Speech by Paul Collinson

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Paul Collinson
Speech Date: 16/07/2010 18:30:27

First of all, on behalf of my wife and I, I would like to thank everyone for coming today, it means so much to us.

Having everyone here we love and care about makes it extra special, so thank you for accepting our invitations and I hope you enjoy your day.

Now, tradition dictates that I am suppose to start off with a witty one liner or a joke as an ice breaker, but I think I am going to give it a miss as its been such and emotional day, I mean look, even the cake is in tears. 

Cheers for that one Dudley – Boats and ho's

Okay I have a few thanks you's

Firstly, Marshall – thank you very much for your kind words and for allowing me to marry your wonderful daughter and accepting me into your family. 

Also Emma & I would like to thank you for funding the festivities today and making it possible for us to have our dream wedding. 

I promise you and Jean that I will look after Emma and make the happiest woman in the world. 

And I agree with what you said just now – Emma looks absolutely stunning today

I am truly a lucky lucky man. PRESENT

I would also like to thank you too Jean for all your help and trips to sort out the cake, the venue, the dress and all the other things you helped with along the way – so here is a small token of our appreciation.  FLOWERS, TOAST MARSHALL & JEAN

I would like to thank my Mum and Dad for raising such a charming, intelligent, handsome son.  Without you 2 I would not be here today, which would have really buggered up the ceremony bit earlier, so thank you.

We would also like to thank you for your generous contribution towards our honeymoon in Mexico.

FLOWERS, TOAST LYNNE & ALAN

I would like to thank our lovely bridemaids Rachael and Sarah for doing such a good job taking care of Emma today and I am sure you will all agree they look absolutely fabulous. FLOWERS, TOAST BRIDESMAIDS  

I would like to thank Cathy and Phil for their readings during the ceremony today,

PRESENTS

I was going to thank Liam for a great stage do and for being my best man, but he ain't done his speech yet so I'll reserve judgement on whether to thank him or throttle him until after his speech. 

Whatever he says to embarrass me, can't be worse than the cardigans and plimsoles he wears to United games, so its all good really.

But in all seriousness, Liam thank you for organising such a great stag do and for looking after me today and for not forgetting the rings. 

I am not sure if I've forgiven you yet for making me wear a pink fairy outfit on my stag do and walking me through the middle of Macc and down canal street in Manchester wearing it, but I am sure that everyone that attended my stag do will agree it was a fantastic day, so thank you Liam. PRESENT (stella)

I would also like to thank my ushers – Mark, Paul, Simon and Phil for ensuring everything thus far has run smoothly.  I have already sorted your gifts, but I have a little something extra for you later. 

Okay, my last thank you is a very special thank to the person that has spent more time than anyone else organising, arranging, checking & double checking, details about our wedding to the point that I even know what time I can go for a wee and how long I have got to eat my meal.

They say organising a wedding is one of the most difficult and stressful jobs on earth, which requires meticulous and painstaking attention to detail to ensure the day goes to plan and the bride and groom can look back on the day for years to come as their perfect day.

I have another gift for you here which I hope will make all the work you have done, worth while    

Come on give Rachael a huge round of applause please.

Okay, now its time for me to say a few words about my Emma

I am so lucky to marry someone that, when she smiles, she makes everyone around her smile too.  That beaming infectious smile – that famous Emma Spearing smile.

I have never known anyone to be so kind hearted as Emma, she would give the contents of her purse to a stranger even if it meant her going without. 

Emma is one of very few people on this planet that is truly beautiful on both the inside and the outside and someone I truly love, respect and will cherish for the rest of my life.

In fact I would go as far as to say that everyone that knows Emma, loves her, so I know I am a very lucky man.

In fact I am the luckiest man on earth just to be alive and here before you today. 

I remember before I proposed to Emma I had to ask Marshall for his daughters hand in marriage, so off I toddled down to the butchers about 3pm in the afternoon expecting everyone to have gone except Marshall so I could have a quiet word. 

To my surprise everyone was still at the shop so I said to Marshall can I have a word in private, “yeah we can go in there” Marshall said pointing to a walk in fridge.

So picture the scene, we are in a sound proof, air tight, cold store room, butchered lambs, pigs and cows all hanging from hooks on the ceiling, Marshall's in his whites, with blood down the front, big cleaver in his hand and then me stood in my suit, shivering, when Marshall says “so what's this all about then?”

At this point the little voice in my head is saying “just tell him you've got him 2 tickets to United v Bolton at Old Trafford and ask him another time”.

But I had gone this far so I told Marshall I wanted to propose to Emma and would like his blessing to which he replied “are you sure?”

Now at first I wasn't sure whether that meant are you sure you want to marry Emma because she can be a bit of handful at times or did he mean that since he had a cleaver in his hand, we are locked in a fridge and I wanted to marry his daughter – did he mean “are you sure you want me to respond to that question?”

So I responded with “I have never been more sure of anything in all my life” and Marshall agreed to let me marry Emma and shook my hand, so thank you Marshall. 

Now before I pass you over to the best man, which is contradiction in terms, because, if he is really the best, then why am I the one that gets Emma?

However before I pass you over the Liam I just have a short verse I have penned about my beautiful bride, which is entitled – “I love you because”   

Emma

I love you because

Of the person you are, you light up the darkness like the earth by our star

I love you because

Of your sex appeal, so stunning, so sultry, no make up, all real

I love you because

You are giving and kind, and putting you first is the last on your mind

I love you because

You work hard and are good, in aiming to please you give sweat and give blood

I love you because

Of things that you say, except sit and roll over are for Buddy I'd say

I love you because

Of your fantastic style, with the jewel in the crown, that big beaming smile

I love you because

You can't tell a lie, you say what you think and you're certainly not shy

I love you because

You make me so happy, first our love, then all this and next it's a nappy

I love you because

Your smile shines like gold, and I hope you're still smiling when we're frail and old

I love you because

You're the light of my life, which will burn on forever now you're my wife

I love you because

You are honest and true, and how real you sound when you say “I love you”

I love you because

You're a friend & a lover, your touch is so tender and your kiss like no other

I love you because

Of the way that you look, so silky, so sexy, so ready to ffff….cook

I love you because

All the things that you say, with my all time favourite, your “I will” today

I love you because

At last you're my wife, the joy that you give me will last me my life

I love you because

All the things that you do, but mostly I love you for just being you.

NOW I WOULD NOW LIKE TO PASS YOU OVER TO MY BEST MAN WHO I HAVE KNOWN SINCE HE WAS A LITTLE TOT RUNNING AROUND IN JUST A UNITED SHIRT WITH HIS TINY TODGER HANGING OUT FOR ALL TO SEE,

SO PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR THE BEST MAN, LIAM HADFIELD