Speech by Jessica Heard

Speech Type: Maid of honour/Best woman
Speech Creator: Jessica Heard
Speech Date: oct 2004
Good evening. I would like to thank all of you for attending this joyful occasion.
For those of you that don't know me, I'm Sarah's friend Jessica, sometimes known as "Natasha" or "Sarah's foot taller twin sister". I'm sure you read in the playbill/program that I used to work with her at Hume Lake in the accounting department. We hit it off from the start – both having a love for drama, we spent not only our working days together but every night as well. We got into trouble a lot for talking too much – so much that it became necessary to write notes, crumple them up and throw them at each other when no one was looking.

Through the years we kept in contact while she went away to College and I even got to visit her in Seattle for a short period of time – a tip for everyone – the romantic-looking horse drawn carriage rides that take you through old town Seattle – aren't very romantic when the horse has gas problems……

Anyway, she finally came back from school and we spent practically everyday hanging out eating taco bell – she brought me ice cream in the hospital when my second child was born and became Auntie Sarah to both my girls.

She had finally come to the point of accepting the fact she was going to be an old maid at 24, when she called me one day and said she had lunch with some people from church and this guy named "Jay", who afterwards had asked her to come over to his house. While she was there he showed her something like – his baby pictures – and she was just totally weirded out. So when he asked her out for the next weekend she not only brought me, but also my husband and 2 children as well. "This wasn't a date!" she would say. He survived meeting all of us – plus my child barfing on me at dinner, but Sarah was still unsure of him. The next night they came over for dinner and Sarah broke one of my dinning room chairs, but he still stuck around. I thought – "Oh yeah, this guy likes her." I lit some candles for "ambiance" and the next day I was told she had booked the church.

A month or so later, I helped Jay get the ring and think up this completely romantic way of proposing: We were to dip the ring box in chocolate and put it in a candy box, take it to her school and then he'd propose in-front of her class. Well, I had forgotten to get chocolate to cover the ring box, so I melted some old Christmas candy: Hershey Kisses with almonds -( I DON'T suggest that to anyone ) it never hardened completely, but we put it in the chocolate box and went off to her school. Jay wanted me to come along and take pictures, but I had my kids with me – so we decided to wait for her to come out of her class. I had a video camera, my children were running around wild, Jay seemed to be pretty calm – just really giddy. Sarah finally came out and Lauren ran up to her, she saw the camera and started laughing. Jay went up to her and told her he bought this box of candy for her and Sarah was like: "But I'm hungry, let's get lunch." Not being able to wait any longer, he opened the box and pointed to the "Larger Chocolate blob" in the middle. Sarah was laughing, Jay was laughing. He got on one knee and proposed as he tried to open the melted chocolate ring box. She accepted and he accidentally dropped the ring box, which would have been okay, except that she had her dog with her which immediately started licking and trying to eat the box. All of this caught on video. (I'll be selling them at the back of the room this evening.) Anyway, they got the ring on and all was well.

Today I'm honored to stand by her side on her wedding day, and I'm so happy that she has asked me to be her matron of honor. On behalf of the bridesmaids and myself, I just want to say how beautiful you look today, it has truly been a special day for all of us.

Jay, as Sarah's husband, there is something I need to ask you to do. I need the both of you to stand and I need you to place your right hand on top of hers.… Take a moment to feel how it feels,… because this will be the only time that you will have the upper hand in this union.

And to both of you a little advice: "To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup- When you are wrong, admit it and when you are right, shut up!"

I now invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast To Sarah and Jay, "Here's to marriage, that happy estate that resembles a pair of scissors: ‘So joined that they cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet punishing anyone who comes between them.’ – ‘May your imperfections make you perfect for each other.’ – ‘May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries many.’ – and ‘May God bless your marriage and your home!’ To love laughter and happily ever after!