Speech by Ross Gowland

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Ross Gowland
Speech Date: Oct2004
Thanks for the kind words Bruce, I'll pay you later. (PAUSE)

Well…(PAUSE)

I've had plenty of time to think about today's special event and in particular the moment when I would have to do my bit, the groom's speech.

I've done a little research on the Internet about such occasions, and found that in a survey unsurprisingly; right at the very top in terms of people's fear factors is ‘public speaking’, specifically wedding speeches.

Part of my work involves giving presentations. In normal circumstances this would not be a problem. However if I look a little nervous at present, it's because I am. Let's just say this isn't the first time today I've stood up from a warm seat with a piece paper in my hand. (PAUSE)

Moving swiftly on…

My first thoughts about the speech was to do it completely off the cuff without any prompts or preparation but I realised that not only will this be my ‘one and only’ time do it justice, but more importantly clearly express my thoughts and feelings so please forgive me as I've prepared a few notes.
(Shake the papers – PAUSE)

So, Ladies & Gentlemen, distinguished guests, in laws, outlaws, friends and
anyone else I have not mentioned, My wife and I…(PAUSE) would like to start by welcoming you all to our wedding breakfast! We both hope you have a wonderful day and evening in helping Sarah & I celebrate our special day. (PAUSE)

You are about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that Sarah is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. (PAUSE)

It is a privilege and an honour to do so and I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let Sarah down.

It is, apparently, my job to do all the thank you's. But before I start, I would like to give you a very short history lesson.

Today, the 18th September has many things to be remembered for. In 1502 Christopher Columbus landed at Costa Rica on his 4th & last voyage. On this day in 1809 the Royal Opera House in London opened. In 1851 the NY Times started publishing and the cricketing world saw David Boon hit his 3rd Test cricket century, 122 vs. India at Madras in 1986. And a very fine knock it was as well. But more importantly from a biased point of view, in 2004 Sarah & I got married. (PAUSE)

Today will also be remembered as the day you heard one of the finest wedding speeches ever given. Which my best man Chris will deliver after this one. So no pressure Chris. (PAUSE)

On a serious note, the first people I would like to mention are those members of both sides of the family who are unfortunately no longer with us. Both Sarah & I would have loved for them to be have been here to share our day. Wherever they are, I am sure they are watching and enjoying the day unfold. (PAUSE)

Secondly may I thank you all on behalf of Sarah and I for being here today to help us celebrate. It's a pleasure to see you all; some of you have made significant efforts to be here today which we both really appreciate whilst others have travelled from as far a-field as deepest darkest Thatcham.
Thank you all for being here today (PAUSE)

I must also thank you all for the cards, kind thoughts and wonderful presents. In particular I would like to add thanks for the 14 day Caribbean cruise, (PAUSE) I say would like to thank, but as no one got us one, I can't.

(PAUSE)

It's at this point I would like to turn our attention to our parents. (PAUSE)
(DIRECT AT BOTH SETS OF PARENTS)
Sarah and I would like to thank both sets of parents for all their unconditional love, support and advice dispensed over the years not to mention any financial help we may have received since we were young. For also putting up with us and pointing us in the right direction, the list is endless. But I would just like to break it down slightly.

(PAUSE – DIRECT AT LYN & BRUCE)

Lyn & Bruce I would like to personally thank you for everything you have done for me and for welcoming me so openly into your family. You both are great parents to Coral, Steven & Sarah. (PAUSE)

Lyn, from the start you have put up with my constant mickey taking, without resorting to violence and have provided some fantastic home cooking for me which as you can see I am sporting today so thank-you (PAT STOMACH).

I'd also like to thank Bruce who has never let his deep suspicion of anyone who doesn't follow Arsenal get in the way of accepting me as someone who might just be good enough for his daughter.

I am very proud to be able to say I am your son-in-law and I will do my best to live up to your expectations. I truly hope that our life as a married couple is as happy as yours.

(PAUSE – DIRECT TO MUM & DAD)

Of course it would be remiss of me not to thank my parents for my upbringing and the sacrifices they have made for me. They should undoubtedly receive a
medal for endurance.

Without my Mum I would never have passed my spelling tests at primary school or Textiles GCSE. Discovered the music of the Hollies or watched ET or Transformers at the cinema. (PAUSE)

Without my Dad's help I would support a successful football club and would be unable to see the attraction of Yorkshire pudding and treacle sponge & custard, which is a downfall of mine! (PAUSE)

On a sincere note, I would like to thank them both for always being there for me; always backing me in whatever I wanted to do and importantly letting me make my own choices in life. I love you both very much and I'm very proud to have you as my parents.

I think Sarah is as lucky to have you as her new family as she is unlucky to be stuck with me for the rest of her life.

At this point I would like to give a gift to both of our Mum's. Tradition
says we should give flowers, but Sarah and I wanted to give you something
more permanent. So we are getting you a tattoo each! (PAUSE)

Only kidding, these are just a small token of our thanks for always being
there.

(GIVE FLOWERS TO MUMS)

(PAUSE)

My most important thank you must go to my wife.

(DIRECT TO SARAH)

Sarah, thank you for marrying me. I am devoted to you, I have so much to thank you for, and I love you with all of my heart. Sarah has many qualities that are admirable (far to many to name in full). In short, she's kind, considerate and fun to be with. She's beautiful and looks absolutely stunning today, as I'm sure everyone will agree and I know that whatever the future holds we'll live it happily together.

