Unorganised and unprofessional. Strap in for a very long but honest review of our wedding day at Upton Barn.
My husband and I got married at Upton Barn in September 2023. We have taken a few months to share our experience as unfortunately we do not have a positive review and it’s not been enjoyable reliving these issues. But after much consideration, we feel a fair and honest review is due for future couples considering the venue for their big day.
Our initial impression of the venue was great and we had a lovely show round with Harriet. It’s beautiful, private and all our ideas were welcomed with open arms by Upton staff. We quickly secured our date for a hefty fee of over £8,000. As our wedding date approached and we were assigned a wedding coordinator, our experience changed for all of the reasons listed below:
Planning
- Multiple times, somebody with the same first name as my husband was cc’d into email communication with the venue - this was obviously a mistake, but a GDPR breach and concerning that a lot of our private information was sent to a stranger.
- Devon wedding suppliers are a tight circle where everyone knows everyone. During planning meetings with other suppliers we had chosen, it was clear many did not have a favourable opinion of Upton Barn, and we were warned that they were trying to portray a bespoke wedding aesthetic on socials, but they aren’t able to cater for it, and in reality they are more of a ‘wedding factory’ venue - something that became very clear to us later on in the process. In particular, we were warned of their wedding coordinator, Sarah, who they had ‘unpleasant’ and ‘rude’ dealings with before. And unfortunately, this is who we were assigned.
- We were asked to complete very detailed documents about the day, including names of our close family and bridal party. We made it very clear that my husband’s parents were separated, and the Mother of the Groom would be attending with her partner. Upton continuously and incorrectly referred to his family as Mother of the Groom, Father of the Groom and Step-Mother of the Groom.
Getting ready at The Paddock
- Firstly, it is only fair to say this space is beautiful. It is an extra £500 but absolutely worth booking if the bride and bridal party need somewhere to get ready.
- The day before the wedding you are allocated 30 mins to drop off any decorations. During this time, we dropped off some items for The Paddock so it was less for the bridal party to take on the morning as we were travelling from a nearby hotel - PJs, steamer, bottle of bubbles, bridesmaid gifts, hangers, pretty much everything apart from the dress. On the morning of the wedding, we arrived at The Paddock at 7am and let ourselves in (the whole venue is locked-up and unstaffed at this time, so it operates on a self-check process through an app). Our items were nowhere to be seen, so we assumed they were in the locked ‘Boot Room’, a small room inside The Paddock. There was a welcome handbook on the side which stated I should have been emailed a code to the boot room the day before. I checked my email and had not received the code. I must have called the emergency out-of-hours number supplied in the handbook approximately 15 times and no answer. I called the Upton Barn office and emailed the whole team, but no luck as they do not start work until 10am on the day of the wedding. We managed to find a cleaner in the car park but unfortunately they did not know the code to the boot room. They said the emergency out of hours number went through to the owners of the barn and they were currently on holiday and no one was manning it in their absence. When Sarah eventually arrived and opened the boot room, she blamed it on the cleaners, unaware that we had already spoken to them and therefore we knew this was a lie. No apology for forgetting to email me the code and dishonesty. Myself and the bridal party started getting ready 3 HOURS LATE because of this mistake.
- Upton suggests very specific timings for the order of the day, including a time that the Father of the Bride is brought up to The Paddock for ‘the first look’. My dad was brought up to the paddock by Sarah much earlier than planned, whilst I was still in my PJs - a moment we’ll never get back. He awkwardly waited around instead of mingling with family as they were arriving and being brought up when needed.
Ceremony
- Part of the extensive documents you’re asked to complete ahead of the wedding is a ceremony seating plan. As me and the bridesmaids were waiting to walk down the aisle, Sarah produced an old ceremony seating plan from months ago, and proceeded to instruct the bridesmaids to sit in the incorrect place. After the ceremony, my husband said Phil took him and the groomsmen through the same out of date seating plan, confusing everybody. Thankfully we had sent our bridal party the correct seating plan so they were able to find it on their phones.
