Speech by Simon Pass

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Simon Pass
Speech Date: Feb2005
Welcome to all of you and on behalf me of my beautiful Wife, thank you so much for sharing our special day.

When Rebecca last quizzed me about my speech she listed the things I wasn't allowed to say. As it's such an amusing list I'll read it out to you! Only joking my dear!

I'd first like to thank Peter for those kind words, I am very proud to be your son-in-law.

I hope I can live up to your expectations. I would sincerely like to thank Peter and Alex for welcoming me into their family and, on many occasions, into their home, and also for bringing up such a wonderful daughter and for giving me your blessing to marry Rebecca.

In addition, due to the number of phone calls between Becca and Alex over the wedding, BT would also like to thank you both.

I'll never forget the occasion when I asked Rebecca's parents for her hand in marriage. Alex's reaction was quite unforgettable, she said and I quote: ‘God I feel so Old!’

Of course having been granted her hand in marriage I also get her feet and the 14,000 pairs of shoes that go with them.

So having released Rebecca from the dark satanic mills and cobbled streets of Newbury, Alex and Peter allowed me to take her to the bright lights and sophistication of Bracknell……………Sorry Warfield!

She has since transformed my bachelor pad more efficiently than Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen and handy Andy!

Thanks to Peter and Alex for all their help and support with the wedding, even Peter broke off from one or 2 of his major manly engineering projects to pitch in with delicate cake work etc. But it is Alex, who has put in endless hours into the design and execution of this wedding and here is a small token of our appreciation. (GIVE PRESENT)

By the way Peter I haven't forgotten, I'll sign that receipt for you. Peter has written out a receipt for me, and it reads;

Received one daughter, in perfect condition, fully guaranteed, fully warranted.

Care notes: can sometimes emit a loud shrieking noise, gets bored easily, keep busy with constant supply of chores.

She comes complete with all extras, i.e .the 14 thousand shoes and 20 thousand pretty little tops.

Not to be outdone, my Dad has also has a receipt for Rebecca to sign it reads;

Received one son, sold as seen, mileage not guaranteed, no refunds under any circumstances. Answers to the name of Simon or ‘Oy you!’

Care Notes: de-hydrates easily, top up regularly with Gevry Chambertin or real ale.

Regularly buy him new motorbikes or bits for his car. Don't go near his toys!

Can't fault your advice there Dad!

Mum and Dad, what can I say, you are both truly wonderful, thanks for all your love and guidance. Thank you for your support in the bad times and for sharing the very best of times. But most of all, thank you for instilling in me, whatever it is that convinced Rebecca that she wanted to marry me;

On that point alone, I think you can be justifiably proud of yourselves.

I am certainly proud to have you as my parents.

Mum here is a present for you. PRESENT FOR MUM

Nan, thank you for being simply wonderful, we're both so thrilled that you're able to share our special day. Thank you for supporting me through my life and teaching me the difference between right and wrong, so that I know which I am enjoying at any given time!

To Fan & Rhona.

Rebecca has come up with some wonderful ideas for today, although the look of sheer panic on her Mothers face when she announced she wanted not 1 cake but 100 was a sight to behold. However after 2 long weekends of rose construction and cake making I think you'll agree the result was well worth it. We would both like to thank Fan and Rhona who gave up so much time to help Alex in the creation of the cake tower. Here is a small token of our appreciation for both of you. PRESENTS.

A huge thank you to Dave Russell, who was given the honorary task of ‘official cake deliverer’. I'll bet it's the slowest trip from Newbury he has every made! Just think of the consequences if he left Alex 2 hours to come up with 100 more cakes. That really would have been ‘death by chocolate’

Jon, not only is Jon the official camera man he was also in touch with his feminine side as he helped put ribbons round boxes. Scarily, he was rather good at it and seemed to be enjoying it a little too much.

Liz Andrews. Where can I start to thank you? To our matchmaker and partner in crime as we tried to keep our relationship a secret from other work colleagues. We so glad you could be with us to see the end result of your efforts. Thank you is simply not enough!

