Speech by Denise Ing

Speech Type: Maid of honour/Best woman
Speech Creator: Denise Ing
Speech Date: Mar 2001
Ladies and Gentlemen, you'll be pleased to know I am only going to speak for a couple of minutes for the sake of my throat because if I go on for too long, Jessica has threatened to cut it.

Let me start by saying that my knowledge of Jessica and Herb comes from the most awkward stage in one's life, the teenage years. There are a lot of extremely embarrassing things that both Jessica and Herb have done that they never told their parents. Hence, I've brought a list of all of them here tonight. (Bring out list) Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you two.

I got to know Jessica and Herb sometime in high school. My first memories of them were misleading yet contained a grain of truth to them nonetheless.

Jessica was the loudest in a group of female friends. She had a bad perm, spewed a lot of bad language, and knew all the lyrics to every hip hop song – probably much to the mortification of Mr. And Mrs. Chow. Jessica's favourite way of annoying me was to claim that her baby pillow Fetous was better than my baby blanket Boucho. To this day, I maintain my blankie's superiority.

Herb was a lot quieter but he also managed to stick out like a sore thumb because he was the only Chinese player on the high school basketball team. He drove a tiny Honda Civic with no power steering that was meant to carry only four passengers but could fit more when someone was willing to ride in the trunk. I was the first person to shorten his name from Herbert to Herb so he returned the favour and has always called me Den. Like Jessica, Herb loved hip hop.

After hanging out together in grade 12, they became an item in OAC or grade 13. Just how it happened, I'm not sure. I imagine that Herb won Jessica over with his smooth ways and rap lyrics, while Jessica's bashful blushes no doubt got the better of Herb.

Their relationship turned out to be a mutually beneficial one. When we all went out clubbing and had a few drinks, Herb could be relied upon to be the responsible one and drag Jessica and company safely home. When Herb made a cheesy joke, Jessica would laugh for everyone else.

But, as fun as it is to assassinate Herb and Jessica's characters, I must admit that their relationship is more than just drunken escapades and bad one-liners. Herb and Jessica have grown from high school sweethearts to mature adults who understand that a relationship requires commitment and compromise. Through major life changes and everyday hurdles, Jessica and Herb have shared mutual love and trust. These qualities will no doubt come in handy as a married couple in the years to come.

Now it gives me immense pleasure (and relief) to invite you all to raise your glasses in a toast to Herb and Jessica.

To love, laughter, and happily ever after. Cheers.