Speech by The Big Mac aka Mac Daddy

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: The Big Mac aka Mac Daddy
Speech Date: 22/10/2014 23:40:48

Good evening ladies and gents

First of all can I just say that this is a bit strange for me today because I spend the majority of my professional life asking people to be quiet, to not interrupt me and to not laugh when I'm talking….

Today however..… I'd like you to do the opposite!

My speech today is going to be a bit like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials… but short enough to hold your attention! To be honest, I didn't really know where to start with my speech, so I thought I would look on the internet…..After a couple of hours I found some really, really good stuff..… But then I remembered that I was supposed to be writing a speech!

I've also promised my wife that although I love a good pun and have asked many of you for fish puns, that a wedding speech is neither the time nor the, um, ‘plaice’

It's also worth a mention that there are going to be several toasts during the next few minutes so please could you all ensure that your glasses are full. From what I have seen so far that won't be a problem for a lot of you, but can I just remind some of you that its a marathon not a sprint! So pace yourself!

I'd like to start by talking about the star of the show…..my wife!… I just want to say how beautiful I think you look today. I honestly feel like the luckiest man in the world every morning when I wake up and you are the first thing I see, but today you have surpassed yourself, you look absolutely stunning.

I'd also like to officially welcome you in to the clan… Please prepare yourself for years of telling people how to spell your surname… “No, it's spelt M_a_c ‘Small’ D” and also prepare yourself for the the numerous fast food and farm references that your young students will tease you with… Not me though, as for you taking my surname…I'm Lovin’ it!

I first met you in Zante and I'm not quite sure what brought us together at that point in both of our lives…but I'm so glad it did.

When we first met, it was about 1 o'clock in the morning and I was ranting and raving at some Greek hotel receptionist about not having a room. I had no idea that I was about to meet the woman of my dreams at that point. You helped to console me and calm me down that night and we went on to have an excellent week getting to know one another and your lovely character and personality has been shining brightly since the moment I met you.

In all my life I have never met anyone as nice as you. There really is not one bad bone in your body. Your kind nature and ability to be positive in life is an inspiration to me. I love all the fun that we have together, our first date at Thorpe park, the jumping pictures, the long walks through beautiful locations, the cups of tea in the morning, the Friday night pizzas, the dodgey singing on SingStar, the Fast Show references (…which was nice) I could honestly go on forever, but I've only got 5 minutes!! We spent a year doing a Gavin and Stacey and travelling from one end of the country to the other to be together, spending yonks on the M25 and Christ knows what on petrol, but for me it was worth every penny and I would have travelled even further just to be with you.

We are a couple of individuals who make up an individual couple and I feel extremely proud to now call you my wife. You have my absolute word that I will be the best husband that I can be.

You once wrote something on a valentines card to me that sums up the way I feel about you… it went something like this “Your smile makes me smile. I can't help but feel excited about spending ‘Happy ever after’ with you. Thanks for being my best friend and for supporting me through the tough times. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you so, so much.”

So ladies and gentleman I'd like to ask you to raise your glasses and toast my beautiful new wife.

On behalf of my wife and I, we would like to thank all of you for coming here today and helping us make the day so special. It's lovely to see so many of our family and friends here to help us celebrate the start of our new life together. We know that some of you have travelled a long way to be here and that means a lot to us.  Some people have travelled from Australia, from France, from Wales, from Yeovil, from the North of England, from London and from Essex. It really wouldn't be the same without you all.  ….It'd be a damn sight cheaper, but that's not the point. 

In no particular order, we would like to thank the following people.

We'd like to thank my mother and father in law for helping to make this day possible. To my mother-in-law I'd like to give you these flowers as a small token of our appreciation for all that you have done and especially for the amazing wedding cakes that we all enjoyed earlier on.

To my father in law as chief cake tester, we'd like to give you this… to help you through the next few months!

To my Mum and Dad we'd also like to say thanks for all your support especially with the honeymoon. These flowers are for Mum and I'd like to thank you both for all the help that you have given me over the years and I hope that I have done you both proud. 

Both my wife and I really couldn't have asked for better parents and I'd like to say thanks from both of us to each of you for everything that you have done during our lives. Thank you.

To our parents (Toast)

My wife hasn't been the only beautiful woman here today, we've also had three lovely bridesmaids and a beautiful flower girl Evie. Thanks girls for making our wedding pictures look really good and for helping to keep my wife calm this morning. As a small token of my appreciation here is a gift for each of you.

To the bridesmaids (Toast)

There are many others of you here today that we would like to thank for playing a part in making us the couple that we are. You have all done your own little bit in one way or another to help make us a very happy couple. To anyone we have shared drinks with, worked with, gone to school or university with thank you for all of the gifts and kind wishes, we hope that you have had a good day so far and that you enjoy a drink, enjoy a good dance and have a bloody good time tonight!

To you! (Toast)

Well that's it from me I'd like to hand over to my best man, my brother. You're me best mate and a top man. Thanks for being a brilliant best man and for all your words of wisdom over the years… Some of which I have actually listened to!

For those of you who don't know my brother is actually a paranoid schizophrenic and a lot of what comes out of his mouth is completely false, but please feel free to laugh at his stories in order to humour him! Good luck with your best man speech and don't worry ….I won't mention that tattoo that you got on your left shoulder blade that Mum and Dad still don't know about, or what really happened after the school prom in 1996… I'll save that for your big day!!

Over to you!