She's my best friend, my confidante, my conscience and most importantly, if I take Sarah to Burger King then I can order two Whoppers without looking like a total porker. (PAUSE)
Seriously though, the term ‘better half’ doesn't come close to doing Sarah justice. I suppose every groom thinks his bride is the most beautiful in the world and I'm no different. I'm completely overwhelmed at how fantastic she looks, and feel very lucky to be her husband. (PAUSE)
I recently read a short verse written by a chap called Wilfred A. Peterson called The Art Of Marriage.
I would like to read this for Sarah, but I feel the sentiments apply equally to us all.

THE ART OF MARRIAGE
A good marriage must be created.
In art of marriage the little things are big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say, "I love you," at least once each day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in
thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is not only marrying the right partner,
It is being the right partner.

Sarah, in front of all our friends and family I promise I will try my best to practice this art. OK I think that's enough of the romantic stuff for the time being (PAUSE)

Outside the church today, I was talking to one of Sarah's friends and she told me that, according to Sarah, it's all about maturity. She had asked Sarah why she was happy to marry me, and Sarah's response was this…

“Men are like a fine wine. They all start out as grapes. It's our job to stamp on them and then keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with… Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my eternal good fortune that Sarah's taste in wine is cheap, unrefined, and immature. Only joking love. (PAUSE)
Okay, I think everyone's had enough of me waxing lyrical about how perfect my bride is now…(LOOK AT SARAH)…No? Another five minutes?…Okay… (PAUSE)
Since Sarah & I have been together many of you have helped us in one-way or another. There are far too many of you to thank individually today. Needless to say, you know who you are and thank you. (PAUSE)

We'd also like to thank everyone who has helped put today together, again we'd like to say a very big thank you including Peter Browning our wedding planner within the hotel.

However, there is one special person I would like to single out from today though for special thanks. Aunty Anne where are you? (PAUSE)

Anne has been fantastic to us in the sense that our wonderful wedding cake you see today was made by Anne. As a token of our appreciation, Sarah & I would like you to come and receive some flowers. (PAUSE)

OK I'm nearly done now, honest. (PAUSE)

I would now like to thank the bridesmaids, who have all done a great job
today. Amy, Heather, Willow and Natalie I really want to say a big thank you for being part of, not only the big day, but also the preparations with the
dress fittings. Amy, thank you for looking after the younger ones.

I also can't forget my little friend Charlie who has done a wonderful job of being our Page Boy today.

(FACE THE FLOOR)
I'm sure you'll all agree they look great? (PAUSE)

As for the ushers…I'd like to thank Simon, Robert & Callum for doing a fantastic job in ensuring everyone was looked after at the church and pointed in the right direction on arrival here.

(TOAST)
I'd like to propose a toast. Can I ask you all to be upstanding to toast the bridesmaids, pageboy and ushers? (PAUSE)

Can they all come to the front, as Sarah & I would like you to accept a gift as a token of our appreciation and a reminder of your involvement today.

(PAUSE)

Now for those of you who are still awake, you have probably been reduced to staring in wonder at the magnificent creature sitting at that end of the table. (POINT TO CHRIS)

That's Chris, my best man.

Earlier he attempted to hand me a whole script of nice wonderful comments that I should tell you about him.

Unfortunately, all this has done is reinstate my firm belief that he is a
compulsive liar and anything that he tells you should not be believed for
one minute. (PAUSE)

(DIRECT @ CHRIS…JOKE – SAY IT SLOW)
Seriously, Chris, I could not think of anyone who I would rather have as Best
Man for my wedding
…no seriously I couldn't…I tried…but they were all busy. (PAUSE)

It's nearly a decade ago when I first met Chris at University and during the time we've known each other it's fair to say I couldn't wish for a better friend. He's been a shoulder to moan on, a house to stay at, and of course a great drinking compatriot over the years.

I suppose I should sceptically also thank him for scraping together the motley crew of reprobates who participated in my Stag do; I understand I had a great few days. (PAUSE)

Between Chris and the other members of the party, it's fair to say I returned home quite literally a broken man, as Sarah will confirm for me. (PAUSE)

Sincerely, Very special thanks must go to Chris for his commitment to playing his role as best man today. For those of you who are unaware, Chris lives and works in America and has on numerous occasions flown back to the UK for a day or two whenever it's been required to help us in preparation for today.

Chris has so far helped the day run swimmingly, and as I said before, I couldn't have asked more of a best man. I am really pleased that he agreed to be here in this role today. We have, of course, got him a little present to say thank you, but I have to say Sarah's tempted to keep hold of it until she's heard your speech…(LOOK AT SARAH) no, oh all right then (HAND GIFT TO CHRIS)

(PAUSE)

Now for some strange reason, custom says that the Groom has to present his defence before he's had the opportunity of hearing the Best Man making the case for the prosecution.

I have no idea what stories he is planning on telling you about me, and it's been troubling me somewhat. I can't recall *ever* doing anything embarrassing, foolhardy or immature, and so he might have to resort to making something up.

So prepare to suspend your disbelief for the next few minutes, as you listen to the Best Man's speech. Please give a warm applause for my Best man, Chris Lamb.

(SIT DOWN – JOB DONE, HAVE A DRINK!)