Speech by Stuart Henderson

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Stuart Henderson
Speech Date: oct 2004

START

Thank-you Mel for those kind words
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen

I'm sorry about the bits of paper but as most of you can see I am wee bit nervous about my speech today. Suffice to say this is not first time today I've risen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

My speech today will be like a mini skirt –
Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your
interest. So I know most of you are keen to get to the bar, especially me! So I'll get on with it!!

[DRINK]

This morning as I arrived at the hotel, I was walking down the hotel corridor I passed this old bloke who said “It's a rare morning”, and I thought to myself “You have no idea”!!!

So…..on behalf of my wife and I ………

[PAUSE]

I would like to start by thanking everyone for coming and sharing this special day with Nicola and I. I would also like to thank everyone here for all your kind wishes, cards and presents. Not to mention my best man for getting out of bed before lunchtime on a Sunday, I know that must have been hard for you mate!

[PAUSE]

Seriously, I hope you're all enjoying yourselves on this special day. It's great to see you all and I can honestly say it would have been rubbish without you. It would also have been a lot cheaper without you, but that's beside the point. We both hope you are all having a great time.

TO MY BEAUTIFUL BRIDE – NICOLA

Right where am I, ah of course, my beautiful wife Nicola.

I would like to say to Nicola how gorgeous you look today. I expected you to look wonderful, but nothing prepared me for what I saw as you walked down the aisle. I think everyone will agree that Nicola looks absolutely stunning.

I would like everybody here, especially my new bride, to know how lucky and proud I am to be standing here speaking to you as her husband.

To me even when Nicola lounges at home in her dressing gown with her hot water bottle and pink fluffy slippers, she is a sight to behold! You see, Nicola always dresses to kill; it's just a pity she sometimes cooks the same way!

Only kidding babe!

We have been planning this wedding for about a year now, although it seems like a lifetime. Well, I say "we", really Nicola and Carol did all the work, Mel was left with the bill and I just agreed to sort out the weather……

(If hot add: and might I say a good job has been done, it wasn't easy but nonetheless I made a nice sunny day)

(If cold add: And I even got that wrong.)

[DRINK]

CAROL & MEL

Which now leads me on to the in-laws……?

Now I know what they say about in-laws, especially about the Mother in Law and contrary to all the horror stories that you hear there really not that bad…..!

There worse!!!!

When I met Carol and Mel for the first time I don't know what they quite thought of me but am sure I had them fooled.

It was a rainy Wednesday night about seven o’ clock when I went up to ask Mel's’ permission for his daughters hand in marriage. Now traditionally it's normally man to man but with Carol sitting right next to him on the couch I thought it would be a bit cheeky if I told her to get out!! So I did what I had to do with a good result might I add and left feeling very proud of myself..…

You see this was the first time that I had ever made a grown man cry!!

Needless to say Nicola accepted my proposal and before I had time to blink Carol had organised the entire day! This I think you will agree shows the measure of love she has for her daughter.

I am sure you will all agree Ladies and Gentlemen that today has been a great success. This simply would not have been the case without the support and generosity of Mel and Carol of which we will be forever grateful. I would also like to personally thank Mel and Carol for making me feel so welcome into their family.

And one last thing before I move on.…

Isn't it funny how history repeats itself? Almost 24 years ago Carol and Mel were putting Nicola to bed with a dummy……………And now it's happening all over again!

My MUM and DAD

Thanks also to my parents for everything and I think they know what I mean by everything. As well as pretending to forget about all the little
things sons do that are best forgotten about. They have always given me the best opportunities in life and been incredibly generous.

As we were having our pictures taken earlier on Nicola was telling me, that my Dad had handed her a receipt this afternoon. It read……

“Delivered, one son as promised,

Sold as seen,

No refunds under any circumstances.

We've redecorated the room and changed the locks, so you're stuck with him.

Dehydrates easily: top up with beer frequently!”

Thanks for that Dad!!!

Now just before I move on, the Master of Ceremonies has a little something for the Mums……As for the two Dad's your getting Hew Haw, I'll just see you at the bar later!

BRIDESMAIDS – LAURA – CHRISTINA – NICOLE

They say Dreambirds is an anagram of Bridesmaids.…

[DRINK]

I know it isn't but it should be!!

I would like to give a big thank you to the Bridesmaids, Laura and Christina
for firstly performing their role so gracefully, and for looking fantastic
throughout the day. And Of course the other young lady who played a big part today is Nicole, who I'm sure you will all agree, not only looked absolutely gorgeous, but fulfilled her role perfectly.

Thank you both for keeping Nicola calm over the past 24 hours. I know from personal experience, that it wouldn't have been easy! Thank god its bad luck for the Groom to see the Bride before the wedding, I don't think I could have handled it!!

Nicola has asked me to thank you both for all the effort that went in to making her hen weekend a great success and although the memories may be blurred they will last a lifetime.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding. I would like to propose a toast to the bridesmaids!

…… the bridesmaids

USHERS- SMILEY – KORKY – GREG

Now, from Top Birds to Top Blokes: the Ushers.

A special thank you to the ushers, David, Christopher and Greg, it couldn't of been easy telling this lot what to do and where to go.

I was told there is an unwritten wedding rule that no one is allowed to look more handsome than the groom.

Thanks for sticking by it lads.

Great job today, Cheers!

BESTMAN – DAVIE C

And now for the bestest man…..David Collins!!

I find it to be quite ironic that I am supposed to speak highly of my Best Man and our friendship, knowing that just minutes from now he will be doing his up most to embarrass me!

When I told people who I had picked there were a few raised eyebrows, David is not particularly renowned for his organisation, planning or timekeeping skills.

But in the end my confidence was well placed. David mate you have done
me proud and have risen to the occasion – which is, I'm told, a rare and
generally unexpected achievement for him.

Many people don't know that David suffers from a disability, which causes him to invent fanciful stories. He really does believe these stories to be true and I thank you for humouring him during his speech.

David thank you for being the best man and for being a great friend.

Cheers!!

FINISHING UP

Just as I was getting into the swing of things, I'd like to close with a quote on what marriage means in these modern times.

And I think I have found the perfect one.

It is from the big man,
The true light,
My guiding spirit,
The one who has a following of millions.

Mr Homer Simpson.

When asked what marriage should be like he responded,
“Marriage is like being married to your best friend”
“And she lets you play with her boobs”

And with that I now give you the best man!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!