Speech by Traci Jones

Speech Type: Maid of honour/Best woman
Speech Creator: Traci Jones
Speech Date: 17/08/2014 06:59:12

I want to start off by saying that every once in a while two people meet, and you know it's meant to be. You know instantly that the stars have aligned and their paths would bring them together regardless what the world may throw their way. This was clearly the case 27 years ago, when Stacy and I first met.

Let me break down 27 years of friendship for you:

We met in middle school in 1987.

We wore multiple pairs of socks, at one time, on any given day – and it was adorable.

Our hair was permed and our bangs were huge.

Together we survived the 1988 school ban on aerosol hairspray.

Our collection of Swatch Watches and Esprit bags was pretty damn impressive.

Stacy not wanting to be selfish, shared the chicken pox with me in the 7th grade.

In return Stacy was invited every summer to celebrate my sister's birthday with our family at the beach. Tricia, however, didn't get to invite a friend and she is still bitter about that to this day.

Stacy is the ONLY reason I passed algebra.

We would carpool together; sometimes I would drive and sometimes I would catch a ride on the hood of Stacy's car – followed by catching a ride in an ambulance.

And finally, if I ever have a grammar emergency, Stacy is my MLA Style Guide, APA Style Guide, and Elements of Style all rolled into one phone call. We don't always agree on the small things, for example how many spaces after a sentence. (1 people, the answer is 1 – no one likes a page full of rivers.) But we do agree on the big ones, like the use of the Oxford comma. And as we all know, it's the big things that matter. 

Damon, I will spare everyone the details about the night you and Stacy were reunited, but don't be mistaken, it's not because I don't want to embarrass you in front of your mom, but rather because no one would believe that a couch that filthy would have sparked such a beautiful union. I will, however, tell you how I learned of their engagement. It was a series of text messages that played out like this:

Damon: Texts picture of engagement ring

Me: What????? For real? Are you fucking with me?

Damon: Lol. For reals. Can't even tell it's a CZ

Me: Ass

Damon: No. It's real and I'm for real

Me: Damon if you are yanking my chain I will end you.

Damon: LMAO. Totally serious.

Me: Is she with you?

Damon: Yes. But she doesn't know. I mean she knows stuff but not everything.

To be fair, I'm fairly certain a few weeks/months later there was a romantic trip to the falls that emulated their first date where he lovingly dropped to a knee and popped the question and I'm pretty sure she agreed allowing us all to witness this perfect day.

At the risk of sounding cliché, I cannot think of two people more suited for one another. Damon's outgoing and infectious personality encourages Stacy to step out of her comfort zone and experience things she would have never attempted without him. Stacy's level-headed and steadfast approach to life offers structure to Damon's.

From middle school dances, to high school graduation, and to this very day, Stacy has been my best friend. She is honest, loyal, smart, patient, and beautiful. For that, I am stepping outside of my comfort zone and offer you this:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove; O no! It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

For the record, I am 98% sure Shakespeare is writing of everlasting love in this sonnet, making it 100% appropriate for a wedding toast. The slightly wavering 2% stems from “Go thee to a nunnery” which revealed Shakespeare as an evil lyrical genius. Either way, look at me mom – I'm quoting Shakespeare!

May you live forever in love and may love live forever in you.