Speech by Abigail Clarkson

Speech Type: Maid of honour/Best woman
Speech Creator: Abigail Clarkson
Speech Date: oct 2003
Ladies and Gentleman

Before I start I want to say how beautiful and radiant Linn (the bride) looks today and Dirk (the grrom) you don't scrub up that badly either! In fact I am surprised Linn made the wedding in time since she is not normally just getting out of bed at this time!

For those of you who don't already know me my name is XXXX and I am Linn and Dirks friend from England. When Linn asked me to be her maid of honour I was filled pride and wondered what I had done to deserve such an honour.

However as the day approached I was informed that I would need to make a speech. Being the shy and retiring type (pause) I was trying to think of ways of getting out of it, but have any of you tried to say NO to Linn. (pause)Then I remembered a good definition of being the Best man, they say it is like being asked to make love to the Queen Mother – it's a great honour but nobody quite wants to do it..so here it goes!

I first met Linn when she was 19 living as an aupair in Germany. Having known Linn through her first 18 months of freedom, I have a library of stories to leave her rather embarrassed however, I have been told that my life would not be worth living if I did..so if anyone wants to meeting me at the bar later I'll tell you. Oh by the way mines a vodak and cranberry juice!

Instead I would like to share with you how Linn has taught me that friendship is the only really important thing in life (next to buying shoes of course!) From the first day we met at language school Linn took me under her wing and we bonded instantly. Infact, we were inseparable and even though we made friends with lots of other aupairs we always ended up being together. Most of our German days were spent at the wine festivals where we both met Dirk in June 96. Linn had an instant attraction to him with his curtain hairstyle and hideous shirts, (thank goodness Linn has helped him in the clothes department over the years!). Even though love blossomed between the two of them, Linn never forgot me as a friend in fact I gained an equally special friend in Dirk.

Although distance has made it much more difficult for us to remain involved in each others lives we still managed to keep that close contact. Linn you have always been there when I needed someone to talk to (or do a bungee jump with) so now's it's my chance to say thank you. They say friends are the family we choose and I am glad to have you as a close friend. Linn I want you to know that you're like sister to me. We have supported each other through good times and the bad. You've always been there for me and I hope our friendship only grows in the years to come.

Linn has taught me some first aid skills for sunburn. One year we were both on holiday and got severely burnt. Linn told me that yoghurt was the only thing that would help us…must have been a Norwegian thing because I have never heard of it. We then spent the rest of the evening spooning yoghurt on our backs, not that much ended up on your backs though eh Linn! I waited and waited for something to happen but it never did so don't try this at home ladies and gentleman.

Linn has also taught me some fashion tips, before I meet her, I did not own a pair of jeans but at the end of our time in Germany we known as the aupairs in the jean jackets! Shame she did not help me today eh, I seem to be the only one wearing a hat!

Linn is a beautiful person inside and out. I've had the pleasure of being Linn's friend for 7 years and I will cherish the wonderful times spent together. But my fondest memory I will now have is watching Linn marry her best friend, the love of her life and true companion, Dirk. I love you both very much, you are two extremely special people in my life. In the past few years I have seen you both grow as individuals and flourish as a couple.

Let's just hope they have enough money for food as anyone who know Dirk will know he has a big appetite and his love for food and bottled water may make them bankrupt. Although Linn is just as bad with her love of Haribo, once when she was at mine she pigged out so much she was sick! So on this note all us girls have compiled this cookbook of our favourite recipes to keep Dirks stomach in check.

Now that you are married I have been told it is tradition to offer the married couple some words of wisdom on married life! So I asked around and was told the following things:

Some said marriage begins when you sink into his arms and ends up with arms in his sink. Others would say that before marriage a man will lie awake thinking about something you said, after marriage he'll fall asleep before you have finished saying it. Now I'm sure some of you other there can relate to that!

Now just because I'm not married and never have been, doesn't mean I'm not an expert on the subject. So here are one single girls words of wisdom for the newly married couple, Dirk I hope your listening carefully.

One word: FLUSH
Remember the phrases: You're right dear, Okay buy it.
If you're clever you'll always have the last word, BUT if your clever you won't use it!
When your wrong admit it, when you're right shut up!
Share everything including the bedcovers.
The best way to remember an anniversary is the to forget it once.
Set the ground rules first then do everything Linn tells you.
Never be afraid Linn will leave you, she has spend years training you (pause) and she won't give up that lightly!
Lastly one for the bedroom; laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Just remember a marriage is made in heaven, but the maintenance work is to be carried out on earth! Now, I don't know if you both remember this but one night shortly before it was time to leave Germany, we were looking out of the sunroof at the stars whilst listening to Bob Marley. We were discussing all of us leaving to go to different countries, we then came up with the theory that there was only one sky and if we look up we could all meet each other there. I thought about this decided that I would buy you your own stars next to each other one is called Linn-Merethe Wilhelmi and the other Dirk Wilhelmi so you are never parted. (I bought a 2 stars for them them next to each other from www.lastminute.com)

Finally, may you both continue to grow in love, not forgetting the importance of understanding, forgiveness and tolerance. But most importantly, may you never forget the love that brought you together today – a love so strong that you decided to share it forever in each other's company.

May your love be like the wind, strong enough to move the clouds, soft enough to never hurt but always and never ending! Separately you are two special, remarkable people but together you are complete. It now gives me immense pleasure (not to mention relief) to invite you all to stand and raises your glasses in a toast to the new Mr and Mrs Wilhelmi and wish them well in the future. May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever. To laughter and happy ever after. Congratualations to you both. Cheers