Speech by Michael Stannard

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Michael Stannard
Speech Date: Jul 2001
Good Afternoon,

The last time I was at a wedding reception I was a best man. I feel as though I've moved from the witness box to the dock…… I wonder if Karen will bring that remark up for the next 50 years?

Well on behalf of my wife and I , I really would like to thank you all for coming today, not least Howard due to the distance he's had to travel – thank you everyone.

Many people have told me how lucky I am to be marrying Karen, including Karen. It's puzzling because they never explained why. What does everybody know that I don't? I guess they must have tasted her quiche too.

But seriously, fortune smiled on me the day we met. I'll always remember because I had a £10 win on the lottery. Little was I to know that about three years later Karen would approach me and ask if I had any ideas about someone who she could have as a lodger. Little did she know that true to form I would put myself first and here we are today.

Most couples on their wedding day describe it as the happiest day of their lives. That worries me because it implies that as from tomorrow there's a lifelong decline ahead, so I'm making the most of today. However, I must say that today I'm so happy that even days less happy could still be blissful.

Now Karen, you thought you knew all the "thank you's" that would be in my speech. Well there's one you didn't know about. I thank you for becoming my lovely bride. You can't help being lovely but you could help becoming my bride.

In my preliminary notes I left a pause after that for anybody who wanted to go "Oh, isn't that sweet". Those who didn't have that reaction probably think it an odd thing for a groom to say publicly. Well, it's because thanking in public not only adds weight to it, but by drawing everybody's attention to where thanks are due it is hoped that the receiver better appreciates it's sincerity.

Which brings me onto our families. Howard, Annette and Kevin I thank you from the bottom of my stomach for providing this lovely day. This excellent reception, the cake, the photographer and everything else you've helped with.

To my mum and dad I extend the same gratitude. I love you both very much and appreciate your help with this evenings festivities. I think it would be fair to say that Karen and I are over the moon- which reminds me of a story I know that has no link with weddings but is one of the few amusing ones I can remember- and it's true!

A friend of mine, Huw, is a successful medical rep.- so successful in fact that last year he won "Rep. of the Year". Now Huw's company is one of the largest in Britain and so when they presented him with the award they had arranged a special surprise for everyone in that they had a guest speaker that would be in keeping with the company's image of being great pioneers in their field. This was no less than Neil Armstrong.

As an extra reward to Huw he actually got to meet Armstrong after and when he did, he told Huw this story.

When Apollo 11 had landed on the moon in 1969, NASSA had televised the images to the world and Neil Armstrong said those immortal words

"That's one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind"

But what he told Huw was that NASSA had actually edited out some of what he'd said and that what nobody else in the world had heard was that he'd gone on to say:

"And good luck to Mr. Sharovsky"

Of course Huw asked what he'd meant by:

"And good luck to Mr. Sharovsky"

Armstrong explained that when he was a little boy growing up in Ohio he lived with his parents in a modest terraced house and that he always remembered, when he was in bed, hearing his next door neighbour Mrs. Sharovsky saying to her husband

" Go to sleep Boris, you've got as much chance of a blow job as the little boy next door walking on the moon."

Well Karen has said a similar thing revolving around England winning the World Cup, and so I'll be watching their game tonight with great interest.

Well as there are no bridesmaids to thank it only remains for me to say how delighted Karen and I are to receive all the generous gifts from you all. This is a time when you feel grateful to have so many relations and friends. Thanks everyone.