- Upton request that you make a Spotify playlist for each section of the day with very specific naming conventions so there is no mistaking which wedding the playlists are for. Our one walking down the aisle song was provided it’s own playlist, clearly labelled with our names and wedding date - somehow, the completely wrong song started to play as our bridesmaids walked down the aisle and as you can imagine, I immediately told them it was the wrong song whilst they awkwardly changed it and completely ruined the moment. Later in the day, we had an apology from Phil and were told it was a ‘slip of a finger’.
- In the entrance to the walled garden, there was dog poo. And instead of someone picking it up, a chair was placed on top of it to avoid someone stepping in it. We weren’t even allowed our dog at the venue, so I have no idea how dog poo even got on the property if pets aren’t allowed because of the horses.
- We had our ceremony outside in the walled garden and since the wedding we’ve had a lot of feedback from guests saying they couldn’t see any of the ceremony because the tall hedges lining the aisle block the view and unless you’re sat in the front row, you cannot hear anything.
Wedding breakfast
- If your eating in The Stable Barn, please do your guests a favour and put fans on their place settings. The room is UNBEARABLY hot - we’re talking dripping with sweat and desperate to get out of the room - just how you want your guests to feel after you’ve spent over £6,500 on a 3-course sit down meal for everyone. For reference, it reached a max of 20 degrees on the day of our wedding, so we really really feel for you if you have a scorcher of a day.
- There are air con units in the room which Sarah repeatedly told us were ‘on’. This was not true, the vents were shut and the room was around 30 degrees. When I went and asked a member of staff behind the bar, she told me they had ‘technical difficulties’ - Sarah proceeded to lie to us and tell us they were on.
- The table sat closest to the floor to ceiling window really took to brunt of the heat and the sun beams through this window at the exact time the wedding breakfast is served. Everyone was sat with their sunglasses on, dripping with sweat.
- Two members of our families had recently had heart attacks and had to leave the room because they felt so uncomfortable in the heat, missing all the speeches.
- My wedding dress was corseted inside and extremely tight - I had to leave the wedding breakfast on 3 separate occasions with my bridesmaid to loosen my dress as the heat was so uncomfortable and made it difficult to breathe.
- Upton are clearly aware of this issue as they pulled a HUGE fan out of the cupboard which not only looked ugly (think 5ft x 5ft industrial looking thing), it did absolutely nothing.
- We chose to have the speeches at the end of the wedding breakfast, so as you can imagine, everyone BOLTED out that room the second they were over, heading straight outside for some fresh air.
- We requested for our wedding breakfast table flowers to be used around the venue afterwards, this did not happen.
- When they announced us into The Stable Barn, the wedding breakfast entrance song was played so quietly we could not hear it at all - not the buzzing vibe you’re hoping for.
Drinks
- At our planning meeting, 6 weeks before the wedding, Sarah handed us a 12-page drinks menu and we were asked to confirm all our drinks there and then. Seeing as this was the first time we had seen the menu and we were not allowed to taste any of the wine, we requested that we had some time to think about it. The drinks we pre-purchased totalled £3,500 - where else would you be expected to spend that amount of money on something without trying it first! We also found it very difficult to source the wine ourselves and had to order online from a wholesaler. If they do not offer tastings in the planning meeting, I’m not sure why the menu wasn’t shared with us months in advance.
- Let me start by saying the tagline on the front of the drinks menu is ‘Our innovative and fun drinks menu enables you to create your own bespoke wedding drinks to suit your personal style and budget.’ This couldn’t be further from the truth. Everything we suggested to Sarah during the planning meeting was welcomed with open arms - Prosecco for when guests arrive, a cocktail hour etc. When we followed up to confirm quantities / types of cocktails etc, it was a very different story…..
