Speech by Neil

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Neil
Speech Date: oct 2004
Opening

Distinguished guests, mother, mother-in-law, brothers and sisters-in-law, nephews, nieces, cousins, friends old and new, the unwashed, the unemployed and the unemployable . .
Ladies and gentlemen – bearing in mind that public speaking is a waste of valuable drinking time, the bars open, and a good few of you are well
renowned for liking your pop, I'm sure I will endear myself to you all by keeping this speech brief.

My wife and I would like to thank you all for being here and sharing in the best day of our lives. To have so many of you here to help us celebrate makes this day even more special – if that were possible.

I'll try and avoid the usual Groom's Speech clichés – well, Lou told me to avoid the usual Groom's Speech clichés – but if the odd one slips in, I hope you'll forgive me!

Gerald and Carol

My thanks go to Gerald and Carol for making this day possible and for being much nicer in-laws than I ever expected to have – or, for that matter, than I really deserve!

The warm and friendly way they've treated me has made me feel welcomed into the family, and without their friendship and support, none of us would be here today – and if it wasn't for Gerald, our bathroom still wouldn't be tiled!

I have to thank them both for bringing up such a beautiful and intelligent daughter. Louise is a lovely person. She deserves a good husband.

So I thought I'd best marry her before she found one.

My Parents

I would also like to thank my parents, and I'm so pleased that they and my grandmother could be here tonight – if only to verify with their own eyes that I've finally done the deed!.

Mum and Dad have always loved and supported me through every stage of my life, particularly through the irresponsible stage that seemed to last well into my twenties, and which Louise may argue hasn't ended yet.

So thanks Mum and Dad for all your incredible love and support over many years and for instilling in me, whatever it is that convinced Louise that she wanted to marry me. On that score alone, you should be justifiably proud of yourselves, I am certainly proud to have you as my parents.

Best Man

I'd like to thank Mitch for agreeing to be my Best Man.

Admittedly he was drunk when I asked him, but by the next day it was too late to wriggle out of it!

Mitch and I have been friends now for around 8 years, surviving opposing rugby teams, dodging cricket balls and emptying pub barrels. He's always been there for all his friends, always trustworthy and always first to the bar.

He's also a gifted liar, and I would ask you to bear that in mind when considering anything his speech may allege.

I wasn't even there.

And the sheep concerned dropped the charges.

Tracey & Stuart

Our thanks also have to go to our good friends Tracey and Stuart – to Tracey for ably taking on the role of matron of honour for us, and to Stuart for kindly agreeing to take the photographs of today. We're privileged to count them as our friends.

Louise

So I'd like to turn now to the most important guest here – my beautiful new wife.

(to Lou) Louise, even knowing everything about me, having survived my messiness, geekiness and smelly feet you are still willing to marry me.

I was looking for quotations, something to express how I feel about you, and about today, and I found this one:

“The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed..”

Since our first meeting, our first date, you've shown me that extraordinary thing called love – and you've transformed me by it into the man I am right now, proud and happy to call you my wife.

And to finish this bit with another quote, this time from the Hindu marriage service:

"I am the sky, You are the earth. We are sky and earth united.… You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because
of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind thinks because of you and I shall love because of you."

Jenny and Jason

Finally, as tradition has it I am required to comment on the state of the bridesmaids. I'm also going to break from tradition a bit and include our pageboy as well.

My fantastic stepchildren, Jenny and Jason, have taken time-out from beating each other up to fill these roles today, and I'm sure you'll join me in congratulating them, as they both look wonderful and have done their jobs brilliantly.

Kids, I love you loads and I'm more proud of you than I could ever say. Ladies and Gentlemen – would you please raise your glasses to the Bridesmaid and Page, Jenny and Jason.

Closing

OK I could go on all afternoon, trotting out the usual tired old jokes and fictitious anecdotes – but instead I'm going to leave that to the best man.
So once again thank you all for coming to share today with us, and I hope you'll all join us at the Black Bull for an afternoon of alcoholic debauchery! Cheers!.