do it, so thank you.

And to the bridesmaids, the wonderful Rachel and Sharon, for their help and support over the last few months and obviously today. In my eyes she couldn't have picked two better girls for the job, the both of you mean the world to both of us.

Now to the best men – firstly John, we've been best mates for nearly 35 years and in that time we've had barely a crossed word, from the early days as kids in the park playing football to the clubbing and holidaying years in our twenties trying to pull girls, John and I used to have a virtual unwritten agreement when we went clubbing, John would get the girls and I well, wouldn't! Baffling! To today, where he's always on hand with a little David Brent style advice, but he was, is, and will continue to be, one of the nicest guys you're ever likely to meet. As for my brother….… !! No, seriously, even though he's blood, he's also been a best mate too.

We had a few more arguments than me and John but that's understandable, we're brothers! Like the time you punched me so hard in the mouth, I was eating soup through a straw for a week or the time when I “accidentally” pushed you through that glass door whilst you were trying to put dads smelly slipper in my face!! But that's natural, we're brothers, and anyone who knows him well, will know he's one of the nicest and funniest guys around, always on hand with a humorous quip when you least expect it, and sometimes when you know it's coming, even funnier! He's also someone who I've always been able to rely on for anything……apart from money!So thank you both for two great stag do's, I'll get on to them later!!We'd like you to accept these gifts as a token of our thanks.

I'm sure the best men will say I'm a romantic fool,

who is partial to a poem or two,

And as much as I'd like to deny that fact,

I'm afraid it's all very true!

So Now I'm going to recite to you all a poem that I've written,

All about my life and how one woman has me so smitten,

Its not written like wordsworth, shelley, byron or their kin,

More like every cheesy pop song ever written, if it rhymed, it went in!!

So for those who don't like poetry, please spare me fives minutes of your time,

I'm quite sure you'll find something to later tease me with in the duration of this rhyme!

So at the beginning is where I'll begin the story of our life,

Of how we ended up today where you said “i do” to being my wife.

When we met I had physique, hair and a little bit of money,

Ten years later, a bald head, skint and a slightly rounding tummy!

But in those years it was easy to know as such,

That never has a woman made me laugh so much,

Her wit, her banter, her intelligent ways,

My search was over for whom I wanted to spend the rest of my days.

I'd always hoped my life would turn out like this,

Although maybe having less housework to do wouldn't have gone amiss.

Some old married men call their missus the strife,

That won't be me though, I like the quiet life.

We never ever argue and I can tell you all the key,

She say what's what, and well of course, I agree!

Ive always been there for her through the thin and the thick,

Even when that meant kneeling down beside her holding her hair out of her sick!

But we're so alike in so many ways,

We've laughed and cried together through our best and worst days,

And even when scenarios were at their worst case,

You've somehow always managed to put a smile on my face.

I took on sarahs two lads, who were then very young boys,

My house Turned quickly from batchelor pad to floors littered with toys.

First there is Harvey, clever, witty and ever so polite,

And brave as a lion unless theres a rollercoaster or a wasp in sight!

Then there is Charlie, a very cheeky chappy,

Who's been adventurous, frustrating and loveable, since he was out of his nappy,

But I've loved then as my own from the very first day,

So as that's the case, it's easy to say,

That two better lads, I couldn't wish them to be,

Two successful young men I'm sure we will see.

If I could give you a tiny piece of advice, a little insight,

Please you two Stay off the booze….well, at least for tonight!

As you know, we share a love of  holidays, we're massive travelling fans,

So it was for a future trip that I hatched our engagement plans.

Off we flew to the maldives, the place was an absolute heaven,

It was just a shame that our nights on that lovely island were limited to seven.

But during that week, in a spa, I did decree,

My beautiful wife I asked you to be.

You said YES and we were ready to celebrate in a hurry,

So we did what we do best, and celebrated with a curry!

I'm still reminded most days of that dream holiday from afar,

When I'm drying myself after showering with the towel we pinched from their spa!

Now I know what you're all thinking, that was EIGHT long years ago,

And even by most standards, that's taking it kind of slow!

But when youre marrying a girl like sarah, who's to decide when we wear the wedding ring,

I knew I was in for a long wait, as being decisive just isn't her thing!

Still, eventually this day has come and it's clear for us to see,

To celebrate with our amazing family and friends, there's nowhere else we'd rather be,

It's been a tough eighteen months, we know this is true,

It's heartbreaking to know what sarahs been through.

In that short period of time both mum and dad were sadly gone,

But in our hearts and our minds, their memories live on.

Her dad, a jovial scotsmen always with a grin,

Spent his days on the golf course, trying to get close to the pin.

Her mum, intelligent, strong, kind and brave,

To her family and friends anything she had, she gave.

Now I'd always joked I wouldn't call them mum and dad until,

The day that we wed to make the title real.

But I can call you mum and dad, its official, I'm allowed,

If youre looking down, which i'm sure you are, i'll look after your little girl and make you proud.

So we'd like to take this opportunity to show in our own little way,  

To those no longer with us to share our special day.

If we could all now please just raise a glass,

And remember our loved ones who've now come to pass.

Now I'd like to talk about the stag do,

For there are a few things I'd like to say.

To those who broke the bank to be there for me,

In Marbella on our 3 night stay.

Golfing, sunshine, drinking and partying, great times were a cert,

Each one of you made me laugh so much to the point my sides would hurt!

Did the best men look after you whilst you were away?

I've since heard people utter,

Well, the answer was yes until the saturday night when we found John virtually face down in the gutter!

Next morning he said “I'm never drinking that stuff again, not ever in my life,

So if anyone sees John near a bottle of tequila, could someone please go and fetch his wife!

As for trend and Dean Parkinson, I won't embarrass them with their stories but have no doubt,

If at any stage they start to look a little pale, please get them near a chair for fear they might pass out!

All in all I had the most fantastic weekend it's true,

To those that came, I'd like to say from the heart, legends, every one of you!

Now is where my poem gets soppy for which I know I'll take some stick,

I can call immediately for a bucket in case anyone begins to feel sick!

It soon became apparent in my feelings I couldnt hide,

That when i saw her smile, a warm glow it gave inside,

Each time we bumped in to each other in my heart knew,

That every road I took from there would lead to me smiling saying ‘I do’.

In every beach across the land,

I've carved our names in a heart in the sand.

It was also a heart shape on valentines night,

That I burnt into our dining room table after an accident with a tea-light (or twenty)!

You see, even with disasters, I still try to be a romantic soul,

To please my new wife has always been my one and only goal.

But seriously I stress in all honesty

You're now my wife, you've always been my life, Ands that's more than I dreamt that you would be.

If I could finish with some lines from my favourite Costello song,

I know you're all desperate to hear the best mans speech, so I promise I won't be long.

She may be the reason I survive, the why and wherefore I'm alive.

The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years,

Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears and make them all my souvenirs,

For where she goes I've got to be, the meaning of my life is she.

It may surprise you all to know, that although writing this took me a few months.  Its hard to believe but I didn't get injured picking the pen up once!  All that's left for me to say, as I lift my drink and make way, To my two best men bro and J.D, It's now your long awaited turn, please be gentle on me.

;-)Thankyou.