Speech by Martin Carter

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Martin Carter
Speech Date: Aug 2002
Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that the Wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a privilege and an honour to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let Claire down

Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent, so witty, so popular, so gorgeous and so altogether fantastic…….as Martin…{to Claire}….is this OK so far??

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is, apparently, my job to do all the thank you's. The first and biggest thank-you is to all of you. Thank you all for choosing to share today with us. We are delighted and touched to see so many of you here. And thank you, of course for all the wonderful gifts.

Pete, on the other hand who is picking up the bill for dinner, is completely distraught. When he saw the guest list, with addresses in Ireland, Egypt, the USA, Scotland as well as the four corners of England, he was delighted, since he felt sure that most of you wouldn't make the effort to turn up. Its to his credit that, during his speech you would never have guessed that he is, in fact a broke, or rather a broken, man.

On the subject of his speech I'd like to thank Pete for his kind words. I hope that, as Claire's husband, I can live up to the image he painted of me or, failing that, at least continue to keep pulling the wool over his eyes!!

Claire and I would also like to thank Pete and Bren for all their efforts in organising today. Their support has been invaluable, advice sound and chequebook largely available.

I'd personally like to thank Pete and Bren for making me feel so welcome right from the very second time I met them. I feel immensely fortunate to have married into such a great family. My sincere wish is that together Claire and I can build a home that is as welcoming and as full of love and happiness as Pete and Bren's is…personally speaking I also quite like the idea of five bedrooms, three bathrooms and a big garden too

Of course, Claire is just one of three wonderful daughters that Pete and Bren have produced but on the basis that the best things come in small packages, I believe I have landed the pick of the bunch. Claire loves her sisters dearly and really appreciates the help and support which Elaine and Julie have given her, not just as her bridesmaids today, but throughout her life. I would say shoulder to cry on but, frankly, Claire has never been able to reach that high. Nonetheless, thank you anyway, Julie and Elaine, on behalf of Claire, for all your love and support down the years. And for making me feel so welcome.

Of course the other young lady who played a big part today is our flower girl Bethany, who I'm sure you will all agree not only looked absolutely gorgeous, but also did a great job of handing out the roses at the church.

You probably noticed that the roses, which Bethany was giving out at church, were bought on behalf of the British Heart Foundation. This is a charity very close to our heart's – ‘scuse the pun – because my dad had heart surgery 16 years ago – in fact it was when I was going through my Kevin the teenager years, although I'm sure that's just coincidence.

It is thanks to the work of charities like the BHF that my dad is here today. I can't even begin to tell you just how much it means to me that he is here….and not just because he's paying for the booze.

Mum and Dad, thanks for everything that you have given me during my life. And for all your help in planning today – we couldn't have done it without you. Thanks for bringing me up the way you have, for all of your encouragement and support. But most of all thank you for instilling in me whatever it is that convinced Claire that she wanted to marry me ; on that score alone, I think you can be justifiably proud of yourselves; I am certainly proud to have you as my parents.

There are just a few more people I need to thank….first the two guys sitting at the end of the table, who despite their appearance, aren't bouncers, but are, in fact, my Best Men, Mark and Ernie.

Whilst I was preparing this speech, I came across a website that had a series of questions for brides on it. One in particular caught my eye. The question was “If your groom didn't turn up would you, as tradition dictates, marry the best man”.

According to the results, 80% said no, 12% of the brides said yes, and 8% had said, given half a chance they'd married the best man in the first place. Well, at least I gave Claire plenty of choice….… and what an enviable – or do I mean unenviable – choice it would have been.?

So, I've got two best men. And they have indeed lived up to that billing. When I told people who I had picked there were a few raised eyebrows, as neither of them are particularly renowned for their organisation, planning or timekeeping skills. But in the end my confidence was well placed. The boys have done me proud and have both risen to the occasion – which is, I'm told, a rare and generally unexpected achievement for either of them these days . Guys, thanks very much for all your help and for organising a great stag do which I'm told I enjoyed enormously.

I should perhaps just mention at this point that both Mark and Ernie suffer from a rare medical condition which, makes them are prone to embellishment. They often invent the most fanciful stories, which they sincerely believe to be true. I hope that you will all bear this in mind when they stand up to speak in a few moments.

And so to my penultimate thank you; to Greg and Faye – our ushers and very good friends without whom today might well not have happened, because it was through Greg and Faye that Claire and I met, at University, very nearly a decade ago.

As I said, Claire and I met at University, almost nine years ago. For anyone who knew our university, it will come as no surprise to hear that we first met in “The Pav” – the student union. For anyone who knew Claire at University, it will come as no surprise to hear that, at the time, she was standing at the bar. It was, in fact Claire's very first night at University. Well they do say start as you mean to go on. Claire, however, can't remember meeting me. Obviously the excitement and anticipation of being at University made that whole first evening in the bar a bit of a blur. I'm sure it also explains why she was slurring her words and swaying from side to side slightly as she spoke.

So it took me a few weeks to catch her eye but, when we did eventually get it together, there were fireworks……….it was the 5th November 1992.

Now nearly 10 years might sound like a long time between first date and wedding day. But that is not because Claire and I have been reluctant to make a commitment. Its just that we never quite managed to stay still for long enough. With the exception of Manchester in 1992 and London now, we have always lived a long way from each other – clocking up 15 cities or countries between us. Much of our relationship has been spent on planes, trains and in cars. Surely it has to be more than a coincidence that since we've lived in the same city, British Airways’ profits have plummeted, Railtrack has gone into administration and the oil price has crashed?

But the truth is, is that, even when we have been a long way apart, I have felt that a part of Claire has always gone with me. And that's why asking her to marry me – whilst being the biggest commitment I have ever made – was also the easiest …because above all else, she is my soul mate and my best friend.

So you'll be glad to hear that I've come to my final thank you. Claire, thank you for marrying me. I am devoted to you, I have so much to thank you for, and I love you with all of my heart. You look absolutely stunning today, but then, you look stunning to me every day. It's been a long road, but we got there in the end and I know that whatever the future holds we'll live it happily together.

Of course this doesn't explain WHY it has taken us so long to get married. Well, outside church today, I was talking to one of Claire's friends and she told me that, according to Claire, its all about maturity. She had asked Claire why we were getting married now, after all this time, and Claire's response was this…..…

“Men are like a fine wine. They all start out as grapes. Its our job to stamp on them and then keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with..…

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my eternal good fortune that Claire's taste in wine is cheap, unrefined, and immature.

Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you again for being here today, for the wonderful gifts, for your good wishes and most of all for your friendship now and in the future. Here's to a wonderful evening.…