Speech by Stuart Houghton

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: Stuart Houghton
Speech Date: Aug 2009
Ladies &amp Gentlemen I am about to say 4 little words that I don””t think my mother thought would ever cross my lips. ””My wife and I”” .…

We are both so grateful and would like to thank each and every one of you for the amount of effort you have made to be here to celebrate our marriage.
We know many of you have travelled a long way but there are a few who I deserve a special mention, Phil &amp Koi from Singapore, Steph from France and Buster literally stepping of a plane from Kansas this morning, who will probably be found in the corner later with ””Jet lag””!
To everyone we hope that this day is enjoyable for you as it is special to us. Thank you all for coming.

Before I get into the nitty gritty there are a number of people you do deserve a special thank you for making this day happen.

I””m going to start with the weather gods who get a quick Mention in Dispatches although they were heading for a Victoria Cross at one stage. Hopefully they will be kind to us this evening.

Naturally, I am extremely grateful to Zoe””s parents, not only for their generosity today but also for introducing and then allowing me to marry their daughter. Two things I always thought were mutually exclusive.
Their hospitality is legendary and I feel honoured that they have taken me into their family. My sincere wish is that together Zoe and I can build a home that is as welcoming and as full of love and happiness as David and Christine””s is . personally speaking, I also quite like the idea of five bedrooms, three bathrooms and a big garden too!

I would also like to thank my parents who despite severe provocation to throw me out of the house at least once – the words shotguns and burning barns spring to mind – but you have stuck by me. You””ve raised one son to join the Army the other to join banking and I think Julian will agree with me that we have both been exceptionally lucky.

I first met Zoe when she was just twelve! I would like to say I am a man of vision. occasionally blurred, sometimes double, but nonetheless a man of vision. So lets skip ahead to the next series of encounters and a synopsis goes like this:

Kings Head – festive cheer – beautiful girl – I could never go out with a man like you.
A couple of years later
Kings Head – festive cheer – beautiful girl – more mature man – ohh he””s not too bad!

From there via, and probably despite, visiting Army bases with their machine gun towers and barbed wire, assault course – yes I really did take her over one on our first proper date, running, parachuting, motorbike riding and her devil-cat we have finally arrive here. This gives me the opportunity to thank my wife and I still can””t believe it. Firstly for choosing me but also for this incredible occasion. She has organised a fabulous event despite allowing me far more input than any groom should have the right to. Thank you.

It was her idea for this incredible place which is connected to us in the theme of her favourite author, Jane Austin. Indeed the house was used in its filming of Sense &amp Sensibility and Emma, so obviously we need a few cst members.

– The star is clearly Elisabeth Bennet
– Who is initially wooed by the dastardly Army officer Mr Wickham – Mellors you seem a candidate there.
– On the military theme there is also Col Fitzwilliam – Col Julian I think you also fit the bill, who also makes advances
– But, despite an initial refusal, all of them were beaten off by our hero Darcy.
– We now come to Mrs Bennet: so eager to marry off her children and I think we have a couple of candidates there. But as the Bride””s Mother I think Christine has the honour.
– Mr Bennet then follows as the wise and sagely father who is often exasperated by the antics of his off-spring, which David I think you thoroughly deserve.

I am often told that the secret of a good marriage is making sacrifices.
I look back at my former days and leave behind wild partying in London, or anywhere for that matter, and I have swapped it for
– a devil-cat,
– entire BBC box set of Pride and Prejudice all 5 &#189 hours
– and the most heat averse feet and hands in Christendom which, apparently, can only get warm in one specific place
– and you know what, I wouldn””t change and go back for the world.
And so I wondered what could I ask Zoe to sacrifice and then it came to me that I could combine the problem of the cold hands and the cat Bring out fur lined gloves But don””t worry there was also enough to make a scarf bring out scarf.

On a more serious note when I saw you coming down the aisle I could not believe how absolutely stunning and gorgeous you looked – and I think we would all agree. I have a few more words of praise written down here but they still don””t help me understand what someone as beautiful as you is doing with an old codger like me. Every day I am astonished by how lucky I am. I love you. I know this is a bit out of the ordinary, but please help me toast my Bride in the most important toast I””m ever going to make. Ladies &amp Gentlemen TO MY WIFE, MY BRIDE AND MY ABSOLUTE WORLD,TO ZOE.

There are two quotes that for me sums up marriage. The first is that they say ””You don””t marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you can””t live without””. Zoe you are my lobster.
The second is from a man with a following of millions, a true inspiration to all us men. Homer Simpson. He describes marriage as:
&quotMarriage is like being married to your best friend, only he lets you play with his boobies&quot

I would now like to turn to my brother, Julian. I would like to thank you for agreeing to be the Best Man, I am married, I was on time and I was sober-the odds weren””t great but you succeeded! I would also like to thank him for organising the stag do, which I””m told I enjoyed enormously but I was left with some strange belt marks which I think Zoe would like a little chat about later! Thank you. I would like to point out, before he speaks, that Julian regularly inhabits a parallel universe, where flights of fancy regularly take form, where you can say and do anything you want at others expense and where there are no consequences… How is the banking sector these days? Zoe, I don””t know what he is going to talk about but I promise you I can explain.

I also would like to thank the Ushers, Jonathon &amp Mellors for their sterling work in herding the cats that wedding parties are. Our readers, Fiona, Jazz and Mrs Houghton – that still feels slightly strange but I think I could get used to it. I””m sure you will agree they were fantastic. Thank you all.

And last but not least we come to the final part where I thank and toast the bridesmaids, Sam, Emily and Annabel. I must add how simply stunning you are all looking today and performing your roles so gracefully. I””d also like to congratulate them for doing such a great job in making sure that Zoe went against her better judgement and didn””t change her mind. So without further ado and to finish off with, Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding and join me for a toast to THE BRIDESMAIDS.