Speech by William Brown

Speech Type: Groom
Speech Creator: William Brown
Speech Date: Aug2005
I would normally have started off with a clich&#233 like “I will try to keep this brief” but Elaine has already started the stopwatch so I had better get a move on.

Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my new bride and myself, I would like to thank you all for coming. It is an understatement to say we are very happy to have you all here today.

However, despite the presence of friends old and new and the cheer and joviality of today's occasion, I am here for one reason only.

Today I am here to make a commitment to the woman by my side, the woman I love, who supports me, indulges me and selflessly offers me so much happiness despite my shortfalls.

Compared to other couples, we haven't been together all that long. However, we have already managed to experience what feels like a whole lifetime together, experiencing many things, both good and bad.

It makes me indescribably happy to know that today represents the fact that we will share many more years together.

I must point out that Elaine carried most of the burden when it came to organising today and I would like to congratulate her on an outstanding job.

I only proposed to her last year, on my birthday of all days. She gave me the directors cut of Das Boot on DVD and I thought it only fair she gets something in return. So I popped the question and here I am.

If any one of you truly knew everything about me I am sure the sight of Elaine walking down the aisle would have borne a slight resemblance to a lemming marching to its doom.

Of course the only person who knows that much about me is Elaine herself. So I want to thank her for taking the plunge with me anyway.

Only seldom does a man enjoy the opportunity to say exactly how he feels about the people he really cares about. As such, I would like to take a few moments to express my feelings towards a few very special people.

I would like to thank my parents for doing what they did and turning me into the man I am today. Thanks dad.

I would ask that you all take note, as you may wish to think back on this day as a turning point in history, for today will see the very first time I call my new in@laws by their first name. Robert, Mary, thank you very much for all your help in making today possible and thank you also for welcoming me into your family

Another great thanks the bridesmaids, my sister Marianne and my new sister in law Diana. Together they must have spent 㾶00 on shoe leather making sure the dresses were all ok. The fact they spent an equivalent amount on lunches during this process is neither here nor there. As a side note I would like to apologise to all the single men in the room for the fact that both of these striking ladies are very much spoken for. Sorry guys!

To Robert and John@Paul for being ushers my sincerest thanks. You did a great job on crowd control with this rabble.

Dames en heren van Nederland, hartelijk bedankt dat U zo ver gekomen bent.

I would like to thank Primus Telecom for having the foresight to employ both Elaine and I at the same time and for putting me at a desk where I could see her walk back and forth to the water cooler all day.

To my best man Mark. For those of you who don't know him, Mark is this guy here. He's gregarious, charismatic, charming, speaks three languages, is a talented cook, an accomplished artist and bears a slight resemblance to Colin Farrell.

Taking all this into account I was contemplating auctioning him off to the highest bidder to pay for the honeymoon. But then I remembered the state of his liver and new it would reflect badly on the asking price.

But here he is. My best man/drinking buddy/wedding photographer/dear friend, I would like to thank him for being here today and indeed every other day and for proving to Elaine that men can be good at multi tasking too.

Thank you also to everyone who has given us gifts: with the exception of whoever got me the grass cutter. To be honest I would have preferred some slabs and concrete but there you go.

Now, I really wanted to take the time to tell you a little about Elaine. Elaine however really wanted this speech to last under 60 seconds. So, as a compromise I will say this.

We have been through so much together. Six house moves, Car crashes, dissertations and the bold tragic retreat of my hair line. Nevertheless, she is still here by my side and for that I thank her dearly.

Before I hand you over to Mark I want to make two things very clear.

1. If he's telling you about it, that means he was there.

2. If he was there, whatever it was, was his fault

All that remains to say is Thank you to all of you for coming, especially those who travelled so far. Extra special thanks however, goes to the person who travelled the farthest, my new wife, who after a 3 year journey is still right here by my side. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a toast to my stunning new bride.

To Elaine!