Scat, what can I say, you are a wonderful Brother and a true best man. There is in fact only 18 months between us so I've always has a little friend to get into as much trouble as I did.

It seems only yesterday that he was trying to keep up with the big lads, but when he'd get to the point where it was all too much he would simply fall asleep on the job. His girlfriend tells me that not much has changed!

Thanks for a great stag do. If I could remember it, it would have been unforgettable! I'm told I had a great time. Here's a small token of our appreciation.

Thanks to all the rest of the lads, too many to mention but I remember a golden moment or two with all you and they are moments to cherish forever.

Thanks for all the recent wedding rehearsals, from Jason and Kate in October last, Jon and Nicky in February, Richard and Heather in March and Karen and James only last month. It seems weddings are in deed back in vogue! At this rate I'll never have to pay for a meal again!

Also we wish Abi and Dan all the very best for their big day in July.

Special thanks to Sammy who spent countless hours designing the wedding stationary.

Thanks to all of Rebecca's girls, you are without doubt truly great friends and it never ceases to amaze me how much love and support you give to Rebecca. Knowing how protective you are of her I am honoured that you accepted me into her life.

It was truly incredible that you surprised her with a life time's trip to New York for her 1st Hen night; it was also unsurprising that I was once again left home as she went off to another exotic location with the girls.

I promise to continue to make her as happy with me, as she is with you, her truly great friends.

To the two chaps who greeted you when you all came in, they may look like bouncers but they are in fact our ushers Steve and Stuart, thanks for keeping out the scruffy ones. Please step forward for a liquid treat. PRESENTS

Liz, or Elisabeth as her father keeps reminding us, the chief bridesmaid, thank you for performing your duties so well today Thank you for being a wonderful Sister to Rebecca, for all your support during her life and putting up with her tantrums. Also, if your card business takes off and you become rich, will you still talk to us? Here's a small token of our appreciation. PRESENT

Dear little Megan, how pretty was she in that dress? Ahhh! What can I say about Megan? She has truly melted both our hearts. One of our first dates was Megan's christening and she continues to bring joy to both ours and her parent's lives. Here is a little present for you.

Thanks to Carol and Stuart for lending her to us today and we wish you both lots of luck and love for the new baby next month. As usual you two can take all the expense and we can borrow either of them as we see fit.

And at this point, Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding. I would like to propose a toast to the bridesmaids.

Thank you to all the wonderful staff at the swan.

And finally, to my beautiful bride, Rebecca. She is the most wonderful event in my life so far and there isn't a day that goes by when I don't pinch myself as I can't believe that despite my shortcomings she still loves me.

Knowing her has meant knowing love for the first time and at 26 (I was 36 at the time so got a laugh) , that's quite late in life to discover it.

Our first meeting, well you probably all know that we met at work and she first asked me for a spin in my car.

Interestingly, she hasn't been back in it since, which leads me to believe that she was really after my body!

They say you don't marry someone you CAN live with – you marry the person who you CANNOT live without which is very true with Becca.

Whilst looking forward and preparing myself for today I wasn't prepared enough for when I saw her walk down the aisle with such elegance and grace.

I was overwhelmed to the say the least by how beautiful she looked.

I suppose I should be used to it now as Becca always dresses to kill, unfortunately she cooks the same way too.

And that's why asking her to marry me – whilst being the biggest commitment I have ever made – was also the easiest ………..because above all else, she is my soul mate and my best friend.

Rebecca, I am devoted to you, I have so much to thank you for and I love you with all of my heart.

So I'd like to propose a toast.

To my bride: she knows all about me and loves me just the same

To Rebecca.

Well I could stand here and give you a load more old jokes, but instead I think I'll leave that to my best man who has cut his speech by quite a lot so as not to be Mortlakes’ first case of foot ‘IN’ mouth disease.

And just remember he's never been one to let the truth get in the way of a good story….…

Ladies and gentlemen thank you from both me and Rebecca and please enjoy the rest of the day.