Speech by Peter Elliston

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Peter Elliston
Speech Date: Jun2005
Thank you Mick for those extremely kind words. I hope I come up to scratch!

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history. This is the very first and very last time that Nicola is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us and it is both a privilege and an honour to do so. So on behalf of my wife and I… I can say that now…..[Pause] – welcome to our wedding reception!

I have been told that a good speech should be like a miniskirt…
Short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the essentials.
With this in mind I will try to be brief. However, I do have one or two things I'd like to say and many people to thank, so please sit back, relax – Loosen your clothing if it helps – but don't start trying to loosen anybody else's – I'm afraid it's not that kind of party.

I – after all – did have a great speech worked out for you today, but as I am now married, my wife has told me what to say instead.

Seriously, we hope you're all enjoying yourselves on this special day. We certainly are!

It's great to see you all and I can honestly say it wouldn't have been the same without you – a lot cheaper without you – but that's beside the point. We hope you are all having a great time.

Firstly, a very special thanks to Mick and Jean – my new in laws – for making this day possible. Without their help and support, none of us would be here today. Mick's been working 8 days a week to give us this perfect day, so when you see him up at the bar later, dig deep – he really deserves a beer………or champagne even to celebrate offloading Nicola!!

You both welcomed me into your family from day one, and have fed me ever since and for this I thank you. I hope I can be everything you want from a son-in-law.

Now onto my parents. Pat and Brian. You have always been there for me when I needed you most. Thanks for all your love, support and guidance over the years which have made me the person I am today so thank-you,
And to everyone else, you can blame them!

I hope today that I have made you both proud to call me your son.
As a token of Nicola's and my appreciation for our wonderful mums and all their hard work in the build up to today and the years passed before, here are some flowers – as you can both probably guess we didn't grow them in our garden!
[Flowers to mums]

And now to you lot! You rabble! Thank you for your presence, in both senses of the word. Incidentally, John Lewis also sends their appreciation.

Thank you for choosing to be part of our special day and making it that bit more special. It's great to see so many of you, all here together. Biggest journey today has been made by Ian and Tracy Taylor from the far reaches of Scotland. But however far or short your journey was, a sincere thanks from both of us for coming. I never knew you could all brush up so well. Whilst it's amazing the lengths some people will go to for a free party, it's really great to see you all here. Give yourselves a round of applause – you deserve it…!

While we're on the subject, how about a round of applause please for Colin and his entourage of cooks, waiters, waitresses, runners and groupies – they have all done an amazing job here today. The food was absolutely delicious and you've made the Barn look absolutely beautiful! So from both of us a sincere thanks.

Talking of "delicious & beautiful" (pause – look briefly towards bride, then towards bridesmaids, then…) the ushers Darren, Jon and Alex, are neither, but they have done a wonderful job today. I felt they leant a certain nightclub doorman respectability to the whole occasion and I admired the way they searched the ladies’ handbags going into the church with such discretion and subtlety. Thank you boys.

And now onto my stunning new wife. Nicola – you look absolutely gorgeous today. I expected you to look wonderful, but nothing prepared me for what I saw as you walked up the aisle. Never have I seen you looking so beautiful. I was overwhelmed to say the least. I think everyone will agree that Nicola looks absolutely stunning.

To me even when Nicola lounges at home in her pyjamas and slippers, she is a sight to behold! You see, Nicola always dresses to kill; it's just a pity she sometimes cooks the same way!

In the three years we've been living together now, I've learned one very valuable lesson (only one…!),

Whenever you're Wrong – Admit It! Whenever you're Right – Shut up!
As soon as we got together – once she realised that I wasn't in fact the DHL delivery bloke at work! – I soon realised that things were certainly going to be different and a lot more fun than ever before.

Expressions such as, “You mean the moon isn't the sun at night?!” and – whilst watching the weather – “So if that's England, where does Wales fit in?” have been known to pass her lips. And then there was the time that she exclaimed to her mum, “why are all those cars and lorries flashing and bibbing me – they're the ones on the wrong side of the road” as Nicola realised that driving back down the slip road at junction 12 onto the M1 wasn't in fact the quickest shortcut to Woburn! Another favourite came on an overnight flight to America as she exclaimed to the businessman sat next to her “Isn't the moon bright tonight and look how close it is…” “That'll be the light on the wing…” came his bemused reply!
Then one day I thought to myself – “I don't want this to ever end” and that ladies and gentlemen is why we're all here today. 2 years ago, I plucked up the courage to ask Nicola to marry me and well the rest is history…

Nicola, my wife………you have made today the best day of my life. You're my best friend and I love you with all that I have. I hope that I can make you as happy as you make me.

A friend in Nicola, is a friend for life as many of you in this room already know. As she did in church today, when she walks into a room she truly does light it up. Beautiful, generous, Aside to Nick – “Can't read your writing hun, what does this say??!…oh right..

Intelligent… and funny, … I would like everybody here, especially my new bride, to know how lucky and proud I am to be standing here speaking to you as her husband.

And to requote something you all read today in Church “This day, I will marry my Friend, The one I laugh with, live for, dream with, Love.” Well today – I certainly have.

Anyway moving on…
[To Nicola – was that enough?!)

A special thanks to the youngest person in the Barn today – Tom – our nephew and Page Boy. I swear I recognise those cheeky good looks and bright blonde hair on some photos hanging up in my mum's house. Tom – you're a lucky man! Here's a little pressie for you for being such a star.
Every wedding has bridesmaids but not every bride and groom-to-be are lucky enough to be as spoilt for choice as we have been. Sharon, Nicola's best friend, you look fantastic. I want to thank you for all the support you've given to Nicola today, in the run up today and in particular for making Nicola's Hen Do in Malaga such a fantastic time. I understand the locals are still getting over it!

Hannah, Charlotte and Rachael – our beautiful three nieces – you all also look fantastic. I expect to see all of you appearing in wedding magazines across the country very soon!

Most of all we want to thank you for blending in so well with the flowers and table decorations!

Ladies and gentlemen, it is both my honour and duty to ask you all now to stand and please charge your glasses and toast all four of our lovely bridesmaids…
The bridesmaids!

As a token of our appreciation, we have some presents for you so if you'd all like to come up and see Auntie Nick Nick!

For those of you that don't know Rob and Taz – my best men – they're these really relaxed looking chaps over here. Many of you may not have been to a wedding with two best men and may think it odd I have. Basically when you have two stars in your life like these– it's impossible to choose and … well I didn't want to…

I'll finish for now by introducing each one in turn – basically so that I can stitch up Taz a bit later!

Firstly my brother Rob – what can I say? You're my brother and I love you. Thanks for being you. You've been absolutely fantastic today and everyday and I was proud as punch to have you up there by my side in Church today. So, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you my big bruv – the first best man – Mr Robert Elliston!!!

Thanks for that Rob – you're an absolute legend.

And so onto the next victim! Taz… my best friend. We met at uni 8 years ago and have been causing havoc together ever since. Taz is the kind of friend that doesn't come round very often – thank god. Strange and unnecessarily long surname aside, a true friend is someone that doesn't only enjoy the good times with you but someone who get's you through the rough ones aswell. Taz I owe you for so much – I hope today goes someway to repaying everything.
I have no idea what stories he is planning on telling you about me, and frankly I'm worried. As my character is so unblemished he may have to resort to making something up. So please take anything he tells you with the appropriate pinch of salt.

Anyway, that's just about it for me so thank you and enjoy the rest of the day!

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you, the other half of the most dynamic best man duo – Mr Anastasios Papa… (look at script!)……whatsisface!