- As guests arrived before the ceremony, we wanted to provide them with a glass of bubbles. This initially wasn’t allowed because Upton did not have enough glasses to serve drinks pre-ceremony and post-ceremony as they don’t have the staff available to wash them in between. When I said I would hire glasses, the reason changed to ‘the Prosecco would go flat’. When we altered it to soft drinks, again they didn’t have enough glasses. Ultimately this is all excuses because they want people to spend money behind the bar. So instead of being greeted with a lovely glass of bubbles when they arrived, our guests were completely unaware there was money behind the bar for them, because obviously they were stood outside mingling in the sunshine, and the bar is inside.
- Post-ceremony, we served Prosecco and canapés. Our quote included individual Prosecco bottles with straws, rather than flutes - supposedly an honest mistake, but I believe this was an attempt to charge us much more, so please check your invoices very carefully - this added on hundreds of pounds.
- Post-wedding breakfast we wanted a cocktail hour. Pickle Shack, our food caterers, were already laying out tea and coffee in The Press Bar seating area for guests to help themselves, and so we wanted to do something similar with cocktails, for guests who did not want tea or coffee (basically all our friends!). We chose two different cocktails and requested that whilst the speeches were happening, the cocktails were pre-prepared and left on the side for guests to help themselves. We thought this was a nice touch, but most importantly avoided 80 guests all lining up at the bar at the same time, waiting to order a drink.
- Again, this was meet with a lot of resistance and we were told it could not happen because they did not have enough glasses. When I questioned this excuse, knowing full well that they advertise they can cater for weddings twice the size of ours, and questioning what would happen when everyone orders a drink from behind the bar and isn’t this the same amount of glasses as if they were on the side, the response we received from Sarah was ‘please do not worry about the glasses’. No explanation and again, encouraged to just put money behind the bar. The only option presented to us was to make ‘drinks tokens’ and place them on our guest table settings - we never entertained this option, as we personally felt it was very tacky.
- When we expressed that we were not happy with this, we received a phone call from Claire, the owner of the venue. In a very passive aggressive manner she told me they know weddings best and that people would organically flow out of The Stable Barn and down to The Press Bar, so there would not be a queue at the bar. Firstly, let me tell you we know our friends better than you do and we knew that everyone would be ready to party and their first thought would be - the bar. Secondly, with the unbearable heat of The Stable Barn, trust me when I say there was a mass exit and everyone beelined for the bar.
- We decided to proceed with money behind the bar and had a lovely bar sign made promoting the 2 x cocktails that we had chosen. All the feedback we’ve had from guests is that they had no idea there was a cocktail hour - because no one could see the bar sign because there was so many people at the bar were obscuring it!
- Be aware that drinks are TWICE the price in the evening, because they are served behind the bar - this is the real reason they won’t let you do anything but put money behind the bar. So, if we wanted to serve the exact same cocktails, during canapés earlier in the day, they would have been half the price.
- We requested that any bottles of wine not consumed by guests during the wedding breakfast were placed on the side during the party so they did not go to waste. This was not allowed because they want guests to spend money behind the bar, and instead, any unopened bottles were left for us to collect the following day.
- Our Spotify playlist for coffee / cocktail hour was not playing and we had to go and request that they turned it on.
Finally, for the worst part! During the party, a member of Upton staff was chatting to one of our other suppliers and commented that ‘we were an extremely demanding couple!’ Our other supplier was so shocked at their unprofessionalism, they went and told my mum so we could complain about their behaviour afterwards. The fact they had the nerve to say that after all these issues that occurred on the day baffles us. What makes it even worse, is that when the party ended and we were leaving the venue, Phil said to our faces it was ‘the best wedding they had seen all year’.
As most people will tell you, not much can ruin your wedding day as it really is one of the best days of your lives. We have so many wonderful memories of the food, the band, and spending quality time with our friends and family, but after much consideration we felt this review was necessary because everything that did cause us stress in the run up to the big day, and things that went wrong on the day, was always a result of Upton Barn staff and we feel this is not acceptable and ultimately, extremely upsetting. We also want to make it clear that Upton have requested a review from us.